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post #13881 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 07:09 PM
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I am so disengaged... I have a hard time seeing any way back from this.


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post #13882 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by tehuti88 View Post
Being a wild Bison, probably not the best idea.

It's amazing how they move many Bison -


Most likely via feeding them, then encouraging a few and the rest follow.
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post #13883 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 07:43 PM
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yay! that's great news
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Eye doctor said it was normal. So, I guess he is fine.
Another storm rolling in. So far wind, lightning and distant thunder. Hoping it's not as powerful as that last one.

:: As it stands, more people are willing to kill for what they believe in, rather than die for it ::


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post #13884 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 08:09 PM
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I wish I could go through this miserable existence on auto pilot. I hate having emotions and feelings.
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post #13885 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 08:13 PM
 
 
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me: signs up for tons of social sites, installs a bunch of sites to meet up or talk to people

also me: after signing up/installing, never uses the site or app again. On occasion, woefully stares at the apps on the homescreen before moving on to something else.

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post #13886 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by llodell88 View Post
i dont like when people lie to me to make me feel better, i'd rather live in the real world. It's one of those things that makes me actually angry. Then I might use people's lies to make decisions in the future or something like that, I worry about that too, I don't like it when people have control over my mind like that. Maybe I am just thinking of specific instances when it happened though and I got angry. When I am filling out personality questionnaires I wonder about that too. They ask me a question and I think of a few instances of something to make my decision when really I probably need to be sitting there for like an hour at least to figure out the answer to this question. Actually a lot of times I cold go either way on those surveys, like it doesn't even matter so I just go how I'm feeling with at that time. I've been thinking about this all day, lots of days, always.

But there are a lot of instances where I prefer people to be honest rather than lie, but nobody really knows what is going to offend another person I guess, but yeah people assume I'm going to be offended by stuff I'm not, maybe because they would be, who knows. And I get ticked off when people don't get me too, especially the things I know about myself the most, or I think are obvious, if they don't get that, then I'm really ticked.
I have had that piece of advice about what to do, and didn't have the answer which I had to find out in the course of time. So I understand that frustration.

What I learnt is decisions are made on the process of elimination and only you can make the final decision. You think that advice won't work for that reason. That other piece of advice won't work for another reason. Basically everyone has opinions based on their life experiences. It is finding advice that works for your situation.

But sometimes people don't mention some things about a situation (or mention it elsewhere, expecting people to read everything they say) and others give advice which doesn't work. That is where advice can go wrong and or frustrate people. They may have good intentions and trying to help encourage you to make a change that is needed.

With SA things go through ones mind which look like a nightmare scenario which prevents a person with SA from doing things. Usually it never turns out how a person expects it to. It can happen due to lack of experience at how to handle a social situation or a situation in general (sometimes up against people with years of experience with social or other situations). Sometimes you need to make mistakes to learn and gain your own life experience. It is ok to make mistakes. We are human.
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post #13887 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 08:46 PM
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Iím currently thinking about how much I dislike myself. How ugly I am and how much I wish I was someone else. How much of a failure I am to society, how Iím always a last resort to men, Iím thinking about todayís appointment I had a weigh in and it depresses me. I need someone to take 500lbs from me. Iím thinking of how I have no friends irl and it makes me lonely, Iím thinking of how all my family is so toxic that I could barely stand to be around them for 10 days. Iím thinking of how extended family will never become close relatives again, they all come off as cold even when I greet them with a big smile.

I know a poet. Heís as sweet as pie, writes poems about me that make me cry. Arthur Miller, 12 years senior, heís my bugga baby sigh.
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post #13888 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 08:47 PM
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I am also thinking about the six boxes of thin mints Iím getting tomorrow.

I know a poet. Heís as sweet as pie, writes poems about me that make me cry. Arthur Miller, 12 years senior, heís my bugga baby sigh.
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post #13889 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 09:51 PM
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Veronica.


VERONICA

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Sounds like you've got it rough @Zatch
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I don't believe you at all about the taste. You are vegan anyway, so how would you know what meat tastes like. I get sick of vegans saying it tastes the same and then you bite into it and it's horrible.
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noodles. NOODLES
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post #13890 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 10:29 PM
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noodles. NOODLES

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post #13891 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 11:15 PM
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When people want a quick cheap solution with 3D (on a low budget animation), they tend to copy and modify the character to be male or female by changing clothes -


Also no cloth simulation on the dress (animated by hand).

