Too School for Cool
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: At the Lonely End of the Rink
These cats are going to kill me.
But Elise, you say, cats are adorable! Cats are loveable! Cats make your life complete!
Not these cats.
A relative of mine is away for the summer, and offered to let me stay in her fancy shmancy apartment if I would look after her two cats, Jack and Will. I have never owned a cat before, but of course, I readily agreed. How hard could it be?
I'm two weeks in and the cats have totally exhausted me. They are demons. Demon cats I say.
First off, they are feral and are terrified of humans. Second off, they both have serious health issues and require several pills two to three times a day. Third off, they hate me. Pill-time is a 30 minute extravaganza THREE TIMES A DAY usually involving tears, scratches, and the knocking over of numerous chairs.
Jack has a heart problem and if he doesn't get his pills for a couple days his heart will basically explode. Will has some sort of cat colitis and if he doesn't get his pills throws up and poops all over the apartment. Stress also induces a reaction, so if Will DOES manage to get his pills the pill-extravaganza was so stressful he throws up and poops all over the apartment anyways.
In the last two weeks, either Jack or Will has:
-knocked over their litter boxes about 8 times
-thrown up on the living room rug
-thrown up under the kitchen table
-thrown up in a plant holder
-pooped on the shower mat
-pooped on every other carpeted area in the house
-pooped about 12 inches from their litter box
-shredded one of my shirts
-eaten part of a house plant and then thrown it up
-scratched through a pair of my jeans
-woken me up daily at 4am
Oh, and have I mentioned, I HAVE DISCOVERED I AM ALLERGIC TO CATS.
I'm telling you guys, this next month is going to be brutal. Heart pills. Liquid potassium pipettes. Pregnazone pills. Four different types of hypoallergenic food. Coughing. Sneezing. Runny nose. Cat vomit. Cat poop. GYARGH.
- I'mma be the syrup she can be my waffle.