Originally Posted by Maslow
First you have to accept everything about yourself -- the good and the bad. When you can't accept something about yourself, the result is anxiety and sometimes depression.
This seems to be where I get stuck. I think I've forgiven the people who either damaged me or who should have helped me atr some point when I was a kid and not responsible. My treatment by others, and I mean overt things like abuse or bullying, was never really a big issue for me.
So the causes of my limitations aren't typically other people, or specific things that they've done. My problem is me. I struggle to accept the things about myself that hold me back, and I struggle to accept my difficulty accepting things. My head is spinning.
I have some relatively minor money problems, so don't read this literally. But I'm reading a book with a section about a couple looking for a house. They can't afford the houses they want, and they can't want the houses they can afford. They've made decisions that require them to buy a house now, so options like saving a little more don't work. So they're miserable.
Again, I'm not talking about money
. I'm talking about the way life is sort of like a market. Your intelligence, personality, looks, health, and motivation are sort of like capital you use to make your life work. It seems like motivation makes up for any lack of anything else, if you just accept those things you're lacking. I don't lack much, but what I don't have bugs the hell out of me, and I pay a price every day for being so bugged. That drains me so much that I might as well not have any talents or traits that I could use for my benefit. I'm left emotionally poor, and unable to "afford" the life I want, or to want the life I seem to be able to "afford".