Cloth simulation produces this type of result which is close to reality -


It is using a computer game engine for real time interaction, set poses with animation, etc, but gives an idea of what can be done with cloth simulation.

Lots of technical stuff. It is why I love 3D, as your imagination is the only limiting factor.
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post #13892 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 11:21 PM
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When people want a quick cheap solution with 3D (on a low budget animation), they tend to copy and modify the character to be male or female by changing clothes -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQmP9pC7okY

Also no cloth simulation on the dress (animated by hand).

Cloth simulation produces this type of result which is close to reality -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBfxnayIlOY

It is using a computer game engine for real time interaction, set poses with animation, etc, but gives an idea of what can be done with cloth simulation.

Lots of technical stuff. It is why I love 3D, as your imagination is the only limiting factor.
That's so cool! I had the hardest time with 3D design in high school, it was a class option at the time. It's definitely not simple (not that I thought it would be)

It's really bad but to keep from failing the class this guy next to me helped me out A LOT...like I did the basic design and he did pretty much all of it. I liked him a lot so I mean...I got to make excuses to talk to him and he'd lean over me or put his hand over mine on the mouse ok enough of that. lol

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post #13893 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-02-2018, 11:55 PM
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Originally Posted by A Toxic Butterfly View Post
That's so cool! I had the hardest time with 3D design in high school, it was a class option at the time. It's definitely not simple (not that I thought it would be)

It's really bad but to keep from failing the class this guy next to me helped me out A LOT...like I did the basic design and he did pretty much all of it. I liked him a lot so I mean...I got to make excuses to talk to him and he'd lean over me or put his hand over mine on the mouse ok enough of that. lol
It is complicated if don't know the processes to create objects, texture, light, animate. But once learn those processes it becomes a lot easier.

Can imagine him saying in a cheeky way, lets move this object over here.

In the 3D industry there is always seems to be those types of stories, jokes, etc.
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post #13894 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 03:58 AM
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Ugh, agreed last night to just be friends, got a message this morning describing an intimate thing she wants to do. Had to just fairly bluntly tell her I can only be friends, but I think that might be a problem. Because I had to say something. She hasn't responded.

I really didn't need that when I woke up, am now just permastressed again.

No idea how to handle this **** properly. I know I haven't though, that's for sure.

Dimethylamidophenyldimethylpyrazolone
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post #13895 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 04:09 AM
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Ugh, agreed last night to just be friends, got a message this morning describing an intimate thing she wants to do. Had to just fairly bluntly tell her I can only be friends, but I think that might be a problem. Because I had to say something. She hasn't responded.

I really didn't need that when I woke up, am now just permastressed again.

No idea how to handle this **** properly. I know I haven't though, that's for sure.
I know you're trying to go easy on her but the burden of her feelings doesn't solely rest on you. She needs to respect your feelings & decision too, and there's nothing wrong with you firmly responding to it.

I know you're a good guy and feel concerned but honestly it's not your job to protect her feelings. She may be younger but still an adult, she, like me and everyone else learn from these experiences and getting hurt is just part of life. She'll be okay. I just hope you will be too.

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post #13896 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 04:19 AM
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post #13897 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 05:17 AM
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Originally Posted by A Toxic Butterfly View Post
I know you're trying to go easy on her but the burden of her feelings doesn't solely rest on you. She needs to respect your feelings & decision too, and there's nothing wrong with you firmly responding to it.

I know you're a good guy and feel concerned but honestly it's not your job to protect her feelings. She may be younger but still an adult, she, like me and everyone else learn from these experiences and getting hurt is just part of life. She'll be okay. I just hope you will be too.
Thanks

Yeh I feel responsible because I went into it with a lot of doubts. But I always have doubts (probably everyone does). My therapist always advised me to see dating as a period of getting to know another person whereby you mutually determine whether you will be compatible. This is the approach I took, but I don't think she saw it in this way. I obviously struggle with 1. Deciding whether there is sufficient interest on my part. 2. Letting someone down kindly but assertively (and not taking more responsibility than is mine to take).

Stuff I need to work on.

She eventually replied "friends is good" btw. I am not sure whether this will hold up.

Dimethylamidophenyldimethylpyrazolone
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post #13898 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 07:57 AM
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I'm thinking about how confusing online communities can be too me.
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post #13899 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 09:21 AM
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Classes start in 16 days. Yikes

Live life no matter what.. never quit you deserve better.
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post #13900 of 16061 (permalink) Old 08-03-2018, 09:33 AM
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Classes start in 16 days. Yikes
You got this!
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