a question for women - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2019, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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a question for women

do you get annoyed/angry when you see another woman whom YOU think is really beautiful? especially when she is gifted with your dream body/perfect skin as well, not just her beautiful face? i mean when everything about her appearance is almost flawless?

does that make you really annoyed or angry?
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2019, 05:14 PM
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Not annoyed or angry. Just really envious, like damn if I looked like that I would be way less anxious. Not assuming she doesn't have any problems, just for me personally would feel like I would have less lol. But no, I don't feel angry or anything by it. There is no reason to. It's not their fault I have sh** genetics.

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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2019, 05:16 PM
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-18-2019, 05:20 PM
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It makes me feel bad about myself.

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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 01:07 AM
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I just get jealous...and then I get depressed.

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 01:14 AM
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There is this for men too, clearly. I feel it. I feel envious and inferior when I see a beautiful man. I know other men do too. Have an ex friend who used to literally hate men based on their looks.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 02:04 AM
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If that person was also a good person on the inside as well, I would be a little jealous (but not just about their 'flawess' appearance).

If that person was an idiot I wouldn't be jealous or angry, I'd just think what a tool.

This kind of reminds me about high school. You had the 'popular' people who were usually ****heads. But occasionally you have people that manage to be popular, are accepted in every circle but never moan or ***** about people and are also extremely beautiful. There was someone at my high school like that, she's a doctor now and probably an amazing one. Sure, I'm a bit jealous but mostly I just think about how nice she was and that she deserved it.

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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
There is this for men too, clearly. I feel it. I feel envious and inferior when I see a beautiful man. I know other men do too. Have an ex friend who used to literally hate men based on their looks.
Second this.

I get anxious around beäutiful women, men.

Mainly because had bad experiences with both as are judgemental about looks which makes me uncomfortable around them and some act cold, calculating.

According to them I'm not ugly (pretty boy), but before meeting me they thought I was ugly.

Kind of why I like dressing down bushman style, to take away the beauty and look more manly.

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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 05:08 AM Thread Starter
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you can consider me a naive person already, smart *** mode activated and everything

when you read the biographie of every single person who changed our history -even people like adolf hitler-, and focus on certain tiny details since their early childhood, there's always that feeling that keeps popping up, which is.. somehow things are meant to be that way, as if everything was planned even before they were born. their parents, the time and place where they lived, everything.

what i'm trying to say is that if you see that some people are having like a higher quality life, it's simply because yes, certain people are meant to shine.
the reasons why = i don't know. nobody knows. but there definitely are reasons that we don't know of.
you don't even know your own past and i mean by past "what you were before you were born".
i mean, of course you don't know about their "past" either.

it never ceases to amaze me how some people always knew exactly what they wanted to be since they were little children. yes they put hard work,etc, but again you look at certain details, you can't help but to assume their lifestory is meant to be that way even before they were born.
like when you see a little kid who is for no reason very much interested in planes and wants to be a pilot, although no one in his family is a pilot.. it coincides that environment/time/place/parents, all circumstances serve his dream and he becomes a pilot.

everyone is living their story. you are living your story and i'm living my story. why were you born as yourself in the west or in africa to those parents? have you ever wondered why your date of birth is your date of birth? why your story is your story and why my story is my story..nobody knows.. i'm only saying there are reasons that we don't know. the universe is crazy and is verry old. it is also very big xD
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 07:02 AM
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I get envious seeing people that are confident. Confidence is the ultimate sexy.

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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 07:54 AM
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So there was a girl who was my friend in teenage years starting from 10 (there were three of us) and every single day we were somewhere different boys and older guys would show her that they 're attracted to her and that they all wanted her to be their girlfriend. And this is just one girl, there were numerous of same cases everywhere, but I'm talking about her because we were spending the most time together.

At school I would be always called ugly by boys as if it was a big deal that I wasn't doing it for them and the purpose of my whole life was to be that and otherwise I'm not worthy of existence and my existence should be questioned and mocked all the time. There was one prick at the college I attended to who would pretend he likes me and say that I'm beautiful or something, that he wanted to marry me or something and all as if I was stupid and I believed him. For some reason people in general often talk to me like I'm stupid and can't understand that they're mocking me at all.

Males talk about attractive women all the time and it's not even a ''locker room talk'' (which is ~pRoBlEmAtIc~ enough already), but they just have to make sure everyone can hear this and girls live according to these standards. They think that commenting on someone's looks and evaluating them in public and so that this person could hear even though she's a stranger or someone they're not communicating or in relationship with. This is their perception of the world that, they think, revolves around them. But the culture does revolve around them (e.g. porn and all that sexism since the dawn of times. Historically women and children were property) so that's how they're getting that idea.

