Laments of a 41-year-old virgin - Page 24 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #461 of 469 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:03 AM
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I've been to football (soccer) games on my own before and it's generally been ok, although I do feel a bit awkward sitting so close to people I don't know.
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post #462 of 469 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 09:24 AM
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went to a baseball game by myself last week. The team failed miserably, 10-1. But the general experience of just being there was fine. I was glad to be able to be there for once. Lots of women walking around, largely with kids, buddies, significant others, etc. Whether or not anybody was "single and available" I have no idea. But like I said, it was decent enough just to be there instead of sitting at home.

Good job getting out of the house. That is the first step. Now you have to be able to start up conversations with random women / strangers. That is the difficult part and it was for me. Its the fear of rejection you have to conquer and its not easy to do.

Im a lot better then I was at talking to people but even this morning I was at the store and saw a attractive woman with no ring on. Should have approached but chickened out. Tough issue to solve
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post #463 of 469 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 10:07 AM
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Just start by being more social in general and then focus in.
I have noticed that people are more approachable to me.....since I appear less occupied with my thoughts!

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post #464 of 469 (permalink) Old 09-26-2019, 09:32 PM Thread Starter
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another baseball game today. And I went to my first speed dating event in about 10 months.

I think it went well in terms of the general interactions. I was glad to get out of the house and to an event to meet women. This was a "30s and 40s" meetup, so everyone was in the general age range.

I have no idea whether any of the women I met are interested. I was at least nominally interested in most of them, at least at the friendship level. My official results will be in a few days

I don't know if it's realistic to try and have a girlfriend or "get to first base" by the end of the year, but we'll see.

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post #465 of 469 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 09:30 AM
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another baseball game today. And I went to my first speed dating event in about 10 months.

I think it went well in terms of the general interactions. I was glad to get out of the house and to an event to meet women. This was a "30s and 40s" meetup, so everyone was in the general age range.

I have no idea whether any of the women I met are interested. I was at least nominally interested in most of them, at least at the friendship level. My official results will be in a few days

I don't know if it's realistic to try and have a girlfriend or "get to first base" by the end of the year, but we'll see.
Great job going to the speed dating event like I suggested. Its good experience and practice talking to women. So even if their is no match its good for you. Ive got to meet a few fun women that I have dated and had a good time with at speed dating events. But still I get rejected by 80 percent of them. Its a numbers game. The one good one you meet makes up for all the more rejections.


Do you think the experience from speed dating will allow you to talk to women more comfortably now?
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post #466 of 469 (permalink) Old 10-09-2019, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
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Great job going to the speed dating event like I suggested. Its good experience and practice talking to women. So even if their is no match its good for you. Ive got to meet a few fun women that I have dated and had a good time with at speed dating events. But still I get rejected by 80 percent of them. Its a numbers game. The one good one you meet makes up for all the more rejections.


Do you think the experience from speed dating will allow you to talk to women more comfortably now?
... three matches in the aftermath of the event (out of 13 women). I've followed up by email, then for those who have shared their phone numbers, by phone. it's tentative, but we'll see how it goes if I get to have any one-on-one meetings with them.

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post #467 of 469 (permalink) Old 10-09-2019, 09:56 PM
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... three matches in the aftermath of the event (out of 13 women). I've followed up by email, then for those who have shared their phone numbers, by phone. it's tentative, but we'll see how it goes if I get to have any one-on-one meetings with them.

Nice job. 3 Matches is great. Not sure I have ever had 3 matches. Hopefully they are all women you really liked. Now you have to get them out for a regular date? Got any ideas what kind of date you will take them out on?
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post #468 of 469 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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.... career-related gut-punches this week. Several desirable jobs I applied for sent me rejection letters; two of which I at least got to attend interviews or an in-person testing session. Sigh.
I hope this doesn't affect my demeanor if I can finally have some in-person meetings with these women. Avoid work-related talk, that's for sure.

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post #469 of 469 (permalink) Old Today, 07:30 PM Thread Starter
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Fortunately things went well. I made reservations at an area restaurant. Food was good. "Nora" is friendly. I still don't know "exactly" how old she is but I guess she's roughly in my age range, 40s-ish.
I guess from beginning to end it was about 90 minutes before dinner was clearly over and she excused herself for the evening.
I got to know a little more about her, and I revealed a little more about myself.
I tried to avoid any awkward silence by "improvising" and starting talking about some random thing.
I guess I was fairly comfortable around her.

At a "looks" level, I'm not blatantly attracted to her. But I went into this hopefully being able to develop new friends, at least. So we'll see how it goes.

I'm just glad that I managed to avoid any blatant foot-in-mouth moments or anything that would be glaringly embarrassing.

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