Unmotivated, kicked out of Uni. Lost. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-06-2019, 02:00 AM Thread Starter
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Unmotivated, kicked out of Uni. Lost.


This is my first post on this forum and I'm not sure if it is even appropriate for this website as I don't think I have (much) social anxiety, but I am very frustrated and am not sure where else to go.

My main problem is that I am doing terribly in school and procrastinate to an insane amount. Just as a back story I was an extremely motivated straight A honor roll high school student and made it in to a top University in my country. First day there I was extremely nervous wondering if I belonged there and if I could handle such a school. After first year I was put on probation and was finally kicked out in my third year. First year I used to drive to school and sometimes would sleep in and miss class or drive to a park and sleep in my car so my parents wouldn't get upset. 2nd year I stayed on campus and skipped a majority of my classes. 3rd year I drove to school but skipped a lot of classes as well. Ive gotten 15% grades and yes even 0% in a class. I want to do well but I just wont study. I will plan out to read a chapter a day for twelve days before the exam. Then it turns into having to read 2 chapters a day, then 3, then finally all 12, and I wont even read any of the chapters by the time I have to write the exam. In some cases I would skip the exam, sometimes I would just go and guess the answers. I beat myself up over it all the time but I dont know why I wont study. Instead of studying I will either play video games with friends or just watch youtube. At one point I blamed it on my friends, thinking if I didnt have them to play with I would study instead. But I once cut gaming out for a week or two and just ended up watching youtube instead. I am now going to a community college (my friend from high school is also in my classes) and am in my second semester. I've attended every class so far and gotten decent grades, yet I still wont study. If the material was harder I would get destroyed. I'm thinking that if my friend was not attending the same classes I wouldn't be doing as well as I was. While I said I dont think I have social anxiety, it for some reason after about gr 10 became extremely hard for me to make friends. On a soccer team I joined in gr 10 I spoke maybe anout 4 words to the team, and they all used to ask me why I never spoke. I used to just shrug. Sorry for rambling, but the end of story is that I want to build good studying habbits but I cant and perhaps there is an underlying reason? Or am I just lazy and need to get my *** together? If so how? Where do I find motivation? Should I seek professional help? I don't even know where to start. I used to talk to a counselor for first year of uni for non-school related problems and whenever i brought up procrastination he would just dismiss it as "oh everyone procrastinates" because I never told him the full extent of my procrastination since I felt to embarrassed.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-20-2019, 12:59 AM
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I am sorry about the challenges you face, I've also faced(and still face to some extent) similar challenges. Perhaps there is an underlying mental health problem which causes you to have extreme procrastination which impacts very negatively on your life. Perhaps you should see a therapist and be brutally honest about what you are going through.
I have struggled with social anxiety and depression for years, this made me lose self belief and made me procrastinae. I also got kicked out of university and for years my life was falling apart but I kinda got help through therapy and I started university again, I am doing relatively well.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 03:00 PM
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It would be just my luck that if I ever had been motivated enough to be in a university in the first place, I'd be kicked out for still not being motivated enough to justify my being there.

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"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established." - Carlin
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-05-2019, 04:04 PM
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Oh wow, I am in a similar situation with you. I remember first year college back in 2014 Fall and I randomly chose Sociology because my parents wanted me to go to college and just do something. It wasn't that I hated Socio but I would procrastinate a lot because for one of the classes we had to write like 3 essays. I was like NOOOPE, thats too much. I was also addicted to online gaming back then and honestly still is now.. so that made me skip classes and not do any assignments. I failed the first semester, was on academic probation and I didn't even know about it cause I didn't bother looking at my transcript after finals was done. Second semester same thing happened, and the next thing you know I was suspended. Yeah the main problem with me is also studying.. I hate studying, I rather play online games than study, thats my addiction problem right there. I know its 2019 now and I'm still not interested in college, all my classmates from high school are probably working full time office jobs but not me, I still act like a 16 year old teen always on youtube, netflix and my laptop..

I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own
But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone
So I watch the summer stars to lead me home

-Owl City
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