Yeah hi, thanks for sharing your story. I hope more people post their stories. Sorry about my name, I know you mentioned you love God. :P I understand and respect your point of view. Also, I love the Inside Out reference. It's my favorite movie.
Well, I always always shy even when I was a child. I loved only two things, drawing, and animals. I wanted to be a veterinarian my whole life. Even though I was shy, I was still "normal". I won an essay contest in school and spoke in front of hundreds of people. I played an instrument and performed to a concert audience many, many times. I played softball, and I was horrible at it -- but I freakin' loved it so I didn't even care. I was on the school's newspaper team. Life was pretty rad, but in early middle school, I got more shy. Girls started to make fun of me. I lost my friends to "popular" girls and all that kiddie BS. And I won't go into detail but these two kids publicly humiliated me in front of the whole school.
School got really rough. I was bullied every day and became extremely depressed and I was scared to go to school every day. I don't know what I ever did to anyone but everyone thought I was just weird. I cried and begged my parents not to take me all the time. I stopped going outside by myself, only to go to school. I quit every single thing I did (band, softball, karate, etc.) My grades suffered immensely as well. My mom let me skip school like, 35 times a year. In high school, I almost stayed back twice, but I had proof of having a mental illness (SAD). Luckily I would have 1-2 friends at a time, all of whom were amazing people. They got me through everything.
I stopped wanting to be a veterinarian. I wanted to be a writer, and then I wanted to be an artist. Throughout the years, I always stayed faithful to drawing and despite my bad rep, I was well known for being an artist. After I graduated (skipped the ceremony though), I took a year off to just work. I got my first job and made a lot of money (worked full time) but my job was horrible for SA and I suffered every day. Not working was not an option for me, my parents put the foot down when I was 18 on that. So then, I took one class at a time at community college and I changed my job to something that still sucked but I enjoyed way more. When I tried to start going to CC full time as an art major, I went there... and I was late. I could NOT walk inside of the room out of pure fear of everyone seeing me walk in late, so I didn't go to that class. Next class... I got a severe panic attack, went home, and dropped out of all my classes. I just couldn't do it. I thought SA had 100% taken over and I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I just went home and slept for days out of pure depression.
My life turned around when I started going to a psychiatrist and taking antidepressants. I bought my first car and went back to school full time. I got an entirely new job that I enjoyed better than the last one (and now I quit that and I'm in an even BETTER job). I started making friends in school and caught up with old acquaintances who became friends. And now I'm still an art major full time and I'm getting a great deal of extracurricular things accomplished. I feel more confident then ever.
I still stay on this site because I always liked having a single community to chat in, and despite losing 70% of my anxiety, I understand and resonate with a lot of people here because I have once (and sometimes still) deal with social anxiety. That's all!