Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Feel like a total crappy friend to a friend of mine
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 09-19-2007, 06:53 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Michigan USA
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 313

Feel like a total crappy friend to a friend of mine

Hi all,

I feel really bad about myself now. Well I had a good friend from my college days 2005-2006, and we would talk every month or two about school and such all through the end of 2006 and beginning of 2007 (I wasnt in school at that time)

Well the last time I talked to him was like February 2007. March came but I didnt call, neither did he. Ultimately we normally would call eachother like every month or two an see whats up.

I swear it was like July/August and I was contemplating calling him, but because of SA I dont particularly enjoy talking on the phone (doesnt make me that anxious or anything, maybe slightly, but I just find it like a 'Job' or 'Chore' to call someone, so I put it off...and off, etc.)

Well I decided not to call him, and I felt really bad about it at the time, because he is a good friend of mine. But I also figured like...well, hey he hasnt called me either so...maybe its no big deal.

So today 7 months later he called me and left a voicemail saying the usual 'whats going on man' havent talked to you in a while, etc. He sounded like it was no big deal that we havent talked in so long.

I feel like a total a**hole for not calling him months before like a friend should do. I dont know why because the truth is he didnt call me either. I dont know why I feel so bad right now. I called him back but his voicemail picked up, so I left something like:

'Hey whats going on! Wow it's been like what 7 months since we've talked, yeah i'm sorry man I lost your phone number and everyone elses like a few months ago back in June or whatever, so I have no idea whats up with school or any of the other guys we know. I just been going on facebook and see whats up with them on their profiles and such but...yeah so anyways it's nice to hear from you, i'm curious whats new with you/going on with school and such so... well, i'll be up till like 4am as i usually go to sleep around that time, if you want to call and bs tonight thats fine, otherwise i'll call you tomorrow or in a couple days or something. Alright man take care - bye'

Do you guys think I shouldn't have said that about losing his phone # and everyone elses? I figured i'd have to think of some reason for not calling him, other than something lame like 'I was too busy' (oh yeah for 7 months), so I just figured i'd tell him I lost his number and everyone elses that was on my phone.

I decided that if he asks when I do talk to him, i'll tell him 'yeah I had to send in my phone for warranty and it came back all cleared out with nobodys stored phone #'s on there, but when you called it was logged in my received calls'.

My phone was off though and he didnt leave his phone # in his voicemail. So now i'm like, UH, crap, maybe I was just caught bs'ng him. If I told him I lost his number and he didnt give it to me in his voicemail, how could I call him, LOL. Fortunately he probably doesnt remember what he left in his voicemail (because it doesnt save your outgoing voicemail messages, at least on Verizon) so...

But I can tell him if he asks 'Yeah my phone was charging so it'll go straight to voicemail but it was on while charging so it logged your number in received calls'.

Now i'm thinking I just dug myself into a deeper hole and I feel like crap. My message I posted above is like identical to what I left him.

Does it sound like BS to you guys about me losing his phone #? Do you think he'll think i'm BSng about losing his phone #?

Man I feel like a horrible friend lesson, my gut said I should call my old friends months ago, even if its better late than ever, that not at all. I chose the not at all option or 'wait till they call me', and now I feel like a horrible person.

I also dont know why I have to apologize and feel like I have to reason to everybody. I do it all the time - I apologize for nothing really. Why should I have apologized for not calling him, I should have just acted nonchalant about it and not gave any excuses, that would have been the best thing to do.

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