Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-14-2008, 07:28 PM Thread Starter
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Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


I just came across the book "Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety" by Erika B. Hilliard, which of course, is another book about defeating SA. But, it really got me thinking. Instead of writing about "fighting" this disorder... why does nobody write about how to really live with the disorder. I'm talking about living life to the fullest without trying to defeat Social Anxiety. The fact is there are possibly millions of people that will never defeat social anxiety... so why isn't there a book for them? Why isn't there a book that can help a person navigate through their life while having social anxiety. I'm not talking about fighting, curing, easing, or reducing SA... I'm talking about living life to the fullest with it. The best places to go, the best things to do, the most entertaining things to experience with minimal impact to SA. I believe everybody should try to overcome SA, but I also believe that we should live life as best and as happy as we can until we have overcome SA.

Any authors here? If you build it, we will buy!
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-17-2008, 01:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


I agree Eric. I can't find any book that really focuses on having fun while having Social Anxiety. So I am going take an approach that a friend recommended from www.stevepavlina.com. What I am going to do is debrief myself every night of the enjoyable events that I participated in. I will list the event that was enjoyable, what was enjoyable, how it was enjoyable, brainstorm other events that are similar, list things I could have done to make it more enjoyable, and list aspects that were not enjoyable. I believe by doing this... within 1 year, I will have a huge list of fun activities that all SA people can do and have fun without worrying.

By the way, I must say.... your post was ingenious.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-17-2008, 06:25 AM
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Barnes
I just came across the book "Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety" by Erika B. Hilliard, which of course, is another book about defeating SA. But, it really got me thinking. Instead of writing about "fighting" this disorder... why does nobody write about how to really live with the disorder. I'm talking about living life to the fullest without trying to defeat Social Anxiety. The fact is there are possibly millions of people that will never defeat social anxiety... so why isn't there a book for them? Why isn't there a book that can help a person navigate through their life while having social anxiety. I'm not talking about fighting, curing, easing, or reducing SA... I'm talking about living life to the fullest with it. The best places to go, the best things to do, the most entertaining things to experience with minimal impact to SA. I believe everybody should try to overcome SA, but I also believe that we should live life as best and as happy as we can until we have overcome SA.

Any authors here? If you build it, we will buy!
you cant live life fully when youve got SA. how can you live life and enjoy yourself if you are in an anxious state all of the time ? you cant

if you want to live life then you must defeat SA. it can be done , ive seen it
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2008, 12:45 AM
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


I have just had a terrible day at work. A female co worker just asked how I was and I blushed - badly. I feel like dying but instead will have a few drinks to get over it. My marriage is suffering because of that problem. I'm 52 and should be able to say I"m fine without this debiliating thing - can someone please help?.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2008, 01:17 AM
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Barnes
I just came across the book "Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety" by Erika B. Hilliard, which of course, is another book about defeating SA. But, it really got me thinking. Instead of writing about "fighting" this disorder... why does nobody write about how to really live with the disorder. I'm talking about living life to the fullest without trying to defeat Social Anxiety. The fact is there are possibly millions of people that will never defeat social anxiety... so why isn't there a book for them? Why isn't there a book that can help a person navigate through their life while having social anxiety. I'm not talking about fighting, curing, easing, or reducing SA... I'm talking about living life to the fullest with it. The best places to go, the best things to do, the most entertaining things to experience with minimal impact to SA. I believe everybody should try to overcome SA, but I also believe that we should live life as best and as happy as we can until we have overcome SA.

Any authors here? If you build it, we will buy!
Great idea--haven't come across a book quite like this. Would be interested in contributing if you're planning to organize.

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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-19-2008, 08:28 AM
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


I like the idea, but in a sence it also comes down to defeating SA.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2008, 10:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


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Originally Posted by R4ph4el
I like the idea, but in a sence it also comes down to defeating SA.
It does, but not in the conventional way. You can still have SA and enjoy a comedy club, movies... and a plethora of activities that we don't know of because we always avoid them.

Who knew that I would like indoor rock climbing? or going to a restaurant on the peer on the beach to have coffee? I enjoy getting out from time to time, but I never know what to do.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-01-2008, 12:16 PM
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


Sounds similar to what I've learned in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Define what you want to do, regardless of anxiety, then work from there with that as your main objective. I think there's a couple mainstream authors on that topic.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-04-2008, 11:06 PM
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Re: Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety


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I'm talking about living life to the fullest without trying to defeat Social Anxiety.
Well, that sort of contradicts itself.

I would assume that most peoples problems is exactly that they can't live life to the fullest because of social anxiety.

I guess you can try to live your life as good as you can limited by social anxiety,but personally that's a million miles away from what i would consider living life to the fullest.

i dunno man...who knows...ya know??
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