How many people do you talk to? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 12:45 PM Thread Starter
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How many people do you talk to?


How many people would you talk to on a normal day? Not typing on here or Skype or whatever but actually speaking to?

I talk to my wife every day - usually a few times and often just on the phone - and then it's usually just people I run into in the street/my building that I know, people in the shops, library etc. I need to talk to people or I start to feel like I'm going crazy - plus I need to start doing more.

Today my wife will want me to go up to her place and baby-sit her dog - so I suppose I could talk to him, gets a bit boring though.
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post #2 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 12:51 PM
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speak? I haven't talked to my friend in a few weeks or my ex in a few months I guess. but they're the ones. so 2. I say morning to a colleague every few days if that counts. and I say see ya and yup etc also

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #3 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 12:55 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by andy1984 View Post
speak? I haven't talked to my friend in a few weeks or my ex in a few months I guess. but they're the ones. so 2. I say morning to a colleague every few days if that counts. and I say see ya also.
Wow - that's pretty quiet. I know I'm probably different to a lot of people here, I need to talk to people.

Right now it's five to seven in the morning and I'm fighting the urge to call my wife. I'm so bored it's ridiculous. I need people around me. I think I might have to go to Bali again soon because I'm going nuts.
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post #4 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Wow - that's pretty quiet. I know I'm probably different to a lot of people here, I need to talk to people.

Right now it's five to seven in the morning and I'm fighting the urge to call my wife. I'm so bored it's ridiculous. I need people around me. I think I might have to go to Bali again soon because I'm going nuts.
I can't imagine what you talk about all that time. how do you come up with things to say or maintain interest?

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #5 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 01:06 PM
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5 to 10, depending on if I'm working that day, I live near 5 family members so usually talk to them everyday, we usually talk about the weather, this is how it goes.

ME: Jeez it's a bad day <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/orangeyes.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>

Other person: That's for sure &#x1f61e;

ME: I think it's giving it bad the rest of the week : /

Other person: Is that right <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/no.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #6 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 01:08 PM Thread Starter
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I can't imagine what you talk about all that time. how do you come up with things to say or maintain interest?
I never run out of things to say - I coud literally talk under water if I had to.

I'm not sure tbh - you just get used to it. There's always something to talk about. What's been happening for example, what someone's worried about, what they think about something, what I think about something (that can go on for quite a while if left unattended) , what the people down the hall have been doing, what sort of dogs have been walking down in the street (my wife likes dogs), what's happening at my wife's work - what's upsetting her or annoying her and how are we going to fix it/deal with it, when I'm next going to Bali (always a favourite), what my son's been doing, anything and absolutely everything.

It never ends - I can talk forever and get pretty much anyone talking.
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post #7 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 01:15 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
5 to 10, depending on if I'm working that day, I live near 5 family members so usually talk to them everyday, we usually talk about the weather, this is how it goes.

ME: Jeez it's a bad day <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/orangeyes.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>

Other person: That's for sure &#x1f61e;

ME: I think it's giving it bad the rest of the week : /

Other person: Is that right <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/no.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>
Come on mate - that's just not going to work.

I think I'd better come over there.
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post #8 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
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Plus I always have to have the TV on - and sometimes the radio as well. My wife used to get really sick of that. Party pooper.
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post #9 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 01:23 PM
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Nah I'm exaggerating with how bad the convos are <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/lol.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a> ...but it's surprising how some conversations do actually go like that ...I'm not great at talking, a bit awkward but I usually try to talk about other stuff.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #10 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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Nah I'm exaggerating with how bad the convos are <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/lol.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a> ...but it's surprising how some conversations do actually go like that ...I'm not great at talking, a bit awkward but I usually try to talk about other stuff.
I can actually be quiet - sort of. But I would have a lot of trouble if I had to stay quiet all the time. It's a problem - I have no idea what sort of work I could do if I tried to work again because I'd never be able to shut up - if I could actually get there/didn't have a migraine etc.

It's much worse when I'm manic - as I'm probably starting to get now. But then you don't just want to talk to people, you want to devour them. You feel so full of energy you feel like you could eat them alive.

Can be quite off-putting to some people I imagine and I'm sure I'd probably drive most people on here mad.
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post #11 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 02:15 PM
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I chat (over messages) about news daily with a friend.

Usually talk with one of my friends while playing. Not much more unless you count "hi" and "bye" with coworkers/classmates

"If you need a safe space, see a therapist" - Jordan Peterson
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post #12 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 02:42 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post
I talk to my father and or mother daily and to my dog(s). Every couple of weeks I see a friend(s) in a bar and we talk. That's about it most of the time. Next time I see my friend he is going to introduce me to his girlfriend so that will be new. Can't say I'm looking forward to it but it's ok because it will only be a brief encounter.
What kind of dog's do you have? My wife has a labrador - she loves dogs. We used to have a Golden lab and an Australian Cattle dog, but they both had to be put down over the last couple of years. I miss them actually, although they drove me a bit nuts looking after them when I was living there.

It's interesting that you say it's good because it will be brief - I'm the opposite to that. Although I do get anxious sometimes before meeting people and even during it occasionally. But I crave human interaction, like we were talking about before.

Maybe I need a new woman in my life again - although that would make it very complicated with my wife.
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post #13 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 02:44 PM Thread Starter
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I chat (over messages) about news daily with a friend.

