Y'all check this out! Phoenix, Arizona! - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-24-2020, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
 
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I hope the Confidential people in this group, some acquaintances some enemies, will be open to receive my apologies, condolences, forgiveness for my cluster A, B, C, or D personality disorder. Aside from that, no one really cares what disorders I really have, if it's a social anxiety group, it is just that. So then, without my emotional reaction, I am very grateful for this group. It really helped me achieve a couple of baby steps. After I was done with the Social Anxiety Institute group I was very depressed all over again and this group was life saving. I was actually able to start again with this group in 2018, the first time was 2017. So I was having selective mutism in the SAI group and couldn't talk in the classroom setting, but with this group I could. It's a major achievement to be able to baby step in this group and talk like I just don't care, major!

I shouldn't talk negatively about this group. I had a lot of fun going to places to hang out with them and do things together. I just have too big of an ego and when I take Prozac it just erases my mind and mixes me up and I forget the nice times we had together. But Prozac also helped me in this group when I took it, at least this group was there for me with meds and without meds. It was something interesting to experience for me personally as I am interested in my psyche. I'm ****ing crazy! But I don't want to be drugged against my will. It was my choice to take the meds, I was feeling so bad, mostly because my family doctor looks down upon me. Now I feel a whole lot better. What a ride! So if I do get to have chances to go to similar groups or this one, I will try again with none of the old problems.

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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-02-2020, 05:10 AM
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are you still dirty as fck?


lol jk

**** your feelings !!


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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-03-2020, 06:35 AM Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by D'avjo View Post
are you still dirty as fck?


lol jk
Yes I am

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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-03-2020, 07:10 AM Thread Starter
 
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It's interesting how I went from having social anxiety about joining this specific group all the way to being thrown out and socially rejected by them. Why do they ignore me when I message them even? Where are their ****ing balls? Why not confront me and tell me what the hell is up? Well at least I have ovaries. It's fine, I feel better if I don't become so enmeshed with them anyway, I'm too easily influenced and can become enmeshed and forget myself in groups or in relationships. It's funny, very funny.

I don't want to tell them what I am doing every single day, as it was how we were doing things, because that's how it was at the Social Anxiety Institute. My ****ing daily journal, my ****ing "proactivity report". Sometimes it's better to be an independent loner, because that's what you become anyway, there's no real groups out there unless you give yourself up completely because you're a ****ing coward and want to fit in. That's the only way to fit in, you become no one, you become them. No thanks.

There's too much gossip in groups and disgusting personalities. And my bipolar has nothing to do with it, even better for being bipolar that I can be a ***** and refuse their bowing and scraping. Imagine that, a social anxiety group actually judging you and guess what social anxiety is real! Here it is! They're causing social anxiety for me, especially in the form of social rejection, their accumulation of disgusting personalities, their silent treatments, and judging.

Is it really that hard to reply to me? Even on this website, is it really that hard to read my review and reply, show me you have balls? I have ovaries and I am ready to be harvested and no one ****ing wants it! Well, at least I learned something about groups now, especially for specific disorders, ****ing they're ****ing causing this disorder. Maybe not in the beginning because it's like new, like a dating/relationship, you know how in the beginning everyone is on their best behaviors. But as times goes by, all this gossiping and judging and the way they treat you, ugh, then it ends finally, like ghosting, okay bye ***************.

Whatever, I am an individual and I feel much so much better, alone, loner life. I have so much proof that I am a loner. It's obvious that other people cause me/us to be this way. Other people, hmm, maybe I should use it, this social anxiety disorder, to keep me away from these mothersuckers. Wow, imagine that, imagine you can use your disorders to save your ****ing life. Thank God! God, if you exist, I ****ing love you. Why cry and be depressed when your disorders are your saving grace? Haha, I ****ing love my disorders now and forever and I am ****ing happy.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 08-03-2020, 09:31 AM
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Yes I am

lol ok.

**** your feelings !!


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post #26 of 26 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 03:07 PM Thread Starter
 
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Hmm maybe I shouldn't date and have sexual feelings within my own circle. This was apparently a social circle of mine next to the Social Anxiety Institute one. I didn't date or sex anyone there, I should have kept it that way with this group. **** I messed up! That's what dating sites are for.

Hmm maybe even in the jobs that's why they recommend you don't have sexual relations there. You might lose your job! Like I lost this group. ****, my ****ing social circle. Man how sad, extremely sad. But it's all prozac's fault, the prozac personality I get is extremely retarded and destroys everything.

I wouldn't have sex with anyone in my circle without this personality from prozac, I promise! I know better! My social anxiety disorder knows better, it knows how to behave and keep circles I worked so hard for! I'm very disappointed in prozac, look what it has done to me! I am inexperienced with groups and social circles, it seems, especially when I take prozac.

Man what a pity. A huge mistake! I keep making such stupid mistakes and am always in revenge mode and attacking people with my toddler emotions while on prozac. Oh man I am so saddened by the turn of things. I guess losing a group or social circle means that I broke a rule.

I probably broke some rules if they don't want to accept me in their new group. Maybe there's a no dating rule I didn't know about. I guess all things have their place in this world, prozac is for mental hospitals, dating is on dating sites, social circle is friendship only, jobs are jobs, sex is sex, everything should fit in a certain box.

And I should be more careful with my bipolar mania and avoid stimulating drugs that turn me into a different personality that takes social circles for granted or uses them like dating sites. I'm so disappointed in myself, I deserve to become a nun, and close this door between my legs forever. Until one day I get reincarnated again and come out the door, and it opens once more into infinity.
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