Gratitude - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 09:55 AM Thread Starter
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Gratitude


is the key to happiness


being thankful/happy for what you are having AT THE MOMENT.





what do you think?

personally, i truly believe it's the key to happiness.
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 10:09 AM
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For me it is, but I don't think everyone is capable of it - and I don't mean that to be insulting in any way. I mean, some people just don't have the capacity to enjoy what they have, it is just not an option for them and it has nothing to do with them refusing to. For example, I could be feeling sad, and have the ability to snap myself out of the depression by just living in the moment, and appreciating the really small things, such as the way the fan blows air across my face. I can manipulate the enjoyment of such a simple thing to encompass my entire body until it resonates with energy that puts me in an awestruck mood. That sounds absolutely nutty, but I don't see it as metaphysical - some people just can't do that.

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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 10:51 AM
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"A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the Bush" it might have fell out of the ugly tree & hit every branch on the way down, but it's all we'll truly ever have.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 01:00 PM
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Absolutely agree. Going through all the awful things I did before the age of 30 really helps me appreciate what I have now even more, too. I'm seriously grateful every day I'm alive, free, and healthy.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 01:00 PM
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I suppose it's part of it but I never think of it like that tbh. Plus I think if you've had a difficult or lonely life it's pretty hard to be very grateful.

I do actually have a lot to be grateful for - people that care about me, somewhere to live, enough money. But if I was living on the streets I think I'd probably feel a bit different.
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 02:28 PM
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They do say that positive thinking helps silence negative feelings.

I tried an app yesterday that is made to help regulate your emotions. It had me reflecting on things I was grateful for that day and also to focus on positive words in order to reduce negative emotions. And it helped in the moment. But at the same time I felt like I had a lot to be grateful for and a lot of good going for me...so I felt bad that I was letting this one situation Im going through have such a huge impact on my happiness and my well being. Ended up deleting the app. Sometimes people just need to be sad for a while.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 03:11 PM
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yes! my gratitude has been up, maybe 80% and happiness has gone up maybe 70% along with it

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ― Mother Teresa
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 04:56 PM
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 05:11 PM
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
For me it is, but I don't think everyone is capable of it - and I don't mean that to be insulting in any way. I mean, some people just don't have the capacity to enjoy what they have, it is just not an option for them and it has nothing to do with them refusing to. For example, I could be feeling sad, and have the ability to snap myself out of the depression by just living in the moment, and appreciating the really small things, such as the way the fan blows air across my face. I can manipulate the enjoyment of such a simple thing to encompass my entire body until it resonates with energy that puts me in an awestruck mood. That sounds absolutely nutty, but I don't see it as metaphysical - some people just can't do that.
that's so funny! what I underlined! it just sounded really funny but realistically I have gratitude in me too. I appreciate the small things bc it makes me happy, that's nice, appreciating the way the fan blows across your face and the cooling effect in hot weather.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 08:23 AM
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that's so funny! what I underlined! it just sounded really funny but realistically I have gratitude in me too. I appreciate the small things bc it makes me happy, that's nice, appreciating the way the fan blows across your face and the cooling effect in hot weather.

It really doesn't take much for me to be entertained I'm weird like that, I see people going nuts over trying to make everything perfect in their lives, so they can be happy.. and I'm just sitting here smiling like a moron because the fan is blowing a stream of cool air across my face

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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by zonebox View Post

It really doesn't take much for me to be entertained I'm weird like that, I see people going nuts over trying to make everything perfect in their lives, so they can be happy.. and I'm just sitting here smiling like a moron because the fan is blowing a stream of cool air across my face
That's funny - glad you're happy like that mate. It's great.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 03:18 PM
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Gratitude, like acceptance, love, and happiness itself, is something that happens to people, not something they directly control. You can't force yourself to feel something you don't feel. Some people have strategies that allow them to access a feeling like gratitude, but those strategies depend on the particular circumstances of their lives and their temperament and can't be directly replicated by others. If it were otherwise, if people could control their own feelings, there would be no unhappy people.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 03:22 PM
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Focusing on the positives and ignoring the negatives I would say.

It's fine to pursue happiness, and I realise people think I'm deluded for doing otherwise or incapable of it, but someone has to hold the elite accountable.

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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 04:45 AM
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Focusing on the positives and ignoring the negatives I would say.

It's fine to pursue happiness, and I realise people think I'm deluded for doing otherwise or incapable of it, but someone has to hold the elite accountable.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidpol/c..._for_antirich/

**** like this means they notice. Good.
In my 20s and mid-30s, I used to feel the same way, but then it just became too exhausting and I realized there was no real winning... even if I did win, I don't think the world would have been a better place, just another group of people would take over and screw everything up. It is one of the reasons I think the only real freedom any of us will ever experience, will be in solitude away from others. Alternatively, we could fundamentally change human nature, but I doubt many people would want that.

One of the reasons I can be happy is because of relative isolation away from people - even online I no longer attach myself to groups. There will always be some war or another, it will never end. One thing I find strange about human nature, and most group dynamics, is that there must always be an enemy. Having a common enemy is kind of like the glue that binds groups of people together, and once that enemy is gone, they will find new enemies, even if that is within their own group. I see that particular pattern everywhere, it is almost like an intrinsic behavioral pattern in every group.