Usually talk with one of my friends while playing. Not much more unless you count "hi" and "bye" with coworkers/classmates
My son used to play a lot of computer games - but I wouldn't really describe the way he communicated with them as talking. He was usually yelling or swearing at them, or laughing his head off. He was having a great time anyway. Got pretty loud though.
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post #14 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 03:53 PM
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It depends on the day really, I might see between 3-10 different people that I'll talk too, like if I go out shopping, through work, or go to a game night with friends, etc. I see family the most, when I visit my sister there's a bakery I like to stop by and I get us fry pies or custard bars. That place is dangerous, so many good smells its hard not to buy a bit of everything.
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post #15 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 04:31 PM
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My mother I talk to daily about news and life. Other people, maybe one person a week. Usually a cashier or checker to say the basic hello, how are you, I'm fine, thanks, have a nice day. I don't have conversations with other people because I get confused and stutter a lot.

[Everyone disliked that.]
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post #16 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 04:35 PM
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On a workday, I'm not sure. A lot - 30? 50? A lot of them aren't in-depth conversations: greetings, commands, giving permission for various things, etc.

When I'm not at work, I talk to my cat.

It is the light she longs to find,
When she delights in learning more.
Her world is learning; it defines
The destiny she’s reaching for

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post #17 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 05:38 PM
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On an average weekday when I'm working locally I talk to my girlfriend, one or both of my coworkers, a customer or two, if it's a gym day maybe a few people at the gym, and at least once a week I go visit with my mom. I talk to my cats every day and they talk back, I just don't speak cat unfortunately. Maybe store clerks when I'm shopping if I don't self check.

Weekends my girlfriend, sometimes my mom if we go by her house, my workout partner and other people at the gym that I know.

This week I'm out on the road. I really only talk to truck stop clerks or hotel clerks on the road. I bought a one day pass at a gym today and had to go in the office and fill out all kinds of info for that. That's unusual. Usually just pay and go. I don't really like talking on the phone, so I never really call anyone when I'm on the road. Girlfriend is fine with texting.
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post #18 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
I know I'm probably different to a lot of people here, I need to talk to people.
I'm the same way. I go crazy if I don't talk to people. The difference is, I don't feel safe leaving my house, and I can't talk to anyone in my family because they're crazy and make my life worse, so I don't get a chance to talk to anyone. That's why I'm here several times a day. I'd probably spend all my time talking to people online, but I don't really have time to because I have to work. So I just deal with being insanely lonely most of the time. Every time I've tried just not talking to anyone online, I never last for more than a day or two.

I live with my brother, but I can go whole weeks without saying a word to him, since he's a schiz mute and rarely leaves his room. Even if we do talk, it's never more than a word or two. Like, "Good morning." My crazy sister calls me all the time, but she just rants about her paranoid delusions and all I say is "uh-huh", "wow", "that sucks", etc. I never actually talk to her. I would never share anything personal with her. And I usually see my parents about once a month. They tell me about stuff going on in the family. I might say a couple hundred words altogether. Mostly about my health or how the writing/editing is going. I'd never tell my parents anything really personal, either. We don't have that kind of relationship.

I really don't have a single person I can talk to IRL and haven't for about 6-7 years now. But when I do have someone like that I can talk forever.

When I was working fulltime retail I talked to anywhere from dozens to over a hundred people a day, 5 days a week. Did that for 13 years.

The only thing better than money is more money.
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post #19 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 10:43 PM Thread Starter
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My mother I talk to daily about news and life. Other people, maybe one person a week. Usually a cashier or checker to say the basic hello, how are you, I'm fine, thanks, have a nice day. I don't have conversations with other people because I get confused and stutter a lot.
It always upsets me when someone says they have a problem with stuttering - I'm really sorry mate. That must make things so bloody hard - it's bad enough being anxious but not being able to get the words out would be horrible.

I don't know anything about it - so excuse me if I sound ignorant, but would it help to see a speech pathologist at all? I remember hearing many years ago how sometimes when people slow down the way they speak it can help a bit.
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post #20 of 97 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 10:50 PM Thread Starter
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I'm the same way. I go crazy if I don't talk to people. The difference is, I don't feel safe leaving my house, and I can't talk to anyone in my family because they're crazy and make my life worse, so I don't get a chance to talk to anyone. That's why I'm here several times a day. I'd probably spend all my time talking to people online, but I don't really have time to because I have to work. So I just deal with being insanely lonely most of the time. Every time I've tried just not talking to anyone online, I never last for more than a day or two.

I live with my brother, but I can go whole weeks without saying a word to him, since he's a schiz mute and rarely leaves his room. Even if we do talk, it's never more than a word or two. Like, "Good morning." My crazy sister calls me all the time, but she just rants about her paranoid delusions and all I say is "uh-huh", "wow", "that sucks", etc. I never actually talk to her. I would never share anything personal with her. And I usually see my parents about once a month. They tell me about stuff going on in the family. I might say a couple hundred words altogether. Mostly about my health or how the writing/editing is going. I'd never tell my parents anything really personal, either. We don't have that kind of relationship.

I really don't have a single person I can talk to IRL and haven't for about 6-7 years now. But when I do have someone like that I can talk forever.

When I was working fulltime retail I talked to anywhere from dozens to over a hundred people a day, 5 days a week. Did that for 13 years.
Yes, we're alike in that sense - I feel like I'm going crazy with not talking to enough people lately too. The problem with me for a while now has either been all the migraines when I stopped my bipolar pills (they came back full-force virtually every day) and now the mania's started again. So some days I'm just stuck inside here and it's driving me nuts.

I started a very low dose of the meds again mainly to stop the migraines (they do both) but I had to start very low because they give you a blinding headache too when you start them again. And then this morning I couldn't go anywhere - I haven't been outside since I started this thread, I got so bloody manic.

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist but I can't see her for a couple of weeks yet, and the GP's would just probably suggest taking my old meds (like I'm doing) until I see this new person. I'm really hoping she'll be okay.
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