Is this a step?? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 02:20 AM Thread Starter
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Is this a step??


I’m in mid 30s. Isolated.

Today

I decided to activist my old fb. Decided to email an old friend of mine whom I ignored. Got a response. Left a comment on an old buddy on his fb. Asked a question to a store clerk. Went to a park and someone said a couple of things, I responded back and a short exchange. Felt a bit of anxiety so I Kinda shyed away from further exchanges.

All these caused me a fair amount of anxiety discomfort and stress.

Am I doing the right thing? Is this good? I have no idea. Everything’s pretty difficult and challenging for me for about past 5 years or so.

Id like to have some exchanges and interact with people hoping one day it won’t be such struggle...
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post #2 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Justjunk View Post
Iím in mid 30s. Isolated.

Today

I decided to activist my old fb. Decided to email an old friend of mine whom I ignored. Got a response. Left a comment on an old buddy on his fb. Asked a question to a store clerk. Went to a park and someone said a couple of things, I responded back and a short exchange. Felt a bit of anxiety so I Kinda shyed away from further exchanges.

All these caused me a fair amount of anxiety discomfort and stress.

Am I doing the right thing? Is this good? I have no idea. Everythingís pretty difficult and challenging for me for about past 5 years or so.

Id like to have some exchanges and interact with people hoping one day it wonít be such struggle...
Yes! Awesome job. We have to face our fears to overcome them, and this is how you do it.

I like this oft quoted Stoic saying...

"The Obstacle Is The Way"

You're doing good. Keep at it.
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post #3 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 03:36 PM
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It's definitely a good idea to get out of your shell a bit. As you say yourself you actually want to have a few interactions with people.

Make an effort to get a few interactions every day. Also socialise on this board. It helps you get back into the swing of things.
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post #4 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 11:12 PM Thread Starter
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Today I’ve cleaned up my bathroom a bit. I’m trying to fix my bad diet habit and kept it up good. 2nd day of eating clean.

I went to two different parks today. I like the vibe of the park. I saw some couple of attractive ladies and gave me a bit of excitement. I guess I’m not dead inside after all. 2nd Park I went I actually initiated and asked a question about this persons dog. A guy also made a fun comment when we almost bumped into each other. It feels different in a good way when my focus is actually trying to push myself to interact more.

Oh also I forgot. I got a message back from an old friend of mine and she agreed to chat with me on a messenger app
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post #5 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justjunk View Post
I’m in mid 30s. Isolated.

Today

I decided to activist my old fb. Decided to email an old friend of mine whom I ignored. Got a response. Left a comment on an old buddy on his fb. Asked a question to a store clerk. Went to a park and someone said a couple of things, I responded back and a short exchange. Felt a bit of anxiety so I Kinda shyed away from further exchanges.

All these caused me a fair amount of anxiety discomfort and stress.

Am I doing the right thing? Is this good? I have no idea. Everything’s pretty difficult and challenging for me for about past 5 years or so.

Id like to have some exchanges and interact with people hoping one day it won’t be such struggle...
Yes! Awesome job. We have to face our fears to overcome them, and this is how you do it.

I like this oft quoted Stoic saying...

"The Obstacle Is The Way"

You're doing good. Keep at it.
Thank you 🙏
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post #6 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 11:15 PM Thread Starter
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It's definitely a good idea to get out of your shell a bit. As you say yourself you actually want to have a few interactions with people. <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>

Make an effort to get a few interactions every day. Also socialise on this board. It helps you get back into the swing of things.
Definitely! What’s a good way to socialize on an online forum??
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post #7 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 04:00 AM
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@Justjunk Well, you are already doing it.

Post in the threads and just join discussions. It's going to be like IRL. There will be good interactions, not so good interactions and some boring ones

PM-ing people also works (for more personal interactions). Just don't expect to develop personal friendships. People with social anxiety tend to not be great at that. Lots of people on this board have commented on the difficulty of cultivating actual personal friendships. Some people have met up IRL though. Just don't expect too much in that regard.
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post #8 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-06-2020, 10:17 PM Thread Starter
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Today. I did not go to the gym but worked out at home instead. I’ve been messaging back and forth with my old friend. Also left a comment on one of my old buddies on fb.

I’ve maintained clean diet.

Didn’t do extra cleaning today.

But I went to another park I haven’t been to and exchanged several small talks with one person.

There was one attractive girl that was Near by and sitting, but I felt too shy and scared to talk. Didn’t know what to say. But I still felt pretty good that I’m actually even thinking about talking to a stranger lady.
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post #9 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-07-2020, 10:29 PM Thread Starter
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Today I cleaned up the house a little more.

Continued to message my old friend.

And hit up another old friend of mine and we had a long chat for about an hour through phone.

Went to one of the parks i went yesterday. I initiated a convo with a guy I haven’t seen before and we had long convo.

Also saw the guy I’ve met the day before and had several exchanges.

I noticed a lot of times my anxiety gets the hold of me and leave me feeling awkward and uncomfortable and start giving me exaggerated thoughts that doesn’t serve good purposes. So I tried to imagine of those thoughts being cleaned out. Like taking a shower to clean up dirt.
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post #10 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-08-2020, 10:50 PM Thread Starter
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Been continuing with clean diet.
Continued talk with my old friend thru fb messenger.
Added a couple of old friends on fb.

Went to parks I went yesterday. Met one of the dudes I’ve been seeing there. Exchanged some small talks and got to know his name. And had a small talk for the first time with a kid I saw a couple of times there before.
Said something to a girl there. Too shy and scared to engage in small talks tho with females still.

Let’s keep going.
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post #11 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-09-2020, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
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Not as eventful as other days. But did some new things.

Didn’t go to a park today so there weren’t many exchanges with others.

The friend I’ve been talking with thru fb messenger, perhaps fizzled out, we didn’t have any exchanges at all today.

But I texted another old friend of mine, and a couple of exchanges. Good to know there’s someone who sort of understands my situation.

Besides that it was just a short exchange with workers at restaurants and a gas station.

Oh and I wrote some gratitude journal log today. And did some extra yoga.

Been keeping up with good diet. Daily exercise at parks past few days and clean diet, I’m starting to see more definition in my physique.
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post #12 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-10-2020, 07:44 PM Thread Starter
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Got the courage to finally go to the gym. Had some exchanges with the coach and my training partner.

Continued to exchange a bit with my old fb messenger friend.

Had a stressful thing happened that put a halt to my day, so I’ve been just resting so far.

Diets still clean. Trying to take it easy so my stress hormone will settle back to normal.
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post #13 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-11-2020, 06:09 PM Thread Starter
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Woke up feeling still stressed from yesterday. It takes a while for my stress hormone to settle down back to normal.

I didn’t expect much today when it comes to socializing opportunities. But surprisingly and overwhelmingly more opportunities presented themselves.

Went to the community pool, had a short exchange with maintenance and had a longer exchanges with one of the neighbors.

Also I got the courage to talk to one of my old friends ex wife through fb.

Then I went to a restaurant to get some food and got to have a good conversation with the worker there.

Felt pretty excited and nervous at the same time.
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post #14 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-12-2020, 09:07 PM Thread Starter
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Woke up feeling tired as hell but dragged my *** to the gym. Because I didn’t wanna miss the social opportunities. Turned out I did the right thing. I had lots of interaction with the new coach, one of the guys I met and another new guy I haven’t met before. I was getting hang of just chatting with people.

I continued to message my friends thru fb and started Instagram as well. It feels like a lot of work at times but I wanna continue to improve at it.

I also requested a couple of more people
on fb and ig as well.

Also I’ve been communicating with an old buddy of mine here on this forum through messaging
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post #15 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-15-2020, 12:12 AM Thread Starter
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Yesterday morning I exchanged greeting with one of the moms from neighborhood.

Then went camping. Greeted and small exchanges from strangers here and there.

Today went bike riding around the beach and had to stop by several shops because I needed a couple of things. Lotta small exchanges with people. I saw many attractive ladies I wanted to talk to but still intimidated. But I’m starting to gear up and got pretty excited about this whole social thing.

Oh also I got to exchange DMs with a couple of old friends through IG.
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post #16 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-15-2020, 07:41 PM Thread Starter
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Wasn’t so eventful today when it comes to actual interaction.

Just continued interactions through ig DM and being more proactive on IG mainly.

Had another stressful thing happened. I’m thinking about taking it easy until my stress hormone balance goes back to normal.
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post #17 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-16-2020, 10:03 PM Thread Starter
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Hmm today i went back to the park I’m used to. And some shops here n there. Only small talks. Not much of long convo with anyone today. I’m still trying to connect more with ig. But wasn’t as active today. I had a good time at the park though.
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post #18 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-17-2020, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
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Tired waking up in the morning and I didn’t wanna go to the gym but it’s good I did. I initiated conversation and dropped in many times with the coach and a newcomer. Enjoyed it. Getting better and getting my weird wacky sense of humor back.

A few exchanges with a worker at auto shop cuz I needed to get my oil changed.

I’m physically tired today from getting little sleep and waking up early for the gym.

Continued exchanges through ig dm with a few of my friends
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post #19 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-18-2020, 09:20 PM Thread Starter
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Wasn’t so eventful today. Besides small exchanges with restaurant workers and grocery store worker. Not much interaction.

Continued to keep in touch with regular ppl on Ig and hit up some new ppl on fb messenger
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post #20 of 68 (permalink) Old 08-19-2020, 09:55 PM Thread Starter
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Today unexpectedly went well. I had a short exchange with a neighbor then some exchanges with maintenance. A call with a manager.

Went to a beach, I saw an attractive mom with a baby and I initiated a small talk and her husband(?) I think. Something i usually wouldn’t do. So I was pretty stoked about it.
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