My life never got better - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 11-25-2019, 07:05 AM Thread Starter
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My life never got better


I used to post on another social anxiety forum back around 2005-2009. I used to talk to a lot of people and even met up with some of them in person.


They all moved on a lot time ago. They got in relationships and got married.



Here I am at 31 and nothing has changed. If anything my life has only got worse because of my mental health.



I am sick of it all and feel lonely everyday now
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 11-25-2019, 08:04 AM
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mine got better for a little while and then much worse and then much better and then worse again and then better and then worse. it's been going along at worse for a while. it might get better? it feels like that's over though. nothing has really gone well for the last 3 years. it was my choices that brought me here though, and my many limitations.

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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 11-25-2019, 10:49 PM
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Yeah, my life just gets worse every year. At this point, I'm not even hoping for improvement. I'd be happy if my life just didn't get worse.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-12-2019, 10:54 AM
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Same. I sort of dated someone for a few weeks 4 years ago, at least I have that memory.
other than that... i can't think of anything good.

"In a sense, we all are crashing to our death from the top story of our birth to the flat stones of the churchyard and wondering with an immortal Alice in Wonderland at the patterns of the passing wall." ~ Vladimir Nabokov
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-13-2019, 09:43 AM
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You're still young. My life didn't start getting better until my late 40s, and only after I started making improvements to my physical health (nutrition, weight loss, exercise). It's almost as if the mind was only willing to change for the better after the body had done so first. The mind and body work in a synergistic manner, and I believe that you cannot better one without also doing so on the other.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-20-2019, 06:06 PM
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Nothing doesn't get better unless you find a way to change. When I was a teenager I thought living a normal life of job, friends, car, gf, marriage and kids would just happen all by itself but now I'm older I realize I need to make that happen myself. With anxiety and lack of motivation in the way it's all an uphill battle and each passing year goes by faster than the last and makes me feel more and more pathetic.
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 01:20 PM
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As I get older thigs keep getting worse.Things have been a little better lately but scared will get worse.
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffyblackcat View Post
I used to post on another social anxiety forum back around 2005-2009. I used to talk to a lot of people and even met up with some of them in person.


They all moved on a lot time ago. They got in relationships and got married.



Here I am at 31 and nothing has changed. If anything my life has only got worse because of my mental health.



I am sick of it all and feel lonely everyday now
Same here. I was very active on a french forum back in 2007. I even exchanged pictures with a girl and we would chat a lot. She even wanted to meet with me. But my SA was so bad back than, that I couldn't even take the train to go meet her. So it ended as a flop.

But I somehow felt better. Because I would actively talk to people on forums. I would sometimes go out with school friends.

Since I graduated and started to work everything went from bad to worse. I have zero social life. And I have to hide it from people at work.

The only thing that improved is my financial situation. My family is working class and poor. I was always the poorest in school. Now I have enough money to do whatever I want. Sadly, I have no one to do anything with. And going out by myself is a pain.

Everyone moved on. Most of my "old friends" got married and no longer give a **** about me. Even if they wanted to meet with me I couldn't face them in my current situation.

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2019, 02:15 PM
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stay active man try do as much as u can to stop thinking about it and a good whole food diet no crap good luck
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 01-25-2020, 09:06 PM
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I think I stopped believing I would get better when I was 19...i my early 30ís now, cíest la vie
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 09:07 PM
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I got better, then worse, then better, then worse, and now I'm getting better again.
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 01-30-2020, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffyblackcat View Post
I used to post on another social anxiety forum back around 2005-2009. I used to talk to a lot of people and even met up with some of them in person.


They all moved on a lot time ago. They got in relationships and got married.



Here I am at 31 and nothing has changed. If anything my life has only got worse because of my mental health.



I am sick of it all and feel lonely everyday now
I hope things get better.

I sought therapy for the second time starting in the summer of 2015. I've been in it ever since. it has helped in general and been a venue to express feelings and darker thoughts and embarrassing thoughts.

Starting in late 2017 I started exploring speed dating events. In 2018 I began with dating apps. not "much" progress since then but it's been incremental. I hope to get better at seeking out companionship. I'm a 46 year old virgin, never had a girlfriend. But I have finished college-- twice at this point. So I hope for better opportunities in the future. We'll see.

"With great power, comes great responsibility"
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-01-2020, 06:34 PM
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I recently turned 40 and I have less hope now than I ever have. No friends, no hobbies, never dated or had a boyfriend, no independence because I don’t drive and I am forced to rely on others for rides, my job sucks, the city I live in is depressing beyond words and I continue to fall deeper into apathy and depression because of these things (and others). I am currently seeing a therapist and he is really the only person I can talk with candidly about my issues. I feel no one else knows or cares.
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 09:24 AM
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I recently turned 40 and I have less hope now than I ever have. No friends, no hobbies, never dated or had a boyfriend, no independence because I donít drive and I am forced to rely on others for rides, my job sucks, the city I live in is depressing beyond words and I continue to fall deeper into apathy and depression because of these things (and others). I am currently seeing a therapist and he is really the only person I can talk with candidly about my issues. I feel no one else knows or cares.

If you could go back in time would you have done anything differently?


I'm 31 and also have no friends. In fact I haven't had any friends since 2012. I have a hobby which keeps me sane but keeping up with it can be a chore sometimes. Had one single relationship a year ago, but it is difficult to meet women without much of a social life. Having a job I hate is my worst fear and I'd rather work retail or do supply teaching than get locked into a terrible office job.


I hope things get better for you soon.
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 09:36 AM
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Things have improved somewhat for me. Can at least get a date and carry on a somewhat normal conversation nowadays. Could not do that in my teens or early 20's.

Reminds om of this song that says you wont ever be lonely. Not quite true for everybody.

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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 04:29 AM
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If you could go back in time would you have done anything differently?


I'm 31 and also have no friends. In fact I haven't had any friends since 2012. I have a hobby which keeps me sane but keeping up with it can be a chore sometimes. Had one single relationship a year ago, but it is difficult to meet women without much of a social life. Having a job I hate is my worst fear and I'd rather work retail or do supply teaching than get locked into a terrible office job.


I hope things get better for you soon.
Thanks. I think the biggest thing I would have done differently...get away from this awful place I live and be independent. I have never lived anywhere other than my home town and it is probably the biggest regret and disappointment I have experienced. There isnít much opportunity here and it is not a friendly place to be. I was far too naive for much of my young adult years and that is also something I regret.
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 04:35 AM
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My life gets better the further back I look.

Which is to say that if things are supposed to get better as time goes by, that works backwards in my world.

/WYSD
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-07-2020, 04:23 AM
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Starting in late 2017 I started exploring speed dating events. In 2018 I began with dating apps. not "much" progress since then but it's been incremental. I hope to get better at seeking out companionship. I'm a 46 year old virgin, never had a girlfriend. But I have finished college-- twice at this point. So I hope for better opportunities in the future. We'll see.
So how has your experience with speed dating been? I have been doing that as well. Great way to meet people you would never meet in your normal day to day life and also get experience talking to women
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-07-2020, 09:34 AM
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@sabbath9 , I like your spirit!


Let's burn some rich people and then we can talk about 'mindfulness'

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 02-11-2020, 07:02 PM
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So how has your experience with speed dating been? I have been doing that as well. Great way to meet people you would never meet in your normal day to day life and also get experience talking to women
it's a mixed bag. my social anxiety has been challenged, but I still go to them. But I have yet to get an ongoing dating relationship with anyone. No kissing or cuddling yet. And definitely no sex.

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