Do you think you are dumb/stupid? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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Do you think you are dumb/stupid?


I do

It must be my main problem. It's this thinking that leads to me feeling inferior on every level, leading to SA/insecurity, leading to an incredible shyness. It's this thought that keeps me from going out the house, from looking for work, keeps me from socializing. My fear of failure can't be overcome, I tried often but it aways comes back with a vengeance.
What I need is brain surgery, rewiring.
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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 07:14 PM
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I definitely have trouble thinking clearly a lot of the time, which makes me appear stupid. Every once in a while, I can think clearly, like maybe a few times a month. That's probably how most people feel all the time.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 07:57 PM
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You certainly don't need surgery. What you need is the right help, therapist, and support to help you work through your underlying issues.

The problem is your unhealthy belief that you feel you are inferior and worthless. A trained anxiety disorder specialist can help you to work through your underlying beliefs/factors and make healthy behavioral change.

I used to feel just like you, but I got better once I got the right help. Social anxiety is very rarely a problem for me anymore because my thought life is much healthier and my body is less stressed and symptomatic (brain fog, memory, fatigue, etc) because I'm not worrying all the time and thinking negatively.

I'm telling you - when you think in unhealthy ways, your body RESPONDS physiologically, psychologically, and emotionally.

If you'd like more info on how to find the right help, let me know. You can recover, I can assure you. I used to be exactly like you - my anxiety disorder and depression were so deep my wife left me because she said my mental health issues were making her miserable. I understand the pain and suffering. But I also understand you can change and get better. I'll be praying for you.
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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-09-2019, 09:29 PM
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Yeah. When I was young though I had an Illness that messed up my brain and I basically had to start over on a lot of basic kindergarten education in junior high. Had to relearn abc's, days of the week, months. Had a lot of trouble with sequential and mathematical thought as well as language/communicating. Basically, it was where my SA began too. I'm better now, but going through that hurt my confidence in my ability/intelligence. I'm also afraid to work because of it. I still feel like parts of my brain have never quite healed. .

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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 05:07 AM
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The medication I took/take causes confusion and mild memory loss. Plus I'd say my mental health in general has declined as I've gotten older - so I often have trouble thinking clearly. I certainly wasn't dumb when I was young and I don't think I am now - I just get confused.
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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 12:14 PM
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In many ways? Yes. All the ways that matter. Anything that is required to have a normal life is intellectually beyond me and always has been. Like to me, working a normal job and paying bills and getting up on time and going to bed on a schedule? That **** is straight up impossible to me. I literally just can't do it.

I'm a complete moron at math. I always have been. The last time I did anything successfully in math was when I memorized the basic multiplication tables in like 3rd grade or whatever. Literally. My math comprehension has pretty much never been above 3rd grade and obviously never will be. I feel like there could not be anyone more stupid than me in that area.

I pretty much can only ever think about anything on the most basic level. As soon as things get complicated? Nope. I'm done. I've tried to force myself into complicated **** many times and it just doesn't happen. People don't believe me when I tell them I can't really fully learn things. They're like "You will get better at it if you try". Nope. Basic anything is usually pretty easy so that creates the illusion that I can learn. Move up two levels from basic and that's all it takes to expose me as a complete moron. And then they piss me off with that "Well, if you keep telling yourself that, that's why" garbage. So I pretty much keep it to myself. I just let people go on thinking that I'm capable of more than I actually am because they wouldn't believe how stupid I actually am if I told them.

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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 12:49 PM
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I know alot of trivia and information on a surface level, usually things from hearsay or something I read about online due to constant internet browsing, which may cause someone to think I'm smart when it is more closer to being some sort of pseudo-intellectual. I remember I was called smart alot in high school, but I never understood why...Was it just because I was hard working and quiet? The reality is I'm years behind my peers from living so reclusively, so there's no real way I'd even know much of anything about anything. I'm just regurgitating third-party information I gained from sites like Reddit that I could never discuss in depth. It's something I noticed with the interactions I had in a group project involving political discussions recently and it feels quite pathetic. The most I felt I could contribute was very surface-level statements, "I heard this/I heard that/I saw online that" etc. If someone asks me what it meant I'd get stuck and choke up.



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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 01:57 PM Thread Starter
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@WillYouStopDave and AffinityWing what you 2 said feels very recognizable to me.
Also when I think I know about something and I try to explain it to someone I can't find the words. Light years ago in high school people thought I was going to become this very successful guy, I never understood why they thought that. Even when I had mediocre grades people still thought I was smart! I still remember people coming up to me for advice explanations, I couldn't help them, some thought I didn't want to help them, which was not the case.

Maths... I don't think I passed my math exams once in all my years at school, I received tutoring it barely helped. You can't imagine how nervous I am when I need to pay something, I can't count, in a bar or restaurant with other people I just can not figure out how much I need to pay. I remember one time I bought 3 beers and I gave a 5 euro tip (the tip was almost more than the cost of the 3 beers...) to the waiter :-S I only realized this a minute later and I didn't have the balls to tell him I made a mistake. So I acted like money was no problem for me :-S. Another frequent thing that happened to me is when I pay a waiter he often asks me if I have let's say 20 cents or so (so that it's easier for him to give back money) I always reply no because I have no idea how much he is supposed to give in return. No matter how hard I think about it I can't figure it out. It's basic counting, basic logic, for me it's rocket science.