Nevermind being taught and socialized to do certain things as a girl and being viewed in that specific way as a girl by everyone. Plus the whole cultural context.

I guess, my point is taken and you can understand what my response to this question is. I guess, you're asking it for a reason too not just out of random curiosity.

You know, I would hate if my boyfriend would behave the same way (ogle women that are beautiful according to society's standards or any other women at all, staring at them, discussing other women in that way etc etc). I would no longer consider him a boyfriend. (Sometimes he does judge me according to standards he was having before me though and does see me in the way that is stereotypical and objectifying sometimes and it feels diminishing, but other things are good and he's not like that all the time).

P.S. Oh and btw I don't have a ''dream body'' (as in a body I want to have in my dreams) and ''skin''. These things only make sense in terms of society and men, but I didn't internalize the male gaze. Apparently you think every single woman has completely internalized it (of course, in your own words, not that you would agree with the male gaze thing cause for you it's just objectivity lol) because of the same mentality I was talking about previously (when they're commenting on women's looks in public in front of women etc)

Sorry for not currently replying to your posts addressed to me. I will do that later (hopefully in a few days) because now I can't Please, don't take it personally because you have nothing to do with it.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 08:06 AM
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Yes. And if they are smart and accomplished on top of that it makes me want to die.

Could it be that this condition comes from some kind of subconscious narcissist personality that I cannot outward acknowledge but subconsciously demands me to feel “superior” to others?

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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 09:18 AM
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I am prone to bouts of jealousy as much as the next person, but I've also been finding this has a lot of merit:

"Another woman's beauty is not the absence of your own"

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 09:33 AM
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Just physical appearance alone, no.
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 09:42 AM
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Not really, I check them out. If they have nice hair, wearing something cool etc. If they're nice people I don't feel the need to judge but if their attitude is awful, like anyone else, il just think "oh go to hell." Idk beauty doesn't make me feel inferior.

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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 02:21 PM
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I mostly want to look like certain guys, but it's not just appearance it's mostly the overall character if I think they're cool. Always fictional or famous. It seems to be based partly in attraction because I'm somewhat autophilic (this also seems more common with queer people anyway like being both attracted to someone and wanting to be them. It's a weird sensation and I never know quite how to describe it in words,) and so also as time has gone on and I've become more apathetic about such things, I also get this less I think.

It will happen with female people sometimes (again famous/fictional,) probably to a milder degree I thought Proxima Midnight seemed pretty cool, and also Emilie Autumn's aesthetic/attitude. Seems less about attraction then, though I imagine there's a small amount all the same especially with Emilie Autumn she's very close to being my type with the whole carnival/edgy alt thing and slightly androgynous femme appearance, but some things about her beliefs etc put me off.

Anyway do I feel angry? Not about that/them no, but it's probably because my desire to be like them isn't stemming from the stuff that makes people annoyed and maybe there's less direct envy/competition too (at least with physical stuff.) I certainly get upset reading about what people are attracted to sometimes if I don't have that characteristic so that's the kind of thing that will trigger me not just seeing someone attractive or who I admire. Likewise sometimes reading erotica or like an awareness/reminder of stuff I can't do physically bothers me.

Not sure if this post makes sense but yeah.

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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 08:56 PM
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I get more envious of people's social abilities. Like I wish I could just socialize normally instead of like rambling on like a meth head about insects or some other mundane topic that nobody is interested in hearing about. Of course, I'm not a woman. I just felt like posting.

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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 09:43 PM
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Angry and annoyed? No. I don't get mad at people for being more attractive. Every woman I've ever known has been more attractive. I can't be angry at all of them. I experience a fair bit of envy, but I envy people for all sorts of things, not just their looks.

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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-19-2019, 10:29 PM
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Originally Posted by truant View Post
Angry and annoyed? No. I don't get mad at people for being more attractive. Every woman I've ever known has been more attractive. I can't be angry at all of them. I experience a fair bit of envy, but I envy people for all sorts of things, not just their looks.
lol, I thought the underlined above was funny
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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 08-20-2019, 06:33 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by SorryForMyEnglish View Post

P.S. Oh and btw I don't have a ''dream body'' (as in a body I want to have in my dreams) and ''skin''. These things only make sense in terms of society and men , but I didn't internalize the male gaze.

wow i thought when a woman wears makeup for example, she doesn't necessarily wear it for society or for men as you mentioned, it's simply because she's a female.

i mean she could spend time wearing makeup although she isn't even planning to leave the house.

of course both genders care about how they look, but for the human female it's more than just that.. she always wants to look pretty/cares about "her body", even if no man is going to see her.

well, at least that's what i used to believe until i saw your post.
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