Yeah. Hi. I don't usually make intro posts like this. Usually I join a forum, spend a week building up the courage to post one reply and then run away, never to be seen again. I want it to be different this time, so I'm doing things differently. I want to stick around, get to know people, make some friends.
I've never been professionally diagnosed with a social phobia or any other anxiety disorder, though it's pretty ****ing obvious I have some, and that they're getting worse. It is to me, at least. I'm so good at hiding how I feel that it would surprise me if anybody else has noticed anything at all. I was suicidal at one point. I was that close to killing myself and I could still laugh, joke and smile convincingly. Nobody ever noticed anything was wrong. I'd probably take up acting if I wasn't so self-conscious.
I've reached a block now. I can't think of anything else to write. That's probably a good thing; when I start talking about myself I always end up blathering like an idiot, on and on and on for hours, even when I know nobody cares at all about what I'm saying. I can't help it.
Hi Holly & welcome.
I care what you are saying. Blather away I'm interested.
Suicide is more than a passing thought in my mind so I understand.
I usually join & run too. I just joined here & would like it to be diff. as well.
I haven't been diagnosed either but like they say 'it's not rocket science' inside to know something is wrong. I hope we can talk sometime or you blog or something. I prob. can't help since I can't seem to help myself either but if I can I will.