I hope you're alright there Bob. Not being silly but maybe you should give all the pills a rest and just take something for the neck pain. Give yourself a chance to get back to your normal mood.
Oh, I haven't taken anything.
This is my normal mood, sans any kind of support. There isn't anything that helps the neck pain as its neurological. Not really alright either no. Called secondary support again today, dude said he would contact the lead psychologist see if anything could be done (seems my old psychologist has left which is why I suddenly got discharged). Lead psychologist likely wont do anything (because they cant). Failing that he said they would get me in to discuss meds. Which means nardil, because anything else is a waste of time.
My "normal mood" as you see it, and have seen it over the past two years has been the result of having a very good psychologist helping me. Now the seasonal depression has hit, my support has gone, I have a lot of pressure re university and its all come crashing down. My other sources of support (not that they helped) have also ended.
This is it, I am basically on my own with a ****ed up brain which has mini depressive episodes daily (no mania, sadly), a lot of pressure, and the inability to use chairs for any length of time, or look down for any length of time. From this point I have to try to build a life from the ground up, and it just seems completely futile (from my bed).
I could handle the anxiety. Anxiety is ****ing easy
. I cant handle it with depression and not being able to use seating.
I will do my best to drug my way through it all though, what else can I do?