And it never ends, never. There is always a boogie man lurking in a corner, always something to be fought. Me, I prefer my enemies to be virtual and drop 1337 1007 like gold, and swords, and well, magical robes

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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 05:02 AM
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That's funny - glad you're happy like that mate. It's great.
Not constantly though, while it is great to feel a natural high, I also like to experience a large range of emotions. Happiness is better than hopelessness, I think feeling hopeless is the only emotion I really dislike. Even sadness, I can be fond of, the right kind of sadness that is. Anger can be nice as well, so long as I am not consumed by it. My default emotion is usually curiosity if that could be considered an emotion.

I've grown familiar with my emotions, and have a lot of control over them when I'm away from people. Happiness is usually pretty easy to experience, for me it just is a matter of experiencing one thing I like, and manipulating that emotion to encompass other things. It is pretty cool too, the natural high makes everything seem so much brighter, but I don't think I would want to be in such a state of mind permanently. One thing I rarely experience anymore is boredom, and when I do, it is not for long periods of time, which is kind of cool

Being around people though, that throws it all out of whack. It is little wonder why monks and others seek solitude, at least to me it makes sense.

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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 06:17 AM
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Thankfulness and happiness are two sides to the same coin. Like how could you be truly thankful unless you are also happy, and if you are happy, you're likely considering something that you are thankful for. I think that a grateful attitude can be cultivated to a certain extent by practicing mindfulness.

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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 06:37 AM
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Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
In my 20s and mid-30s, I used to feel the same way, but then it just became too exhausting and I realized there was no real winning... even if I did win, I don't think the world would have been a better place, just another group of people would take over and screw everything up. It is one of the reasons I think the only real freedom any of us will ever experience, will be in solitude away from others. Alternatively, we could fundamentally change human nature, but I doubt many people would want that.

One of the reasons I can be happy is because of relative isolation away from people - even online I no longer attach myself to groups. There will always be some war or another, it will never end. One thing I find strange about human nature, and most group dynamics, is that there must always be an enemy. Having a common enemy is kind of like the glue that binds groups of people together, and once that enemy is gone, they will find new enemies, even if that is within their own group. I see that particular pattern everywhere, it is almost like an intrinsic behavioral pattern in every group.

And it never ends, never. There is always a boogie man lurking in a corner, always something to be fought. Me, I prefer my enemies to be virtual and drop 1337 1007 like gold, and swords, and well, magical robes
I get why you do that, and I also find it hard to be around people. It just seems sad that people should have to become totally schizoid and of course you know because you've mentioned this before I think, that if everyone does society really will collapse because society is a coalition. But you're right it does seem to require an enemy and I'm not sure a way around that. I feel like things have gotten worse and so it should be possible to at least get them to a slightly more stable point but I dunno. There's going to be so much suffering before we wipe ourselves out.

Cause before things break down to the smallest possible group they break down into tinier and tiner tribes which means fighting among more and more groups until you get to that point. And imo people can really only be individuals on their own in a perfect schizoid sense in the current system so we'll just start over from scratch again if society breaks down completely anyway.

The problem with changing Human nature is that there isn't a single Human nature so there's no consensus about what psychological traits should be prioritised.

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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 07:58 AM
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The problem with changing Human nature is that there isn't a single Human nature so there's no consensus about what psychological traits should be prioritised.
I completely agree, which is why we need to let the furbies decide for us

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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 01:30 PM
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Not constantly though, while it is great to feel a natural high, I also like to experience a large range of emotions. Happiness is better than hopelessness, I think feeling hopeless is the only emotion I really dislike. Even sadness, I can be fond of, the right kind of sadness that is. Anger can be nice as well, so long as I am not consumed by it. My default emotion is usually curiosity if that could be considered an emotion.

I've grown familiar with my emotions, and have a lot of control over them when I'm away from people. Happiness is usually pretty easy to experience, for me it just is a matter of experiencing one thing I like, and manipulating that emotion to encompass other things. It is pretty cool too, the natural high makes everything seem so much brighter, but I don't think I would want to be in such a state of mind permanently. One thing I rarely experience anymore is boredom, and when I do, it is not for long periods of time, which is kind of cool

Being around people though, that throws it all out of whack. It is little wonder why monks and others seek solitude, at least to me it makes sense.
I've noticed that in your posts before - that you prefer to be away from people and that that's when your happiest.

I'm glad you feel like you have control of your emotions - I certainly don't and I envy you. I'm also not at my happiest away from people - I feel a fairly constant craving for them, even though I know in many situations I'll feel on edge or much worse. I need people.

I sometimes have that natural high - it's nice when it's not out of control with me. I sometimes sit on a tram or train amongst a whole lot of people and I feel at one with them - it probably sounds a bit silly but I feel a powerful connection with them. I remember first feeling that when I was very young. But with me that feeling can get out of control very quickly and I can become manic. Not long ago I even woke up with terrible anxiety that actually turned into mania - it was so strange and gave me a fright.

I hate getting angry - because with me it becomes all consuming and I want to kill people. I literally want to rip them to pieces. In the past it's been pleasurable at first but it goes way beyond that feeling very quickly, so I avoid getting angry at all if I can.

I agree - hopelessness is the worst. I feel it through the night when I'm at my most lonely and afraid sometimes. It's usually gone in the morning though. I talk to my wife and realise I'm okay.

I'd say I have less control over my emotions at this point in my life than at any other - which is a bit of a problem.

Edit: I do have a lot of gratitude though. I'm grateful I'm still here, I'm grateful for my wife and my son and that I can be a part of this society at all - even though I occupy the fringes. I have an enormous amount to be grateful for.
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