getting in groups...?!?! - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-21-2007, 05:39 PM Thread Starter
 
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getting in groups...?!?!


so... i understand that most of you are in college or older... but im a junior in high school. so, in my english class, were doing this research project where we have to pick our own groups! i know no one in there. everyone knew who they wanted to be with when the teacher told us we are picking our own groups because everyone has their own little close group of friends in there except me lol. at the beginning of the year i made friends with a girl from california but i havent talken to her in so long because we have nothing in common whatsoever... so its awkward for me when we talk.... so i havent talken to her in awhile like a couple of months or more... but shes the only potential person i can go up to and ask her if i can join her group... its groups of 3... and i know shes with one of her closest friends in there already so hopefully theres still a spot for me.... yea.... but im nervous to ask her if i can join her group!!! i just feel like this total loser asking... everyone is an easedropper in that class so i know everyone will here me ask can i join your group? when i walk in... ~sigh~... im scared!!! please tell me your silly high school teachers have made you pick your own groups before!!
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-21-2007, 05:49 PM
 
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re: getting in groups...?!?!


A lot of college classes involve group work as well especially business classes. It is best you get over your fear now then have to face it later. If you are in a big class you will most likely be making your own group when you get to college. I had a friend who skipped a lot of classes and missed the day we made groups and assumed he would be in my group but he is a lazy dumbass and I wanted a high mark. If you think asking your friend with your classmates ease dropping is embarrassing try having to go in front of 300 people in a lecture hall and having the prof announce that you still don't have a group because that is what happened to my friend. I suggest you ask her before somebody else does.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-21-2007, 06:31 PM
 
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re: getting in groups...?!?!


I had that same problem at the beginning of the year in my AP psychology class. 90% of the class are seniors, and im a junior(high school), so I didnt know anyone. Of course we had a big group project, and I had to find the courage to ask to work with 2 people cuz, one of their friends was sick. They said it was ok for me to work with them, and we became friends. I guess what I am saying is that there will be situations like this, and you just have to find the strenth within you to act.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-26-2007, 10:08 PM
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I'm a senior in college and the professor for both of the business courses I'm taking right now requires us to get into groups for each and every class session. Surprisingly, i'm doing a lot better with it than I thought I would. I think people don't care who the people in their group are, we only have to work together for about an hour, and the groups are constantly changing. Plus it gives me an opportunity to talk to my classmates and work on my social skills! So, i've decided that I like groupwork!!
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-29-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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re: getting in groups...?!?!


This is my absolute worst nightmare. I completely detest classes in which I don't have any close friends, because I tend to just sit and do work and not talk the entire time.

I always freak out when they ask us to get in groups--I can't ever approach anyone, though, it's too nerve-wracking.

I'm a junior in high school, too.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-29-2007, 06:41 PM
 
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I'm in highschool, and we still do that stuff. Urgh, I hate it! Especially like the situation you're in, when you have to join groups with people you don't know well. I'm usually one of the last ones not in a group.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-29-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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I hated that in HS and college, but now I am taking college classes where we don't make groups. I really don't know what to say, but just ask soon as you can and hopefully when nobody else is around. If its a consistent problem, maybe explain to the teacher and ask her to assign groups. I never trusted my teachers enough to do that in HS, but they really are there to help so its something to consider.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-29-2007, 09:23 PM
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re: getting in groups...?!?!


I don't remember doing groups too much in high school. But I was unconscious through the latter part of it, so maybe I just don't remember. At that point I was becoming more quiet, but I still knew the majority of the kids in my classes, so it wasn't as big a problem as groups were in college.

Every time a teacher would say break up into groups my heart would start to race and I'd start to sweat. I would sit in a corner most of the time, so sometimes my group was already decided for me. Other times I would look at someone and quickly ask if I could join their group. Then I would sit there quietly while my groupmates would chat it up and probably think I was a loser.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-06-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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Re: re: getting in groups...?!?!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless Loner
A lot of college classes involve group work as well especially business classes. It is best you get over your fear now then have to face it later. If you are in a big class you will most likely be making your own group when you get to college. I had a friend who skipped a lot of classes and missed the day we made groups and assumed he would be in my group but he is a lazy dumbass and I wanted a high mark. If you think asking your friend with your classmates ease dropping is embarrassing try having to go in front of 300 people in a lecture hall and having the prof announce that you still don't have a group because that is what happened to my friend. I suggest you ask her before somebody else does.
You didn't have to do a presentation in this class with 300 people did you? If you did wow that's amazing you got through it. Then again I guess with that many people being nervous would be somewhat understandable.

But very true group work is very common in business classes. The only classes I've had that were business and more individual based were accounting and even these had some group things involved but not as much as other business classes that I took (marketing, management, finance).
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-08-2007, 11:05 AM
 
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Re: re: getting in groups...?!?!


Quote:
Originally Posted by scairy

You didn't have to do a presentation in this class with 300 people did you? If you did wow that's amazing you got through it. Then again I guess with that many people being nervous would be somewhat understandable.

But very true group work is very common in business classes. The only classes I've had that were business and more individual based were accounting and even these had some group things involved but not as much as other business classes that I took (marketing, management, finance).
Nah, there was no presentation but I probably wouldn't get very nervous even if there are 300 ppl since I am pretty good at public speaking/presentations. I guess I should also mention that I don't have SA but even "normal" people get nervous during presentations. I have done presentations with people who are very social but during the presentation they resort to looking at the floor, humming every second, twitching their body, and etc. I also don't really care about making myself look like a fool in public under the right context of course. In my last school biz presentation my group did a rap competition and we dressed all ghetto while most other ppl were in suits. Oh and we got perfect from both the prof and TA.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2007, 10:32 AM
 
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Ah. i also hate this make-a-group-thing. I don't really talk to many so i would feel intrusive if i ask other people who know just who they want to work with. I don't really have any advice for this, but to remember that you're not a loser and don't bring yourself down to much.
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