BY FAR THE BEST BOOK I'VE EVER READ, helped a LOT!!!!!!!!!!! - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-06-2006, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
 
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BY FAR THE BEST BOOK I'VE EVER READ, helped a LOT!!!!!!!!!!!


Get "The Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle, it helped me so much I can't even tell you. I read it a year ago (a couple times) and I still use the concepts in it in my daily life and think about it all the time and it changed my life. I've dealt with a mild case of social anxiety for years and always wondered why the hell I was so anxious all the time, and this book helped me learn what to do about it. Basically, social anxiety stems from overanalyzing everything. You're upset because you think too much: fear of what will happen, stuff you don't like that's happened to you, etc. You're NEVER really thinking about what you're doing at this moment. You live in either the past or future, which is just awful and makes you feel like crap. Life isn't about correcting deficiencies. Please just read the book, and if you wanna ask me some questions about it, please feel free and I will do what I can to help you!
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-07-2006, 08:47 PM
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WOW....everything you just said is SPOT ON. I disagree with life isnt about correcting defencies. I think you should correct them, but i think its not what LIFE is about, it is a PART OF LIFE. I think im going to actually pick up that book tommrrow. thanks.
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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-08-2006, 03:57 PM Thread Starter
 
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please do so, you will not be disappointed. if u have any questions about, let me know, i would be more than happy to explain since some ideas in the book are really kind of abstract.
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-09-2006, 04:02 AM
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I have the audio-series...and I know what is meant by living in the present but it's just not practical enough....how do you train your mind to live in the present? he says: "watch thoughts and feelings" but that didn't do it for me...
maybe some help?
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-09-2006, 11:17 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by R4ph4el
I have the audio-series...and I know what is meant by living in the present but it's just not practical enough....how do you train your mind to live in the present? he says: "watch thoughts and feelings" but that didn't do it for me...
maybe some help?
I'd get the book if I were you, the concepts ARE a little complex so reading them again is sort of essential to understanding them. "Watching thoughts and feelings" means that you should observe yourself thinking your thoughts and be conscious of what's actually happening at that moment, as if you were watching yourself in a movie. When you do that, you develop the capacity to transcend those feelings. You realize you're making a conscious decision to make yourself feel like crap. Instead of rationalizing and saying oh I shouldn't feel this way, you just go about your life paying attention to what you're doing or feeling at that moment and experiencing your feelings with the utmost intensity. By not relating your negative feelings to your life "situation" or your past or whatever's coming up in the future, you end up realizing you do have a choice not to think that way...this is tough to explain, I didn't get it at first either but after I read the whole book, I figured it out.
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-13-2006, 10:20 AM
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if only these concepts were easy to apply, we would all be cured!

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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-13-2006, 10:48 AM Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Grantonio
if only these concepts were easy to apply, we would all be cured!
Nothing that's easy is ever worth anything.
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 12:18 AM
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Life's a *****, then you die

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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 10:11 AM
 
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thanks


Thanks for your post about this book, I will have to check it out. Your post reminded me of something my psychiatrist said which is that anxiety is when you are stuck thinking of the future and depression is when you are stuck in the past.
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-14-2006, 11:03 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: thanks


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mngirl
Thanks for your post about this book, I will have to check it out. Your post reminded me of something my psychiatrist said which is that anxiety is when you are stuck thinking of the future and depression is when you are stuck in the past.

Right. If you have social anxiety, you're never actually living the present. As soon as you do or say something, you're immediately living in the past because you're wondering how other people are perceiving what you just did or said. If you were actually ljust experiencing NOW, there'd be no anxiety. If you felt anxious for whatever reason, then just accept it and feel it. Don't try to suppress or hide your feelings.
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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-23-2006, 06:05 PM
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There are different types of social anxiety, those that have physical symptoms in social situations are all too aware of what's going on at the moment with them. The SA *thoughts* are in the subconscious and you are not even aware of them. Yeah it would help not to be so self conscious but you have to deal with the subconscious automatic thoughts somehow to put an end to them. Just ignoring them and trying to concentrate on the present is not going to be helpful to a lot of people with SAD IMO It's an automatic reaction you don't really have time to think about anything. For example when someone with SA is trying to give a speech they are not *consciously* thinking about anything but giving the speech the SA thoughts are in the background.
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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 05:19 AM
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Originally Posted by sprinter
There are different types of social anxiety, those that have physical symptoms in social situations are all too aware of what's going on at the moment with them. The SA *thoughts* are in the subconscious and you are not even aware of them. Yeah it would help not to be so self conscious but you have to deal with the subconscious automatic thoughts somehow to put an end to them. Just ignoring them and trying to concentrate on the present is not going to be helpful to a lot of people with SAD IMO It's an automatic reaction you don't really have time to think about anything. For example when someone with SA is trying to give a speech they are not *consciously* thinking about anything but giving the speech the SA thoughts are in the background.
meditation helps catching those thoughts, that's out of personal experience
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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 08:47 PM
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I began reading the power of now over two years ago and has been the most life changing book I ever read. Though when I got educated about SA about 10 years ago after having had it for 40 years, my life improved dramaticaly.
Never the less I had been bothered by haunting memories of earlier social isolation, family alienations, abusive bosses, , and numerous therapists who failed me. These are stories or movies I have been playing in my mind over and over and they served the unhappy purpose of maintaining mind identifications with thoughts. I like many people the book pointed out had become addicted to
unhappiness. This is probably the secondary effects of years of SA.
The past year or so I have re-read several times E.T. more recent book "The New Earth" which I think gives a better explaination of the concepts in P.O.N. Especially in the area of "pain body"I have been reading similar books but I have to say E.T. writings resonates with me the best especially when I feel stuck in the dump.
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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 05:03 AM
 
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I found a couple of books with that same title, "The Power of Now". Is that the full title? The one I most often saw is called "The Power of Now:A Guide to Spritual Enlightenment" but that doesn't seem like the right book.
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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 08:00 AM
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I just checked the book I have and it does have " a guide to spiritual englightenment" attached to the title inside the book.
The author again is Eckhart Tolle and the ISBN# is 1-57731-152-3
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post #16 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 08:40 AM
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Sounds like "mindfulness." I've been trying to practice that and it does help.

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post #17 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 09:55 AM
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Yes this book is amazing. I first read it about 3 years ago and I felt so good after reading it, but you have to keep practicing it. I stopped practicing it and forgot a lot of things. I bought the book again 2 weeks ago so now I have a copy in my house I can review any time There is also a manual you can buy which gives you practical strategies for learning the Power of Now.
 
post #18 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-29-2006, 10:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sprinter
There are different types of social anxiety, those that have physical symptoms in social situations are all too aware of what's going on at the moment with them. The SA *thoughts* are in the subconscious and you are not even aware of them. Yeah it would help not to be so self conscious but you have to deal with the subconscious automatic thoughts somehow to put an end to them. Just ignoring them and trying to concentrate on the present is not going to be helpful to a lot of people with SAD IMO It's an automatic reaction you don't really have time to think about anything. For example when someone with SA is trying to give a speech they are not *consciously* thinking about anything but giving the speech the SA thoughts are in the background.
I find this to be personally true.
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post #19 of 34 (permalink) Old 09-02-2006, 07:59 AM
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i have the audiobook on my sendspace, if you want it leave me a private message here with your e-mail, and i'll send you the link
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post #20 of 34 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 08:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by illiniry
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grantonio
if only these concepts were easy to apply, we would all be cured!
Nothing that's easy is ever worth anything.
Life was easy to obtain- I didn't even have to ask for it
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