Parents think I'm an alcoholic - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
*
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,177

Parents think I'm an alcoholic


I won't get into it all in detail right now, but I like to drink, often. My mother, whom I live with, has given me Sept. 6th as my move out date because of my supposed alcoholism. I don't have any physical symptoms of withdrawal, nor do I feel a compulsion to drink. I just really like beer and I don't have much to do right now since I'm not working.

I'm thinking about going to AA tonight just to see what it's like. It'll be interesting to see how twisted and stupid and boring and religious AA is, from what I've heard and read. I sincerely believe AA is a cult and that it does more harm than good. I'm especially turned off by the deeply religious aspect of the twelve steps.

Has anyone here ever been to an AA meeting? How did it go, what do you think about AA, and did it help you in any way?


Andre is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 10:54 AM
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,099

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


How much and how often are you drinking? Obviously, you'll be hard-pressed to convince your mother otherwise as I doubt she's being even-handed in this. Will going to AA, even to simply appease her, be enough to keep you in the house?

I, too, like beer and don't consider it abuse when done responsibly. My family has a history of alcohol abuse and when I started drinking bottles of wine on a nightly basis, my mother started to closely monitor my consumption and confronted me about it. It's never been beyond my control, though, so I never bothered with AA.
Slothrop is offline  
post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 10:57 AM
SAS Member
 
shyvr6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Posts: 31,312
My Mood: Bitchy

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Maybe it's not just the beer drinking, but your behavior? She might be seeing something that you aren't noticing after you had several beers. Just one possible reason to be aware of.
shyvr6 is offline  
post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 11:10 AM Thread Starter
*
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,177

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


My behavior? Well, I tend to drink at night and not around them. I've never gotten overly emotional and angry like some who drink. Actually, I'm pleasant to be around when I'm drunk.

Slothrop, I had been drinking every other day usually. When I do drink, I tend to get trashed and pass out. So that worries her, I'm sure. I've decided to stop for now, not because I want to, but because I want to prove to my mom that I'm not an alcoholic.

I had planned on going to AA in order to continue living here, but she found my pot plants and decided that I'm not serious about quitting alcohol, so I am definitely out of here by the 6th. It doesn't make any sense to me, but whatever.


Andre is offline  
post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 11:22 AM
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,099

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Hopefully she didn't kill the plants...! It would be far easier to grow those on your own, so hopefully you can trans-plant them.
Slothrop is offline  
post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 11:26 AM Thread Starter
*
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,177

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


They're safe and sound.


Andre is offline  
post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 08:44 PM
SAS Member
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Posts: 152,972
My Mood: Angelic

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Rufus,

Doobie dobbie do....pot's illegal for you.
You are putting your mom's freedom in danger, too.

If there is a dependency.....a need for pot or alcohol "to take the edge off" or "get you through a rough time", then AA may be a good thing.

At AA, you will learn about what triggers the need to drink or smoke grass, address underlying needs, and have other people listen to you. You will release what is causing you pain and learn how to adequately deal with your problems.

God isn't such a bad dude, you know!

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is online now  
post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 10:05 PM
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,099

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
Originally Posted by millenniumman75
Doobie dobbie do....pot's illegal for you.
In a nanny state.

Quote:
You are putting your mom's freedom in danger, too.
Not likely.

Quote:
God isn't such a bad dude, you know!
Trying to make a recruit?
Slothrop is offline  
post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 10:57 PM Thread Starter
*
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,177

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


God doesn't exist in my world so the idea of him being "not such a bad dude" is moot.

Pot's illegal for me and everyone else in this country, and it shouldn't be. But that's for another topic.

AA won't teach me a damn thing, I am sure of that. Top ten reasons to run from Alcoholics Anonymous:
[youtube:2kt04fcd]I-pRv6sdsMI[/youtube:2kt04fcd]

And I'm not dependent on pot and booze.


