Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Doesn't it ****ing annoy you wanting what you can't have?
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post #8 of (permalink) Old 12-27-2010, 05:04 PM
SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Posts: 1,124
I wish I were perfect.
So do I. Literally every day, I ritualistically get rid of all my physical flaws in my head. I visualize the flaw being removed and I analyze how much better I would look if I didn't have it. I can't fantasize about sex, cuddling or any type of physical intimacy if I don't perform this ocd ritual, my sex drive is very low because of this. Before I lost my job, what bothered me was the attention I received about my looks but my flaws themselves only bothered me a little. Now I've become so aware of them and how turned off the women I view as desirable would be by them. What makes it so harsh is that I didn't always have these flaws (ie. stretch marks, chronically dry lips, ) so I have to analyze how much better things could be if I didn't have them, especially if I were smart enough to prevent them from happening in the first place.

I haven't wanted a girlfriend since I was 19-20 years old but I find myself thinking how great it might be to have one.
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