Encounter at shoe store - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-23-2019, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
shyguy07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,591

Encounter at shoe store


So tonight I went to a shoe store in the mall to look at shoes. I was looking for Vans and there was a salesperson standing near them. He said "Hey, man can I help you?", but I said I was just looking. So he said "Gosh, way to make me feel useful." I didn't know how to respond so I just said, hmm. Then I walked to the back area to look at other kinds of shoes and he was standing in the aisle so when I passed by I said excuse me and he was like "You're fine dude"

Anyway, I just thought it was odd he responded at first like that. I thought maybe he was trying to initiate conversation or something. How would you have responded? It was a young guy like probably early 20s or late teens.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
shyguy07 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-23-2019, 10:23 PM
Dog Lover
 
Entrensik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Colorado
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 1,477
My Mood: Cold
“Gosh, thanks for wasting my time with this post”

Idk it doesn’t seem like a big deal. I would need to know the tone he used. Was he being sarcastic? Was he being serious? I need more details. Overall I wouldn’t make much of it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Live for the progress that you've made.
Entrensik is offline  
post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 02:21 AM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13,044
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy07 View Post
So tonight I went to a shoe store in the mall to look at shoes. I was looking for Vans and there was a salesperson standing near them. He said "Hey, man can I help you?", but I said I was just looking. So he said "Gosh, way to make me feel useful." I didn't know how to respond so I just said, hmm. Then I walked to the back area to look at other kinds of shoes and he was standing in the aisle so when I passed by I said excuse me and he was like "You're fine dude"

Anyway, I just thought it was odd he responded at first like that. I thought maybe he was trying to initiate conversation or something. How would you have responded? It was a young guy like probably early 20s or late teens.
Yeah, I think his initial response was weird. How many sales-people actually think you want them to come over and help you? Especially straight away. That would be very annoying. It's pretty much standard practice for everyone to say I'm just looking.

He should offer, then go away. If I want someone to help me I go and ask them.
harrison is offline  
post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 03:33 AM
Big Boo's Haunt
 
SuperSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Australia
Age: 30
Posts: 3,902
Sounds like he was trying to make a joke but didn't execute it very well.

**** you and your mandatory custom signature.
SuperSky is offline  
post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 03:43 AM
untitled document
 
Paul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: California Republic
Language: None
Age: 39
Posts: 6,125
Just sounds to me like he accidentally casually spoke his inner thoughts in a situation where he shouldn't have. It's perfectly natural for him to feel frustrated by people not wanting help, because it's what he gets paid for. Likewise it's perfectly natural for customers to brush him off not wanting to be helped or sales pitched. It probably happened dozens of times that day, and that time he let out a sarcastic jokey remark about it. Nothing to do with you really.

SA Game | Sacramento SA Meetup

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
Paul is online now  
post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 04:57 AM
Zodiac Sign: LEO!!!
 
KILOBRAVO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: The United of the Kindoms!
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,591
My Mood: Angelic
I hate when workers wander over and ask if you need help. No. I don't thanks. I think they're just trying to find out of you're gonna shoplift or not. It's maybe to see what your response or reaction is. A person likely to be planning to steal is likely to be edgy or nervous. Asking then such a question could panic them or put them off the theft. I've noticed They don't seem to do this in supermarkets tho.

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain-way vision bright and clear,
This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

___________
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down. I gotta keep on moovin!

If you can read this, you must look at my profile page. I like people who have attention to detail, and curiosity. Have a look, the lion's torso is on diplay :-p
KILOBRAVO is offline  
post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 05:10 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
shyguy07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Entrensik View Post
“Gosh, thanks for wasting my time with this post”

Idk it doesn’t seem like a big deal. I would need to know the tone he used. Was he being sarcastic? Was he being serious? I need more details. Overall I wouldn’t make much of it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
He sounded sarcastic, but the tone was really odd, as if he was talking to himself or something. I mean, I wasn't offended by it at all, but it did seem a little strange. Yeah, probably just a joke that came off wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Yeah, I think his initial response was weird. How many sales-people actually think you want them to come over and help you? Especially straight away. That would be very annoying. It's pretty much standard practice for everyone to say I'm just looking.

He should offer, then go away. If I want someone to help me I go and ask them.
Yeah, it was a little strange to me, which is why I posted. I imagine he was just tired of hearing the same thing all day. Plus there were few if any people shopping in the store, so it was probably really boring there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
Just sounds to me like he accidentally casually spoke his inner thoughts in a situation where he shouldn't have. It's perfectly natural for him to feel frustrated by people not wanting help, because it's what he gets paid for. Likewise it's perfectly natural for customers to brush him off not wanting to be helped or sales pitched. It probably happened dozens of times that day, and that time he let out a sarcastic jokey remark about it. Nothing to do with you really.
Yeah, that was kind of what I was thinking too, he just got tired of hearing the same thing. Also, he seemed like he didn't have anything to do, so he was probably extremely bored. I just wondered if maybe I should have tried to talk to him or something. I wasn't offended or anything, I just never heard a response like that before.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
shyguy07 is offline  
post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 07:03 AM
Half agony, half hope.
 
PandaBearx's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 2,386
He could've just been joking as well as bored. He's doing his job though wouldn't look too far into it. In retail you get used to people brushing you off or flat out ignoring you. Which isn't your fault, you're allowed to browse haha but I'm guessing he had a bit of a rough day & was trying to use humor as a way to deal with it.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
PandaBearx is offline  
post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 08:44 AM
Flying Backwards
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 27,605
My Mood: Relaxed
I have noticed more of these types of responses from employees at various places. I assume there's got to be something that's causing it. I don't know. Maybe the managers are pushing employees to be more helpful or to try and cajole the customers into buying something. I suppose retail stores are feeling a lot of pressure from internet and if you don't buy something or don't find what you're looking for, they fear you will leave and buy it online. Back in the day I only received that kind of "attention" from employees at small shops (Like radio shack or independent hobby shops). If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Businesses that are under pressure to sell stuff or else are going to be more aggressive. Back in the day, larger businesses were not really threatened by anything so they left casual browsers alone. Now they're feeling the pinch so you will get hounded in places you wouldn't have in the past.

------------

In case of emergency, my husk can be used as a flotation device.
WillYouStopDave is online now  
post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 09:21 AM
Duke Duck
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,230
My Mood: Goofy
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguy07 View Post
So tonight I went to a shoe store in the mall to look at shoes. I was looking for Vans and there was a salesperson standing near them. He said "Hey, man can I help you?", but I said I was just looking. So he said "Gosh, way to make me feel useful." I didn't know how to respond so I just said, hmm. Then I walked to the back area to look at other kinds of shoes and he was standing in the aisle so when I passed by I said excuse me and he was like "You're fine dude"

Anyway, I just thought it was odd he responded at first like that. I thought maybe he was trying to initiate conversation or something. How would you have responded? It was a young guy like probably early 20s or late teens.

Sounded like it was his first day on the job and he was eager to help out. Nothing serious.
DukeDuck is offline  
post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-24-2019, 02:36 PM
Estoylistoparalamuerte
 
SofaKing's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Someplace sofaking awesome
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,928
My Mood: Lonely
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSky View Post
Sounds like he was trying to make a joke but didn't execute it very well.
This...the OP is reading too much into the interaction. SA does that, though.

Quote:
“What if this is as good as it gets?” - Melvin Udall
SofaKing is offline  
post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-25-2019, 07:09 AM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Think he tried to make joke put of being pushed to try to sell to everyone that walks through the door. Perhaps it was a quiet day for them.

I avoid shops that have employees that pounce on you like this. If I MUST go in I choose a time when its really busy and just avoid the people that work there.

I think this situation highlights how SA works. People without SA would say they were looking and not think a second more about it. We over analyse everything. The chances are you will never ever see this person again and they will have forgotten all about you so stop worrying.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-25-2019, 07:12 AM
Gone and not returning.
 
Owlbear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,659
Could be very possible it was just two people with SA interacting awkwardly. Who knows, maybe the employee is a member of this forum lol
Owlbear is offline  
post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-25-2019, 12:35 PM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Quote:
Originally Posted by Owlbear View Post
Could be very possible it was just two people with SA interacting awkwardly. Who knows, maybe the employee is a member of this forum lol
Haha

I often think that when I've had an awkward conversation with someone. Only as I have gotten older though, in my teens and twenties I would always blame myself and be convinced I looked like an idiot.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-26-2019, 06:47 PM
SAS Member
 
aqwsderf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 185
He did an awkward joke. See it happens to the best of us 😂
aqwsderf is offline  
post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 08-27-2019, 01:44 AM
In Liquidation
 
Blue Dino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6,017
Probably felt rejected and it's his own self humoring way to joke to dissipate that feeling in a lighthearted way. Best to not take it seriously, especially given his approximate age. And someone you will unlikely ever cross paths with again.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
Blue Dino is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome