I think it's too late for me
Since I turned 30 last year I just feel like it's too late for me to get moving. Things were still going ok as far as socializing, but then the friend I was closest to changed a lot and we kind of drifted apart from since 2016. Like 2008-2012 and then 2014-15 we hung out all the time. Then around 2016 they changed a lot and wanted to start dating, so we didn't hang out much anymore.
Then they met someone else and they got engaged, then she moved in with them. I feel like I can't interrupt him ever. We rarely ever meet up anymore. I've only been to his house twice in nearly two years. A few weeks ago I asked if he wanted to meet up later in the week but he had something going on. Like almost all the time he's doing something now. And since the pandemic he's been engaged, took a vacation to another country and also went parachuting twice. I feel like he's just too busy to hang out anymore. And I have nobody else that I feel comfortable around.
But now I feel like he's too good for me. Because he's part owner of his family's company, now knows a lot of people (through his fiance) and he has a brand new really nice house.
I just feel like dirt compared to him. Not his fault of course, but I just feel like I'm not nearly as good.
Also, I was going to church again this year, but then the pandemic hit and they stopped doing services except for virtual ones. But when they went back to regular services I haven't been back in months. My social anxiety has gotten worse because I haven't been around people as much other than work, and now I'd rather stay home than have to go to church and be around a lot of people every week. And I never got to know anybody really.
I'm also thinking I'll never get into a relationship. I was hoping I might find someone at church but most of the girls were too young for me so there didn't seem to be any prospects.
Since I'm 30 I'm thinking most all of them are already married and have kids, especially since church girls tend to marry early.
Really in a way I've enjoyed being home but my social skills have definitely gotten bad. It used to help that I'd go to a restaurant alone sometimes and just be around people, but then I couldn't even do that. If I went now there wouldn't be as many people around.
I don't know what to do. I've always had a hard time keeping friends. Like I'm in contact with nobody at all from high school or college. I just go to work and go home.
Also I still live with my parents which is a bit embarrassing. I'm hoping to save up for another year or two and then buy a house. But obviously if I end up finding somebody and get married then having a house would be pointless, or they wanted to live somewhere else. So it feels like I might be putting the cart before the horse.
I also feel like a woman would hate my hobbies because I like to collect and work on things so I'm sure I'd have to get rid of everything to find anyone.