Do you get pressured to lose weight by others? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-20-2019, 10:08 PM Thread Starter
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Do you get pressured to lose weight by others?


I get it all the time
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 12:18 AM
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 12:36 AM
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If people comment on my weight it's usually to point out that I should eat more or that I'm skinny.

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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 02:32 AM
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Not by others but I put pressure on myself as I’m very self critical.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 09:54 AM
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I pressure my brother to lose weight.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 10:50 AM
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On the contrary. When I have lost weight, people tend to pressure in the other direction, because they are more concerned about their own consistent and unchanging world than your wellbeing.

Example, a friends wife compliments changing face, friend gets angry because "she is flirting". Friend then makes lots of ****ty comments. Friend gets dumped.

Or "you are looking almost too thin", says a woman obviously struggling with her own weight, in an attempt to not have someone lose weight that she can see (because it makes her feel **** about not being able to do it).

Typically, when you lose weight, expect people around you to passive aggressively try to stop you. They can't do it openly, but they ****ing hate it if they have weight issues themselves. They probably don't do it on purpose, but its their own issues leaking out.

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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 11:19 AM
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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
On the contrary. When I have lost weight, people tend to pressure in the other direction, because they are more concerned about their own consistent and unchanging world than your wellbeing.

Example, a friends wife compliments changing face, friend gets angry because "she is flirting". Friend then makes lots of ****ty comments. Friend gets dumped.

Or "you are looking almost too thin", says a woman obviously struggling with her own weight, in an attempt to not have someone lose weight that she can see (because it makes her feel **** about not being able to do it).

Typically, when you lose weight, expect people around you to passive aggressively try to stop you. They can't do it openly, but they ****ing hate it if they have weight issues themselves. They probably don't do it on purpose, but its their own issues leaking out.

Really?


The only time I got it for being thin was my aunt (bless her heart). I run the streets, as you know, and was quite thin and lean. 6'3" and 195....at age 27. For my build (Ah-nold's body type), that was lean. I remember my aunt grabbing my arm and asking if I was eating enough. Being that we were at a buffet, I did say that I eat all the time. .


Fast forward 17 years and 14 of them Paxilized and Paroxetined, I got the shock of my life when I weighed in at 250 - my heaviest. I had gained 6 pounds in the past nine months. He immediately told me to get off the medication and go to another one. I have been on blood pressure medication for "borderline high blood pressure" (I am only at HBP when I take a decongestant or two) for the last three years and still run the streets.


I have been fighting medication for so long that it started to work too well - I was lethargic and sleeping a lot, too.


I am currently wrapping up the first of three two-week stages of weaning off Paxil and onto Cymbalta.....and being cautious about what I eat. I have lost a pound or two in the past few weeks.

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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
On the contrary. When I have lost weight, people tend to pressure in the other direction, because they are more concerned about their own consistent and unchanging world than your wellbeing...

Typically, when you lose weight, expect people around you to passive aggressively try to stop you. They can't do it openly, but they ****ing hate it if they have weight issues themselves. They probably don't do it on purpose, but its their own issues leaking out.
Yeah, this has been my experience as well. Most of the people in my immediate family are very large. My weight is pretty much exactly where it should be. As a result, people are constantly asking me if I'm sick and/or eating enough.

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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 11:49 AM
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People used to try to get me to cheat on my diet a lot more, but after years of turning them down it doesn't happen as much now. My girlfriend just started dieting this year and she goes through the same thing. Friends and coworkers tell her the weight loss looks good and at the same time try to push sweets and junk food on her.
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
If people comment on my weight it's usually to point out that I should eat more or that I'm skinny.
Totally same goes for me lol.

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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 08:36 PM
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no one comments but me. I'm pretty far from having a flat tummy. and sometimes i get a bit bloated. skinny fat as they say.

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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 09:09 PM
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Yes, my mother is always pointing out that I'm overweight. I also pressured myself, so I did something about it.
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 09:15 PM
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My family are always telling me I look taller and like I’ve lost weight, even if I haven’t.