Andre is offline  
post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 08:58 AM
kept in His hands
 
TruSeeker777's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Arizona
Gender: Female
Age: 53
Posts: 1,334

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


um, I wouldn't let a youtube video stop you from attending AA. Go to one meeting and make up your own mind. I've been to 12 step groups and they are nothing like what was depicted in that video. Also, there are alternative programs to AA; SMART recovery is one. I'm sure Google can assist you in finding others.

"no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted..." ~ aesop
Outcast Press - hope thru art -
TruSeeker777 is offline  
post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 10:08 AM
SAS Member
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Posts: 152,972
My Mood: Angelic

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
Originally Posted by Slothrop
Quote:
Originally Posted by millenniumman75
Doobie dobbie do....pot's illegal for you.
In a nanny state.

Quote:
You are putting your mom's freedom in danger, too.
Not likely.

[quoterg8ayhl]God isn't such a bad dude, you know!
Trying to make a recruit? [/quoterg8ayhl]

Nope - but one has to admit that He's gotten a really bad rap from people lately and it's not fair.

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is online now  
post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 11:01 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 5,322

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
God isn't such a bad dude, you know!
drunks are heathens, obviously.

faith is great. and im not trying to belittle its importance in battling addiction.

but addiction is an illness. and in most cases, addicts need the assistance of professionals to recover.

your comment about god smacks of self righteousness and moralizing.

"charge the enemy! and remember you are from old virginia." george pickett. july 3, 1863.
odun is offline  
post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 11:15 AM
SAS Member
 
BeNice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Coastal New Jersey
Posts: 6,162

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


He's not an alcoholic, people. If he is an alcoholic, then half the country is. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if some people actually believe the latter, just like they may believe that anyone who smokes pot has a problem because, well, it's illegal, so it must be really bad.

He just likes beer. His mom doesn't come from the world of drinking, so it's hard for her to understand. It's a pretty simple matter, really.
BeNice is offline  
post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
*
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,177

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
Originally Posted by TruSeeker777
um, I wouldn't let a youtube video stop you from attending AA.
I'm not - remember I said I was thinking of attending one to see what it's like. However, I've read a lot about AA and I know that a lot of people, including mental health professionals, are anti-AA for good reason.

And of course I'm not going for any supposed problem as I have stated before.


Andre is offline  
post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-21-2008, 02:28 PM
SAS Member
 
WinterDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,364

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


You are drinking/smoking Pot EVERY OTHER DAY until you PASS OUT.And your parents think that the problem is severe enough to warrant throwing you out of the house.It DOES sound like you have a problem to me.You did not mention how long you have been doing said behavior btw.And just because you are a 'mellow drunk', don't have the shakes the next morning, and don't get behind the wheel and 'drink and drive', does not mean that you do not have a problem.Here is a simple test, can you go for an ENTIRE WEEK without drinking and smoking Pot?

If you can't do it, then you do have a problem with alcohol to some degree.A.A. is not a cult, and you don't have to do anything but sit there and listen to other people talk about their problems.And for every mental health 'expert' who opposes A.A., there are a million such psychiatrists, therapists etc. who think that A.A. is beneficial for people that have problems with alcohol....

Go to an A.A. meeting, sit there for a hour, and just listen to some of the people talk about their problems with alcohol.You might find that some of their stories strike a chord with you.It's free, and all you have to do is sit there and listen.You have nothing to lose, and maybe something to gain by doing so.

Try to show your parents that you are committed to being clean and sober for a week or two, and are going to go to some A.A. meetings.If you can do this, then they probably will give you another chance, and not throw you out of the house right away.Something like that, is usually the LAST resort of concerned parents.Give it a try! Dave

The NRA, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon America.
WinterDave is offline  
post #16 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-22-2008, 11:43 AM
SAS Member
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Posts: 152,972
My Mood: Angelic

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
Originally Posted by odun
Quote:
God isn't such a bad dude, you know!
drunks are heathens, obviously.

faith is great. and im not trying to belittle its importance in battling addiction.

but addiction is an illness. and in most cases, addicts need the assistance of professionals to recover.

your comment about god smacks of self righteousness and moralizing.
The word is HUMILITY.

