Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Change in mentality needed!
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post #8 of (permalink) Old 09-12-2008, 03:14 PM
Aron James
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 339

Re: Change in mentality needed!


Den,

Since you kindly offered some advice, as your friend, i will offer you some of mine.

I agree with much of what you say, the way you present it however needs inspection.

When a person truly learns to master their own anxiety, then, they will deeply understand how to talk to others about theirs. This understanding will help that person help others more effectively.

The intention to help others who experience similar things to ourself naturally arises from our own experience of the suffering of anxiety. This intention is marvellous, but given the vast spectrum of how anxiety affects people in varying degrees, when we put ourself in the shoes of a person who is struggling with stronger anxiety for example, the last thing they want is a lecture. The intention must follow with wisdom and experience. They've searched, they've done so much to help themself, it hurts, they can't find relief although they are trying. They may cry themself to sleep wishing they could die because they can't stop the negative thoughts that anxiety is causing.

As valiant and even wrathful, seeing things in your shoes, to help others out of their quagmire, the personal questioning approach of the post could potentially message to others in a multiplicity of different ways. Sometimes if solutions are offered without anyone asking, then, as good as the solution is, it is rejected. This happens because it feels 'forced'. There needs to be a common exploration from both sides.

Useful approaches could be sharing your own personal experience stating how you turned it around and changed your mentality after such long periods of anxiety etc instead of saying to people "You can do it, you are unique just like everyone else in this world, live life how you want to live it and go for what you want, thats how life should be lived!" - It may appear empty. It may come across as powerless instead of empowering, which is what you want others to feel. And why wouldn't you want others to feel empowered? You care, you want to help.

Aron
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