I'm sorry to hear of this, I get the same thing with exams and public speaking despite the practise I had! There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are a competent person. If you look on the recovery section of this website there are many tools of recovery you can use to explore what works for you (therapy, support groups, lifestyle practises...). I'm using these tools right now and I'm feeling much better in terms of social anxiety (which got so bad once I stopped leaving the house thinking others were thinking ****e of me). There are so many different tools to use man, I guess it's finding what works for you. One thing I like to do is to preach what I want to believe; the more other socially anxious people I help comfort the more I actually start to believe in my own loving or calming message.