Alcoholism is self-medication, as is any behavior used as a coping mechanism or crush. I have coping behaviors, too - not good ones, but not reefer or booze. If there is a dependency on any of the above "to get by", "to get me through", and enough is used, then there is a problem. The focus needs to be on the trigger for such events and a more valid way to dealing with them.

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is online now  
post #17 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-22-2008, 02:05 PM
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,099

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
Originally Posted by millenniumman75
not good ones, but not reefer or booze. If there is a dependency on any of the above "to get by", "to get me through", and enough is used, then there is a problem. The focus needs to be on the trigger for such events and a more valid way to dealing with them.
Why do you assume that most people smoking or drinking are escaping from something? I smoke nearly every day and have no dependence on it, zero. After smoking 7-10 times a week for 4 months, I completely stopped for two weeks without any trouble, just that it took me longer to sleep at night. I use it because it virtually eliminates my insomnia. I can confidently say that weed has given me 3 hours of extra sleep at night by falling asleep at 1 rather than 4-5.
Slothrop is offline  
post #18 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-22-2008, 02:23 PM
She-Wolf
 
nothing to fear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 5,985

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterDave
You are drinking/smoking Pot EVERY OTHER DAY until you PASS OUT.And your parents think that the problem is severe enough to warrant throwing you out of the house.It DOES sound like you have a problem to me.You did not mention how long you have been doing said behavior btw.And just because you are a 'mellow drunk', don't have the shakes the next morning, and don't get behind the wheel and 'drink and drive', does not mean that you do not have a problem.Here is a simple test, can you go for an ENTIRE WEEK without drinking and smoking Pot?
at least half of the people i know my age (family members, friends, acquaintances) smoke pot every other or every day and i really doubt they all have an addiction problem. they all have a job and some do really really well in school and have normal social lives. it's a bit presumptuous to assume they automatically have a problem if they are just doing it because they genuinely enjoy it and not because they feel they have no control.
nothing to fear is offline  
post #19 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-22-2008, 11:29 PM
SAS Member
 
WinterDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Massachusetts
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,364

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Alcohol is far more addictive/destructive than marijuana.If a person says that they are using Alcohol EVERY OTHER DAY until they PASS OUT, and that their parents are throwing them out of the house because of said excessive use, then there does appear to be a problem.But like I said, if Rufus can go a week without ANY Alcohol and Pot, then maybe he doesn't have a problem.But when someone gets to the point where they are questioning their drinking, loved ones are complaining about their drinking, or they wonder whether or not to go to A.A., then the odds are about ninety percent that they DO have a substance abuse problem to a varying degree, and would benefit from A.A. or N.A.....

The NRA, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon America.
WinterDave is offline  
post #20 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-23-2008, 11:47 AM Thread Starter
*
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,177

Re: Parents think I'm an alcoholic


Pot isn't even the issue here. It's alcohol. I don't have anywhere to get pot at the moment.

The last time I drank was Monday. It is now Saturday and I feel no compulsion to drink. I'm also quitting my other drug, which I actually am addicted to. I've made posts regarding this other drug.

The only reason I would have gone to AA is to appease my mother, and to see for myself how cultist and stupid it is. It's too late for that now, because she thinks I am not serious about fixing my "problem."


Andre is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Alcoholic Parents My911GT2993 Frustration 17 03-29-2011 08:44 PM
are you an alcoholic? JustinT2 Coping With Social Anxiety 24 12-06-2009 09:56 AM
ALCOHOLIC PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!! embers Secondary Disorders 24 09-23-2007 10:28 AM
Am I an alcoholic if... BeNice Frustration 3 12-31-1969 07:00 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome