Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: an accidental wilderness
Introversion runs in dad's side of family. But I was apparently a friendly toddler. Then, we moved countries twice: once when I was 5~6 (I adjusted ok, with some minor hiccups), second time at 13~14, halfway around the world into complete different culture. I couldn't even understand people's accents for the first little while, even though I spoke perfect English.
Parents were always judgemental snobs. I can remember their snide comments about my preferences in everything from food to friends since way back (offhand/unintentional ofc). Got scolded whenever I expressed any negative emotion (anger, sadness, etc.). Tears were treated with contempt. I didn't learn to allow myself to let it out and have a good cry until I was in my mid-late 20s. Other than that, they mostly left me to my own devices. I'm an only child. They never encouraged/signed me up for any activities (unless "Why can't you just be normal and make friends?" counts as encouragement...)
In summary, the second relocation ****ed me up and I never recovered from it. Culture shock was probably a big part of that, since I almost nobody here who is from where I grew up, and everything was foreign and overwhelming. That was when I began internalising a lot of **** (shame, self-blame, mistrust of everyone and everything. etc.), from a combination of not being able/willing to express my problems, and my mum pointing out all my social gaffes and commenting on my appearance whenever she got a chance.
I was also chubby and unattractive, and no opposite sex even noticed me until after I finished college.