Making friends in mid 20s - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-16-2019, 01:56 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 1

Making friends in mid 20s


I'm looking for advice on how to make friends in mid 20s.

My entire childhood to high school life, I was super shy and awkward with no friends. In college, I made some friends and became better socially, however, I started to learn that I like being by myself.

Now out of college, I've grown away from my previous friends, due to not really being the same type of people as me. All I do now is work and go home. Sometimes I'm happy with this lifestyle, other days I'm bored and wish my life had more purpose. However, I have no idea how to make friends, and I do not want to make friends from work, since I really want to stop thinking about work (I have a salary job that is actually pretty stressful and requires a lot of social contact.)

If anyone has a similar experience, can they please advise me on how to get out of this boring situation?
Jonb2693 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 08:49 PM
SAS Member
 
shyguy07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,665
That describes me pretty well. I'm a few years older than you but I had the same thing after I graduated. It's harder then because you don't meet new people your age as much anymore. I'd suggest possibly joining a group in your area or city that you might have an interest in. Maybe a team of guys that plays sports, or a gaming group? Churches can also be good places to meet people.

It is harder when you just go to work everyday and not much else. That's kinda where I've been for the last several years. I don't really want to make friends from worth either because I prefer not to talk about it much in my free time. Not necessarily because I don't like people there or think they're bad, I'd just rather leave work stuff at work.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
shyguy07 is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-17-2019, 09:46 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Posts: 467
My Mood: Bored
Im not sure how to make friends either. But I think the one way to at least start the process, is to just go out and meet people.
Meetup groups are a good way. But of course each group is hit or miss, nor is it a guarantee that you will find someone. But I feel generally people are more open to being friends in meetup groups because I think it's kinda what meetups are about.



I think it's like a numbers game, just keep meeting more and more people, eventually you will click with someone.
AllGlad is offline  
 
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:00 PM
Perpetually Exhausted
 
Darvyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: USA
Gender: Fluid
Age: 24
Posts: 20
My Mood: Tired
I've been lucky enough to have co-workers that are rather pleasant, but I understand that your situation is different.

Much like the others in this thread, I think you should start with going to events that have to do with things you're interested in. That way you can find folks with mutual interests hopefully develop some sort of acquaintanceship.

You could also try to find an online community? I know it's not ideal, but who knows.

Honestly I'd be willing to hear some advice as well!

👻

You can call me Darvyn.
But I am open to other nickname possibilities.
Darvyn is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-18-2019, 12:11 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonb2693 View Post
I'm looking for advice on how to make friends in mid 20s.

My entire childhood to high school life, I was super shy and awkward with no friends. In college, I made some friends and became better socially, however, I started to learn that I like being by myself.

Now out of college, I've grown away from my previous friends, due to not really being the same type of people as me. All I do now is work and go home. Sometimes I'm happy with this lifestyle, other days I'm bored and wish my life had more purpose. However, I have no idea how to make friends, and I do not want to make friends from work, since I really want to stop thinking about work (I have a salary job that is actually pretty stressful and requires a lot of social contact.)

If anyone has a similar experience, can they please advise me on how to get out of this boring situation?

Well, I would like to meet you maybe, lol.



I find it hard myself, but I think it's easier to make friends in an easy environment- that is, in a place where people are not high stress or just trying to get things done. Where that would be is tricky, but I think tourist type areas are one place. Having something to talk about can be tricky with people. If people are together for a purpose (lets say a convention or rally, etc), then it's only natural to go over and say "What's this about?" Church groups can be good.

Kinda advice for myself, lol. I know when I was working that I was both anxious and unable to connect with people, and my attempts at socializing flopped most of the time. I spent a lot of time thinking about jumping into traffic or feeling life was useless. When I was a homeless traveler I was better, partly because I needed charm to survive, but also I met more people I could really connect with- though it was few and far between.
I connected with very lively christian people in one place, and the acceptance and purpose they had was infectious. Sadly, I've turned into a misanthrope of late.

I guess I can summarize it this way- either meet people having fun or people together for a cause. People like that are more open.
GeorgeMilton is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-26-2019, 03:16 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 731
Well it doesn't get easier when your older. Im 42. Meetup groups are a great source for me personally
chrisinmd is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 05:00 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 17
Church and maybe the gym, im weird , i can do physical stuff in front of people, but dont ask me to talk, my mind shuts down completly, but its good exposure therapy, and definitely a good Church, i find i had to tell people the truth about my social anxiety rather than try to cover it,or make conversation when i cant, it went from people thinking i was stuck up/ to befriending me and trying to help, and i was alot more relaxed, because normally my anxiety gets worse, because of how bad my anxiety is, but they understood and i didnt get asked to do things i couldnt
3188bh is offline  
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 05:36 AM
SAS Member
 
RedHouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 96
My Mood: Stressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3188bh View Post
Church and maybe the gym, im weird , i can do physical stuff in front of people, but dont ask me to talk, my mind shuts down completly, but its good exposure therapy, and definitely a good Church, i find i had to tell people the truth about my social anxiety rather than try to cover it,or make conversation when i cant, it went from people thinking i was stuck up/ to befriending me and trying to help, and i was alot more relaxed, because normally my anxiety gets worse, because of how bad my anxiety is, but they understood and i didnt get asked to do things i couldnt
I totally agree about being upfront with your SA bro, its genius.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - -- -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - --
I really have bad days I feel like am alone but it was once worse. I think am making progress and finding my smile back.
What am currently on:
Best Anxiety Program
The link is audios,videos and by that Irish guy Barry McDonagh(one of my favorite Social Anxiety authors ). Sharing is caring.
RedHouse is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome