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-   -   What are my chances? (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f10/what-are-my-chances-2225341/)

conantheworthless 07-09-2019 04:10 PM

What are my chances?
 
I really want to become independent (moving away from my parents) but at this moment I have no job, no income, no experience (I basically never worked). My mood is increasingly worsening and I feel incredibly embarrassed to be in this situation at my age. My life experience is basically non existent which makes me very anxious to talk to people, afraid that they ask me something about my private life (it mainly consists of spending time with dogs and parents).

I have no talents nor have I experience in anything except a blanc CV. I'm very very insecure and I can't sell myself at all. I tried for years but ultimately gave up, feeling much better after that decision but now it's come back to haunt me.

How realistic is it to find a steady job at my age with my "past"? I don't have a car so the job must be close to home, I prefer living in the city as that increases my chances at a job. I also don't want to " save" money by continuing to live with my parents. I want to move out the moment I have a job. It's the only way I can see myself getting better mentally. I really don't have a clue how to find a steady job (which is pretty much required if you want to rent or so I heard). I also have no idea on how to find a place to live.
I'm clueless about everything, I know it's weird at my age but it's the truth.
I really want to live alone, even if I have to scramble to pay up monthly, at least I know I'm alive then and it gives me a goal and ambition to find a better life.

I really wish I did things differently the day I graduated but my passive character decided differently. Now I feel bad mentally and physically. I often have too low blood pressure and while I want to change my life I don't think it's in my hands anymore. Who will give me a chance? It's all so expensive, I'm looking at prices on the internet and I can't possibly imagine to be able to pay up for rent. Even the smallest studios... are way out of my league. Definitely without a steady job. I'd have to go from temporary job to temporary job and considering my state of mind it can only lead to something bad (I'm pretty pessimistic at this point).

I know you guys can't help me either but perhaps someone can give me some moral support or tips I don't know. I feel like I'm at some turning point in my life for the first time ever. If I don't succeed I really don't know how it will all end, I'm extremely suicidal, I haven't tried it yet but I think about it every single day and then I get embarrassed by the thought of nobody attending my funeral (bar my immediate family), it's utterly ridiculous.

Sorry for the long text, for those who read it , thank you.

andy1984 07-09-2019 04:32 PM

yeah do temping or whatever **** work immigrants do there.

living with randoms is slightly better than living with parents but not worth the money. I've lived somewhere infested with cockroaches, a few places with filthy flatmates, etc. living alone is too expensive.

chrisinmd 07-25-2019 11:09 PM

Going to be tough but you got to start somewhere. First step is to find a job. Dosent have to be your dream job which it probably wont be anyway since its your first job. Try it out for a month or 2 and if you like it and make enough money move out as soon as you can. Your 36 years young I believe time to become independent. Not an insult I had to live at home for a while in my late 20's. Glad my parents helped but its embarrassing to live at home when your that old. Best of luck


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