No he didn't tell me, I wish he did. I have let him know in the past that he can text me any time he feels upset, but I'm past that right now it's okay he didn't. I don't want to put blame on him
I'm unsure about how influential my word is..my mom brushes it off a lot since she's the mother here. She's convinced I'm cured of depression also so it's as if I've forgotten my experience with it. With the attorney maybe I could make a difference, definitely my brother could because they're focused solely on the comfort of the child.
If I support my brother then my mom will be convinced she lost us as children, but my brother will be real upset if I support her idea.
She feels like she has total authority over him because she feels she understands him the most out of everyone, although she has many misconceptions about him. We're both intimidated by her in different ways and we can't really voice how we feel without her thinking we hate her and then her crying. so she ends up threatening to disown us and leave the state. (???)
I've never tried a letter. Maybe it could work, I'm just afraid of how she'll react. I think I'll do it.
Special sesson? I'm unsure what you mean. They went because of how he was feeling that day and because he was suspended 16 days from school, she wanted to reduce his suspension.
No, I'm sure he didn't mean this to happen when he didn't tell you. Sometimes you'd rather just not tell.
These are my thoughts on the issue: she's manipulating you with these threats. To resolve this, preferably you as her daughter, someone who she may listen to, will need to be stern with her and not yield. She either changes her approach, or you support your brother. I can understand you worry for her, but there's no sense in allowing an arrangement your brother hates, one which'll probably lead to an even more strenuous relationship between them, and no reason to tolerate this kind of behaviour from her.
In case you haven't, point out you haven't forgotten how depression feels; say these things. Sometimes people don't realize them, or they're being disingenuous to further their agenda. Saying these things will give you leverage. If she disregards your opinion, try to hold your ground.
I would write her the letter and explain clearly and bluntly what the issues are. I would mention you do not hate her but worry for your brother, who is intimidated and dislikes her approach, which she needs to change.
I see. I meant if they had a therapy session together with the help of which she could understand his reservations better. That might also be a good idea.