@RoadToRecovery I'm happy for you but I'm beyond repair...therapy? How would I pay for that? I don't believe in it anyway.
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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-10-2019, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conantheworthless View Post

@RoadToRecovery I'm happy for you but I'm beyond repair...therapy? How would I pay for that? I don't believe in it anyway.
Why do you think you're beyond repair? You think you're beyond repair because you truly believe You are dumb and stupid, and perhaps other untrue beliefs too. These unhealthy beliefs are driving your thoughts and actions. Change your underlying beliefs and you will see change in your thinking patterns. Help is available. Oftentimes it's our belief that we are beyond repair that holds us back.

Again, inused to be just like you until I found the right help. I am unrecognizable as to who I used to be, and SA is rarely a problem anymore.

I think you sound plenty intelligent. You are articulate and a good writer. There are plenty of people in the world who don't even know how to read and or write. You are being too hard on yourself.

Yes, therapy comes at a cost. Do you work? Do you have family that could help to pay? There are ways you can make money from your computer as well - it just takes some time.

Research shows that therapy remains the God standard for anxiety disorders and depression.

Our thought life plays a tremendous role
In how we feel physiologically, psychologically, and emotionally. If we are thinking in worrisome or negative ways all the time, of course w aren't going to feel good physically and mentally. Brain fog shut me down for YEARS because my thought life was so negative and unhealthy.
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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 12:27 AM
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Things like depression, anhedonia, anxiety, ptsd and a variety of other conditions interfere with motivation, concentration, focus, interest, memory, etc. Also being anxious/avoidant can limit (or skew how we process) new and novel experiences that challenge, engage and cause us to grow.

So nope. I don't think I'm stupid at all. Definitely functioning below my ability though and not being challenged at all in life. Sometimes I can feel my brain slooooowly turning to mush. Studying for an exam last 2 days and it's crazy how I felt my brain perk up from actually being used to do **** beyond my normal ****. Poor thing.

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Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 02:38 AM
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I dunno. But I definitely do think I always try to think of myself as smarter than I really am. Unfortunately it usually takes a kick in the face by reality to remind me of this every time. Yet I still never learn and revert.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 10:15 AM
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I wish I had some natural abilities. I always have to work hard at everything to get good at whatever it is I'm trying to do. Some people just seem to do things effortlessly. I wonder what that's like.

And no, we're not all equal. Some people do have natural abilities.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
I wish I had some natural abilities. I always have to work hard at everything to get good at whatever it is I'm trying to do. Some people just seem to do things effortlessly. I wonder what that's like.

And no, we're not all equal. Some people do have natural abilities.
I agree, Maslow. Some can do lot more through natural talent and intuition, and some have to adapt from the ground up. It's always a struggle for me to understand the world and to figure out how I'm supposed to live in it. Don't feel especially smart at anything I do really.

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post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 11:13 AM
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I know I'm pretty dumb. I've always done bad at school etc even when I tried I got bad grades and I'm not good at practical or creative things either so it leaves me hopeless lol
Edit: posting in the 30+ section again just proved it lol

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post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 11:31 AM
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I was smart when I was in school. mental problems have definitely taken their toll though. still, I'm no idiot.

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post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 01:55 PM
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I know everything. I know because I asked myself.
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post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 03:36 PM
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I'm not dumb or stupid. I'm just slow at times. LOL. A little gullible.


But I understand the feeling because I have struggle with my attention and my comprehension during my school days. They put me in "Special Ed" in the 5th grade. "Learning Disability." "I.E.Meetings." Stuff like that. Anyway now that I am older I still struggle with it a little. I sometimes miss hear information because it is as if my brain didn't process the information quick enough. Then I would have to ask again because I have forgotten just that fast. And my memory isn't too well. Once in awhile when it happen too frequently it causes me to think like I am stupid or not smart enough. It can mess with my self esteem. Who want people to think you are stupid or dumb intellectually? Some people are sharp, some are average, some are slow, some are not the brightest. It is what it is. Everyone intelligence is on a different level and it is seen {or express} in many different areas.
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post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 03:41 PM
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I have a learning disability. It always made me feel stupid. It's hard not too, when you work your butt off and all you classmates zoom past you. And your teacher made you stay inside to work on your school work.
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post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 07:24 AM
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No, but I have an atrocious memory, which enormously impacts on my ability to be interesting and to bond over shared experiences.

If there's one thing that destroys me above all else it's a bad memory.
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post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 07:49 AM
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Quote:
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No, but I have an atrocious memory, which enormously impacts on my ability to be interesting and to bond over shared experiences.

If there's one thing that destroys me above all else it's a bad memory.
Same here. And a lot of people equate memory with intelligence.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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