Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Why am I scared to look people in the eyes?
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post #5 of (permalink) Old 05-30-2008, 11:35 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ohio
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Posts: 9,208

Re: Why am I scared to look people in the eyes?

Do you have any friends who know about your SA issues? You could set up staring contests with him/her to help you along!

What do you fear will happen if you maintain eye contact regularly in a conversation? Specifically? Do you think they'll somehow be more likely to see you as flawed or unattractive if you make eye contact? In reality it seems that people, in general, prefer eye contact because you come across as being engaged and interested in what they have to say. The safety behavior, looking away and refusing to make eye contact, doesn't really protect you from anything of fact, it's actually more likely to make people less interested in you...because you'll come across as less interested in them.

CBT this stuff!

What about photos you see online of someone staring at you... Can you maintain eye contact there, but just not in person?

This is an area I've improved so much in that it is really a non-issue now. I don't even think about or relate anymore to how I felt in the past (9-10 years ago, I wouldn't make eye contact at all). I think this is a problem VERY suitable for CBT though because it's easy to encounter people (plenty of test opportunities).

AIM: adamhoef

He ran because it grounded him in basics. There was both life and death in it; it was unadulterated by media hype, trivial cares, political meddling...It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.
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