Essay Help? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2013, 06:26 PM Thread Starter
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Essay Help?

Hello everyone,
My psychology teacher assigned the class a research paper, and he let us pick the topic. I know this isn't a homework help website, but I picked a topic based on my experience (SAD) I am not finished yet... I am hoping for anyone to chime in and critique my essay so far.... : ah I am so afraid I may be going in the wrong direction with this... thank you ahead of time

*ps this isn't formatted yet...I'm not done with the body or conclusion anything you think I should add

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a form of social anxiety; and it is a chronic problem with symptoms that can reduce quality of life. Described by Leibowitz and associates as a neglected anxiety disorder, which raised research on the disorder, it is now a treatable disorder.
Paragraph 1: Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is a persistent fear of being judged or scrutinized by others in social or performance situations. It is a psychopathological form of social anxiety, also known as a mental disorder, which is an array of behavioral or psychological symptoms that affect multiple life areas (Kessler et al., 1994) (Leitenberg, 1990). Social Phobia is characterized by the same symptoms of social anxiety both of whom include physical and emotional aspects. Anxiety that disrupts daily routine, work, school, or other activities in addition to , intense fear of situations or any interaction that would involve criticism and evaluation, worrying about embarrassing oneself, trembling or shaking, fast heartbeat, shaky voice, and muscle tension, are the major symptoms of the disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 2000). Social anxiety disorder is acknowledged as one of the most common mental health disorders with a prevalence of 12% (Schneider, 2006).
There are many biological, psychological, and social risk factors of social anxiety disorder, such as being female, family history, environment, temperament, and new social or work demands. According to experts social phobia occurs more in females than males, but men are more likely to seek help (Xu et al., 2012) (Weinstock, 1999). There is more risk of having social phobia if biological parents or siblings have the condition, which can be due to genetics or acquiring social experience through observational learning (Merikangas et al., 1999).
Studies also suggest that genetics as well as a combination of environmental factors play a part.² See Rutter M (2000). "Psychosocial influences: critiques, findings, and research needs". Dev Psychopathol. 12 (3): 375–405. In addition there could be an association between social anxiety disorder and parents that are controlling or protective of their children to having a shy temperament, and being bullied as a child. In adults those who face new social or work demands for example, meeting new people furthermore any situation that requires judgment or criticism may trigger social anxiety symptoms.
Complications The effects of social anxiety disorder surpass those of shyness. Social anxiety disorder does not equate shyness, although the two are often confused. The difference between shyness and social anxiety disorder are the severity and persistence of symptoms. This disorder disrupts the routine life of a person interfering with career or social relationships. For example, those with social anxiety disorder usually have scanty employment history, therefore moving from job to job; or having trouble finding employment at all. According to M B Stein and J M Gorman (2001) individuals make major life choices to accommodate their illness, namely, low academic performance, in some cases refusal to go to school or even dropping out, excessive drinking, substance abuse, and isolation.
Stein and Gorman’s article “Unmasking Social Anxiety Disorder,” (2001) states that:
They drop out of school early because of their fears of speaking in front of groups, or they take jobs that permit them to avoid interacting with other. They often do not date at all, and many become lonely and isolated. If and when they eventually present for treatment, patients with generalized social anxiety disorder report tremendous dissatisfaction with their lives. They perceive their quality of life to be poor and report extensive illness intrusiveness (i.e., the extent to which an illness interferes with functioning).
Choices such as excessive drinking or substance abuse can be explained by the comorbidity between other conditions, like low self-esteem and depression. ³ See "Defining Comorbidity: Implications for Understanding Health and Health Services" for more information on comorbidity. Those suffering from social anxiety disorder often experience low self-esteem and depression. This may be due to complications of the disorder causing lack of personal relations and causing social isolation.

CONCLUSION Social anxiety disorder exceeds shyness or occasional nervousness it is a debilitating disorder with symptoms ranging from intense fear to anxiety, which can yield to other complications such as low self esteem and depression.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2013, 06:45 PM
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the conclusion should sound more like you are ending the paper. it comes off as you have more to say.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2013, 09:36 PM
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It seems like you still have to proofread it since there are a lot of places where punctuation work is needed. Also, this sentence just sounds weird. "Described by Leibowitz and associates as a neglected anxiety disorder, which raised research on the disorder, it is now a treatable disorder." I would reword it, but that's just me. I also think you should add more of your personal experiences with the disorder. Right now it just seems like I'm reading some psychological book.

I downloaded that text link, but only part of it showed up. I'm not sure if it's just on my end or something is wrong with the download link. Just thought you should know.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2013, 10:05 PM
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-05-2013, 10:33 PM
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Originally Posted by komorikun View Post
You do know it's spamming to make 3 identical threads.
Note to OP - I removed your two duplicate threads, and moved this to a more relevant section. In future please avoid posting the same thread in multiple sections Thanks.
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