Negative Traits you Tolerate - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-20-2020, 01:09 PM Thread Starter
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Negative Traits you Tolerate


What are

1. Traits you consider negative, but you can still like people who have them?

2. Traits most people would consider negative, but you don't?

4. Traits you hate in yourself but can like other people who have them?

3. Traits you can tolerate in yourself but not in others?

5. The One Positive Trait (OPT) that if the person has it you forgive any other flaw they have?

---

You can answer only one or more, whatever you like.

Also, here's an image of a cat wanting your love because people think it's ugly



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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 01:22 PM
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That's a very strange little cat.

I can tolerate many things - I won't go into the details, I've had a son for 27 years and a wife for 31 years. When you love people you allow for things and try to find a way to deal with how it affects you personally. They have to do the same with me - so it's only fair.

I find it much harder with other people and will sometimes just cut them out of my life - I have enough problems already. It depends.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 06:41 PM
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Vanity doesn't usually bother me in others depending on their overall personality. If they externalise it, and start nit picking other people's lack of effort or finding it suspicious, than I will be annoyed. Like being forced into a competition you don't care about.

5 is difficult to answer, because I'm not sure there is any one trait that could do that. It really depends on the person overall.

I might update this post later.

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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 07:12 PM
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Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 12:42 AM
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1. Traits you consider negative, but you can still like people who have them?

Sometimes a quick temper. If they shout at me, and it'll surely depend on what, I usually won't shy away. But maybe I will.

2. Traits most people would consider negative, but you don't?

Tardiness.

4. Traits you hate in yourself but can like other people who have them?

Shyness. What can I say, I can't blame anyone for feeling shy and can certainly empathize.

3. Traits you can tolerate in yourself but not in others?

Laziness or just lack of taking responsibility for things, which doesn't exactly equate with laziness if one takes responsibility for it. I hate my own laziness.

5. The One Positive Trait (OPT) that if the person has it you forgive any other flaw they have?

Understanding

..yea, this was difficult to answer as our faults arent generally tolerated in other people if not in ourselves.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 03:56 AM
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1. Traits you consider negative, but you can still like people who have them?

Unintentionally offending others

2. Traits most people would consider negative, but you don't?

Social awkwarndess, over talkativeness.

4. Traits you hate in yourself but can like other people who have them?

Procrastination, Over sensitivity

3. Traits you can tolerate in yourself but not in others?

Pessimism, distrustfulness

5. The One Positive Trait (OPT) that if the person has it you forgive any other flaw they have?

Not a trait, but an action. If they do someone nice or sincere for me once, I tend to do the "all is forgiven!". It has numerous times made me an easy target for betrayal and manipulation in the past.

6. Now putting in my own bonus question.. Traits you hate, but most people do not seem to mind as much?

Arrogance, Short Tempered, Ambiguity, Not Detail/Clarity Oriented, Overly Critical, Self Centeredness. Although creating question 6 myself will mean I am self centered as well.

What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 04:29 AM
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1. Traits you consider negative, but you can still like people who have them?

Being ignorant. Idrc how smart/educated another person is. Kindness is far more important to me.

2. Traits most people would consider negative, but you don't?

Wanting impossible things; people who refuse to "accept reality". Daydreaming/being a dreamer.
Attention seeking. It honestly doesn't bother me when people fish for attention or show off. Take a million selfies, idc.

4. Traits you hate in yourself but can like other people who have them?

Laziness. I'm pretty hard on myself, but I don't expect anyone else to be that way.

3. Traits you can tolerate in yourself but not in others?

Being judgmental. I'm very judgmental of people who are themselves very judgmental. I have no plans to stop judging those people.

5. The One Positive Trait (OPT) that if the person has it you forgive any other flaw they have?

Not sure there's any trait like that, but the trait that will make me like a person the most is probably kindness toward children. Especially if they're not their own children (because I expect people to be kind to their own kids). Kindness is the trait I value most.

6. Traits you hate, but most people do not seem to mind as much?

"Everyone X." People who talk like everyone is more or less the same (especially if what they really mean is: the same as them). "Everyone is selfish", "everyone gets anxious", "everyone wants X", "everyone anything whatsoever". The differences matter, and I hate how glibly many people erase them. Hard to avoid talking like that sometimes, but a lot of people seem to enjoy leveling everyone to some common denominator.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 08:01 AM
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1. Traits you consider negative, but you can still like people who have them?

I'm probably gonna have to come back to this one later.

2. Traits most people would consider negative, but you don't?

Quietness. If you're quiet, I find that to everyone else you're like a blank slate, and they can believe anything about you. I've been seen as snobbish before because I don't talk much (as though they think that I think I'm too good for it. The reality is I greatly admire people who are talkative and would give anything to be comfortable and capable with verbal expression). Quiet people take the brunt of people's expectations and judgements, whether those expectations are positive or negative. On the reverse, some people think the best of me because I'm quiet, but that's uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I have to be perfect or I'm worthless which isn't true. I'm afraid of letting people down. I'm secretive around people, because I genuinely don't like myself, and I expect that same pattern of hostility from the world around me. In my mind, I couldn't be anything other than hated.

3. Traits you hate in yourself but can like other people who have them?

Self-centeredness. I'm more selfish than I like to admit. I've always been preoccupied with my own burdens, whether it be mental ones or physical ones. I fear giving my time to people, because I fear exhaustion. I've got my own burdens that exhaust me enough. But my username might indicate that haha.

There's an episode of the Last Airbender after Toph is incorporated in the group, she takes care of herself, but she hasn't learned to care about anyone else--that's probably me.

4. Traits you can tolerate in yourself but not in others?

Quick to rejection--in my fear of rejection, I've actually basically basically rejected people before I gave them a chance to reject me. Privacy, quietness, staying the hell away from people, are all my ways of staying safe and trying to protect myself from expectations and judgements. But that means that it's possible that I've traumatized people with the same rejection and disinterest that I internalized at some point. I sometimes worry I've made more people just like me in the world.

5. The One Positive Trait (OPT) that if the person has it you forgive any other flaw they have?

Acceptance, because this is at my core, probably what I want most. When I encounter people who truly don't mind me, they're proving to me that not everyone is as hostile as I think they are.

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