Memories of Ex Friends - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-20-2010, 10:29 PM Thread Starter
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Memories of Ex Friends

We were suppose to be friends forever

At one time, we were considered good friends or best friends, now we don't talk anymore, we don't see each other, we missed many experiences together that could of happened. For me it was junior high- high school, something occurred and we became ex friends, but it does not mean I hate him. He just refused to have anything to do with me after an incident.

The question is: When these Ex Friends reminisce about the good memories they had that involved you, How do these memories make them feel? Just the fact that they kept these memories means it must of been something important in their lives, reminiscing on them must be like reliving the moment when he or she felt happy at that time when you guys were friends. They cannot permanently erase memories of you (if you were good friends) because you played a part in their lives, the memories are engraved in the brain FOREVER!

Do you think they look back and cherish the moments when you guys were friends?

And what about you? How does it make you feel when remembering good times with your ex friend?

I don't have friends, I am so lonely that I sometimes imagine myself still at the time when I had close friends, and it makes me smile. Sometimes I recreate memories, or create new ones with them using my imagination like I said. It's like we never changed. But reality kicks in and I get sad so I go back to the good memories with them because that what makes me happy.

I am stuck in the past, my life is that of the past, without the past there would be no present or future. The past is what defines who I am.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-20-2010, 10:53 PM
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I don't have any friends either.
In high school I did.There were two girls which I considered to be best friends back then.I talk to them occasionally and have met up with them a couple of times,but I don't consider us friends.Back then I just thought that they were friends with me out of pity so when I moved away I distanced myself from them.I did not see the effect this had on our relationship because I was too busy thinking that they didn't really like me.

I think they look back at our time together with joy,seems like it at least and we had a lot of good times,but one of my friends also made me feel like some mistakes she made in the past were my fault or that I contributed to them happening.I feel that this is quite unfair of her because I did not tell her to do those things.She seems to have some regret towards me and I'm not thinking this because of anxiety.It's things that she has said and expressed towards me.Makes me feel sad that she feels that way because she knows about my SA.
Looking back brings a smile on my face,we really did some wild and fun things,but also sadness since I don't have that anymore.
My social life was a lot more easy back then,I had people to do things with,talk to while now things are so hard sometimes and I have no one that's close to me that I can talk to and do things with.
Even online friendships are hard for me.I think I tend to distance myself from people and I'm having a hard time opening up.I always think that I'm bothering people,that they don't want to talk to me.
This is the hardest for me,establishing relationships with people that are healthy and good for me.

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-21-2010, 12:07 AM
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My used-to-be bff doesn't seem to like me much at all anymore. She doesn't trust me because I used to be very critical, and now she seems to act defensive around me. It's unfortunate because I am getting a little better, mentally speaking, and I could be a better friend now.

A friend I lost in high school is going to hang out with me this weekend (potentially) and I'm excited for that. I hope we have a good time, because she was a really nice person, and I miss her company.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-21-2010, 03:00 AM
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For some reason, I'm not good at keeping friends, although I consider myself to be a kind person. I've lost two friends and many acquaintances. But only one friend did I decide to break up with because he was abusing me (I laughed it off at first, but then I got sick of putting up with it). The others I basically lost touch with (they've all graduated). I have one close friend over the Internet, but sometimes he calls me names also, so I don't really consider him as much of a friend (in fact, we used to be ENEMIES before we became friends). He kinda reminds me of my old friend I broke up with, but he lives thousands of miles away, so I don't really care. My current best friend and I have been together for ages. But sometimes it feels like we're separating. Understandably, our personalities have changed over the years and we've gotten busier as we've grown older. We don't even spend the night at each other's houses anymore. We still get together once or twice a month, though.
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