Do you think you are dumb/stupid? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 11:33 PM
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I have some kind of problem with my memory that makes it really hard for me to remember proper nouns (like people's names) and facts (like dates). It made passing exams all but impossible. That's why I dropped out of school. But otherwise, I'm not a stupid person. Being smart has never really done me any good, though. I guess it lets me enjoy reading some stuff other people might find boring.

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post #22 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 11:40 PM
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I was definitely behind the pack in terms of maturity and knowledge in childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. I was vaguely aware of it too, and it just gave me more reason to be reclusive. No idea how I stack up now, don't get much human interaction beyond a superficial level.
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post #23 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truant View Post
I have some kind of problem with my memory that makes it really hard for me to remember proper nouns (like people's names) and facts (like dates). It made passing exams all but impossible. That's why I dropped out of school. But otherwise, I'm not a stupid person. Being smart has never really done me any good, though. I guess it lets me enjoy reading some stuff other people might find boring.
I have trouble with names, too--even names of bosses and co-workers, which made for really awkward situations for me when I worked regular jobs. And I can't remember names of movies, or actors' names, so I can't describe movies worth a crap when I'm trying to socialize.

Every once in a while, though, I experience clarity, and can think like normal people. I wonder if it's ADHD or something.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #24 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 07:15 AM
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Im sure your not stupid or dumb. When you have anxiety going out of control its very difficult to think clearly. Your making decisions based on fear and anxiety not rational choices and decisions. When you get your anxiety under control you will think more clearly and be more intelligent.
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post #25 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
I have trouble with names, too--even names of bosses and co-workers, which made for really awkward situations for me when I worked regular jobs. And I can't remember names of movies, or actors' names, so I can't describe movies worth a crap when I'm trying to socialize.
yeah and recognizing people, at least for me. I've often had people recognize me and expecting me to recognize them, and I'm like thinking "I have no idea who you are". Unless I saw the movie yesterday or many times I ain't having much conversation about it. If you took 200 people under the age of 70, I would be a strong favourite to have the worst memory of any of them. People complaining of memory loss after a stroke still have a better memory than me.

I've tried everything imaginable to try to improve it. Like everything. And nothing does much good. For example I do at least some HIIT and resistance training every day, eat everything you're supposed to, tried all kinds of nootropic substances, tried reading a lot, tried watching tv a lot and remembering the episodes/characters later (as like practice for when I need it), I tried social meetup groups - because you know how for older people they say socializing helps prevent cognitive decline, brain training games. The only thing that I really think has any effect is the HIIT and resistance training, that's backed up by studies.

I don't know why it's so bad. I never had learning problems in school though I did struggle a bit sometimes in highschool/university and the only reason I did decent is because I didn't really have any life. I went under general anaesthetic when I was 14/15 and I always wonder if maybe I was accidentally deprived of oxygen or something during that time, because that can happen and lead to permanent memory loss. I also underwent it at least twice previous to that to get adenoids out, I really wish I hadn't as any of them might have caused memory loss as well, I think that should be illegal.

The worst thing is when some incident happens, then a few months or maybe years for a bigger incident, and I forget it either completely or forget the details. And other people can see this and they don't know or understand why I didn't remember it. Like that's what happened and this is when it happened, why don't I remember it. Why don't I remember the person's name I spoke to.

I'm going to a neurologist as a final roll of the dice but 99.9% sure he will find nothing and have no way to improve anything, especially since I already had a MRI a few years ago where nothing showed up.
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post #26 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 09:37 AM
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I think I'm smart but when I'm anxious and in the moment I can say stupid things which I'll regret. I hate people talking to you hurriedly or in a bad mood. Sometimes I stammer which I hate.

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post #27 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 09:56 AM Thread Starter
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yeah names and faces are hard for me too. It's weird it looks like judging from most comments it's all related to anxieties
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post #28 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 12:42 PM
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I don't think I'm dumb/stupid, but people treat me like the lowest thing on earth. Whenever I ask a valid question IRL, I get the most condescending responses. Curt and dismissive is all I ever get. And then they're respectful, thorough, and "worshipping" to the next person, depending on that person's look/vibe.

I'm not Ivy-educated, with multiple degrees, like most people in my area. I'm only educated at an underrated Public Ivy.

I'm too depressed/anxious/ADHD to really do anything, though.