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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-21-2019, 09:28 PM
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No, but I get pressured to gain weight all the time. I don't get how people feel they have a right to dictate what others should do with their bodies. I see many things I don't like about people's appearances on the regular yet I still manage to act like an adult and keep my mouth shut.

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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-22-2019, 02:55 PM
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Nah, people used to push me to gain weight by eating junk food. Which always made me feel rather good. Then I gained a bit after I got in my late 20s. I've lost a little lately though, since I stopped eating fast food often. But nobody ever told me I looked fat or anything.

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-22-2019, 08:34 PM
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 10:30 PM
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I had a GP tell me I could lose some weight one time. I almost burst out laughing. I've been skinny all my life and had put on some weight because of the Lexapro I was taking at the time.

I kept trying to picture what my Mum would have said if she'd have seen me with a tummy - she would have been in hysterics.
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 02:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Mlt18 View Post
No, but I get pressured to gain weight all the time. I don't get how people feel they have a right to dictate what others should do with their bodies. I see many things I don't like about people's appearances on the regular yet I still manage to act like an adult and keep my mouth shut.
This. Although what you will find is that comments about weight, in fact, any comments about you are driven by their own insecurities and issues. Weight is especially telling though. I literally can't talk about things like losing weight around some people (who are overweight) because they visibly react to it. It's something they want to do but cant, so feel you are rubbing their faces in it.

In reality, its ridiculously hard for me, but its just less hard than the other regular life stuff other people can manage without issue, so I cling to it.

When people are making comments about your weight, they are, in reality, shouting from the rooftops about some of their own insecurities and mental problems. My advice would be to try to distance yourself from the comments, realise this, and quietly smile to yourself in the knowledge they just did the equivalent of telling you they struggle with issues around weight.

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I had a GP tell me I could lose some weight one time. I almost burst out laughing. I've been skinny all my life and had put on some weight because of the Lexapro I was taking at the time.

I kept trying to picture what my Mum would have said if she'd have seen me with a tummy - she would have been in hysterics.
Back when I was at my plumpest due to SSRI (and **** me, that has created so many problems for me now, once you get fat your body just wants you back there asap, it becomes hellish keeping it off). I remember a GP just being brutally cruel about my weight. They didn't even accept SSRI's caused that.

Honestly, doctors are really starting to piss me off atm. I am dreading my next psych appointment in a month. The promise of them actually helping will no doubt be cruelly unfulfilled. I need to go in there with a hardcore gameplan. Will get my psychologist to write something, maybe, too.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post

Back when I was at my plumpest due to SSRI (and **** me, that has created so many problems for me now, once you get fat your body just wants you back there asap, it becomes hellish keeping it off). I remember a GP just being brutally cruel about my weight. They didn't even accept SSRI's caused that.

Honestly, doctors are really starting to piss me off atm. I am dreading my next psych appointment in a month. The promise of them actually helping will no doubt be cruelly unfulfilled. I need to go in there with a hardcore gameplan. Will get my psychologist to write something, maybe, too.
Yeah, doctors can be a real pain in the arse Bob. I was on the Lexapro ages ago - must have been about 10 years ago now I think. I didn't mind too much at the time because it was necessary to get me away from the Xanax I'd been hooked on for so many years, plus it was actually working (in a way) - although the side effects were pretty ridiculous looking back on it.

As far as doctors and their skill-set, I just sort of take it for granted that most don't much about antidepressants or often medication in general. I can't remember the amount of GP's who've told me that Lexapro doesn't cause weight gain for example. It's actually almost funny - if it wasn't so serious. I've had psychiatrists tell me stupid things too. (Part of the reason why I don't have a shrink at the moment - it's just so hard to find anyone that's any good, plus I usually don't like them of course.)

I just have a whole pile of GP's I see - I sort of pick which one I'll see depending on what I want or what the problem is.
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 10:44 AM
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no, because even if i gained extra 20kg i would't look out of shape for a 90kg guy.

my genetics are either very good or very bad, nothing in between. i love the way my bones are placed and the way my body stores its extra fat whenever i eat in a non-human way. i have always eat like a horse tho. but there are times i go extreme with food. xD

i honestly love everything about my body, even my skin.
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