Insecure about appearance - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 06:02 AM Thread Starter
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Insecure about appearance


I don't feel too awful about my appearance when I have a full face of makeup on. But it's so sad that I feel like I need makeup to be confident. Don't get me wrong. I don't look bad with no makeup, but I look like I'm about 15. (I'm 23.) And when I look 15, I feel like nobody takes me seriously. With makeup on I still don't look my age, but I look maybe 18 at least and I'll take that. I seriously am so fed up with this. Once I was lazy and went to the post office to mail something after putting no makeup on, not fixing my hair, and wearing my glasses (usually I wear contacts). The old man working made this rude comment to me like "what's a 12 year old doing at the post office?". I just politely said "I'm 23" and he said "ooooh you look young". I realized it's like a "self-fulfilling prophecy" though. I feel like on days when I don't care enough to put makeup on, I feel insecure about looking young, and as a result, I somehow act younger... Does anyone else deal with this sh**?
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 07:17 PM
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Well, not exactly. I'm an ugly weirdo who dresses like a bum, so people usually aren't too pleased about having to deal with me. I wouldn't say I'm insecure, exactly. I do often feel bad that my appearance bothers other people but I'm mostly apathetic because I've been this way most of my life.

I do what I can to make myself presentable but there's not much I can do without money for cosmetic surgery and a new wardrobe. I'm a healthy weight, have good hygiene, and wear clean clothes but there's nothing I can do about my face/teeth/hair/etc. or the holes in my clothing.

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 08:46 PM
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OP - you'll start to age soon enough, there's no need to be in a hurry for it to happen, believe me. I can understand your frustration though. One day you'll probably be glad you look younger than your age.
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 09:58 PM
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That's a really odd thing for him to say in the first place, why wouldn't a 12 year old go to the post office? It's not 18+ what an idiot.

But yeah, people interpret makeup as being more adult, so if you have young looking features you look older when wearing it. I remember I think just before I turned 18, my uncle said I looked like a 12 year old, so my aunt responded by pointing out that I probably looked older when 'going out and wearing makeup.' But I don't wear makeup, in general and 'when going out.'

I've always gotten comments from people saying that I seem younger then my age. I think also if you act anxious then it adds to the young vibe yeah. People do take you less/more seriously based on your appearance. You can counteract that somewhat with presentation and your personality and you don't need makeup to do that because I've managed that at certain points with certain people, but some people will continue to treat you in certain ways regardless because they actually want to undermine you and others just have this kind of mothering thing going on.

A couple of guys I used to know were discussing me and someone else at one point on Facebook (so I could read their discussion about me lol,) after one of the guys made a post I think complaining about the lack of women on our course and that we were lesbians. I think because I didn't respond to his vague flirting but anyway he then said he wasn't really into me because my chest was too small and the other guy who joined in disagreed with that point but said I seemed too young but the first guy disagreed because of my accent/way of speaking seeming intelligent. If people think you're intelligent than they'll usually assume you are older than you are. I've seen this happen with teenagers online with near-genius levels of intelligence as well (though it's obviously different in real life because of the physical bull****, but it seems it can still work.)

Also there was one night after a concert where for whatever reason I got asked by multiple people for a cigarette (so I guess I looked 18+ then,) and also had some weirdos try and make me jump randomly (I guess they were teenagers, very high school...) I don't know what was going on then but I was wearing a hat and a tanktop. Actually later on I put on a long sleeved top I had with me as well, so I don't know.

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-23-2019, 10:06 PM
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Yeah I can relate to this. Except I don't look younger without makeup anymore, just coked up. I also wear glasses which especially makes me want to wear a lot of make up, to not look like some nerd or whatever.

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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-25-2019, 01:51 AM
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It’s the opposite case with me. I’m 21 and I look way older than my age. I wish that I looked younger
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-27-2019, 04:21 AM Thread Starter
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Lol yeah exactly the post office isn't 18+. It would definitely help if I acted more confident/ sure of myself. Like when I was younger, I thought maybe when I reached a certain age my social anxiety would just go away... nope. At least it's better than it used to be.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-27-2019, 01:40 PM
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You'll regret wanting to look older. So long as you take proper care of yourself, you'll look younger than your age for a while. Make good choices while you're able to and screw if anyone says otherwise. Trust me, in a few years you'll feel the difference.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-27-2019, 02:14 PM
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Always looked about 35, when I was 15+ lol. Now I look younger than my age. Probably. Well, when slimmed down.

I was obsessed with appearance due to acne, bullying all of that **** until probably a few months ago.. I don't give much of a **** now, though.

Agree with other posters though, looking young comes into its own as you age.

Also, my local post office is *very* 18+. Some of the depraved **** I have seen in there would stagger the mind.

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 12:25 PM
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I look way younger than my age. I went to a place where I met an Ivory sculptor. I was in my early twenties. He thought I was still in High school.

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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 01:02 PM
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Yep, look young for my age. Get id'd all the time. Mainly receiving rude customer service about not having a passport on me. I'm almost 27. I hate the build up going to a shop

Hopefully as time passes this manifests into looking older. I take it as a compliment sometimes.

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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-29-2019, 12:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sanpellegrino View Post
Yep, look young for my age. Get id'd all the time. Mainly receiving rude customer service about not having a passport on me. I'm almost 27. I hate the build up going to a shop

Hopefully as time passes this manifests into looking older. I take it as a compliment sometimes.
You're a spring chicken.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-29-2019, 02:18 AM
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You're a spring chicken.
New to the scene.

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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-29-2019, 03:30 AM
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Yeah.. I've always been mistaken for younger and I didn't mind it when I was younger, but the older I get the more anxious I feel about it. Everyone else my age look so adult-like and I feel like I should too. A while ago a lady asked me if I had turned 15 yet, yikes

more issues than vogue
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