I know a lot of useless facts about everything and anything.
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post #29 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 12:48 PM
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My brain farts so many times, I got to work hard to keep it on track.
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post #30 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
I have trouble with names, too--even names of bosses and co-workers, which made for really awkward situations for me when I worked regular jobs. And I can't remember names of movies, or actors' names, so I can't describe movies worth a crap when I'm trying to socialize.

Every once in a while, though, I experience clarity, and can think like normal people. I wonder if it's ADHD or something.
Yeah, not being able to remember names makes small talk really difficult. Easier just to avoid talking. I don't follow news/politics for that reason. I can't remember any of the people involved.

I have a list of the names of the people in my family on my phone so I can refer to it when I have to. It's embarrassing to not be able to remember things like your gf's name, or when your own birthday is, both of which have happened multiple times.

It's not noticeable online because I can look everything up before I type anything, but it's a conversation killer IRL.

Quote:
Originally Posted by typicalanimal View Post
yeah and recognizing people, at least for me. I've often had people recognize me and expecting me to recognize them, and I'm like thinking "I have no idea who you are". Unless I saw the movie yesterday or many times I ain't having much conversation about it. If you took 200 people under the age of 70, I would be a strong favourite to have the worst memory of any of them. People complaining of memory loss after a stroke still have a better memory than me.

I've tried everything imaginable to try to improve it. Like everything. And nothing does much good. For example I do at least some HIIT and resistance training every day, eat everything you're supposed to, tried all kinds of nootropic substances, tried reading a lot, tried watching tv a lot and remembering the episodes/characters later (as like practice for when I need it), I tried social meetup groups - because you know how for older people they say socializing helps prevent cognitive decline, brain training games. The only thing that I really think has any effect is the HIIT and resistance training, that's backed up by studies.

I don't know why it's so bad. I never had learning problems in school though I did struggle a bit sometimes in highschool/university and the only reason I did decent is because I didn't really have any life. I went under general anaesthetic when I was 14/15 and I always wonder if maybe I was accidentally deprived of oxygen or something during that time, because that can happen and lead to permanent memory loss. I also underwent it at least twice previous to that to get adenoids out, I really wish I hadn't as any of them might have caused memory loss as well, I think that should be illegal.

The worst thing is when some incident happens, then a few months or maybe years for a bigger incident, and I forget it either completely or forget the details. And other people can see this and they don't know or understand why I didn't remember it. Like that's what happened and this is when it happened, why don't I remember it. Why don't I remember the person's name I spoke to.

I'm going to a neurologist as a final roll of the dice but 99.9% sure he will find nothing and have no way to improve anything, especially since I already had a MRI a few years ago where nothing showed up.
My memory is pretty normal aside from proper names and numbers/dates, I think. I can remember faces usually, even if I don't remember their name, and I remember a lot about my childhood. But if you can't attach a name, it's almost impossible to talk about, so it seems like I don't remember things, or that I'm not very bright, even though my comprehension is good. It made exams very difficult for me, because even if I understood the material, I still often couldn't answer the questions. By the end of high school I was failing all my courses even though I spent a lot of time studying. I couldn't have made it through university.

I am a big fan of neuroplasticity, though, so I'm going to try to find some kind of creative workaround.

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post #31 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-20-2019, 08:47 AM
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I don't remember faces sometimes (along with names) and some people think I'm being rude to them when in reality, I just don't remember that I know them. (Although it was with people I barely knew) So then, they'd treat me with animosity, and then I'd remember who they were and try to be friendly, but by then, they hate me, and the situation gets worse and worse and they turn other people against me, which makes me anxious and a target for bullying, so I wind up not being able to do the things I like to do and everybody hates me, so I just stay at home and post on SAS.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #32 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 06:00 AM
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Yes, definitely. It doesn't help when my boss is condescending toward me a lot of the time either.
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post #33 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 08:05 PM
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You need to listen to this podcast, its about how emotions and anxiety, specifically social anxiety can make us 'dumb' or 'stupid' - the guy who does the podcast is a socially engaged artist whose also qualified in psychology and also had socially anxiety which he talks about allot in his podcasts. Its really worth listening to.

https://play.acast.com/s/blindboy/c9...6-e70f1cfa9427
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post #34 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 02:59 PM
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Mathemagicians are evil!
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post #35 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 03:05 PM
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I'm to stupid to know & to dumb to care 😞






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #36 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 05:45 PM
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