Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - The Toxic Shame thread (the cause of SA for most)
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post #11 of (permalink) Old 08-24-2010, 08:35 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
Join Date: May 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 614
Originally Posted by cubanscorpio View Post
ugh not again with this toxic shame crap. are you trying to sell a book or something?
Can you point out the specific parts of my posts that are “crap” as you called it? Can you tell me what doesn’t make sense in what I posted? Yes, I have often posted before in the other threads about toxic shame. The reason I continue to post about it and bring it to the light is because of the absolute seriousness of it. It is so obvious how toxic shame plays a major role in SA. Anyone with a rational mind can see why. It is my total belief that this condition affects the majority of the people with SA – and this is a SA forum, isn’t it? And that is why I post here. Now, whether that majority is as little as 51% of us or on up to 99% … I don’t know the exact number. But I certainly believe it is more than not, meaning at least 51%. So, I am not making any claims that 100% of the people here have this condition. As the old saying goes, "there's one in every crowd" no matter what the issue or situation is. So there probably is a certain small percentage of people with SA in which toxic shame is not the problem. However, through common sense, it is not difficult to realize that it does affect more of us than not.

After reading about toxic shame and knowing how it works, how can anyone say that it doesn’t affect many us with SA?? Anyone that says it has nothing to do with most of us is in denial and doesn’t want to admit to shame having anything to do with them. The last thing people want to admit is that they have shame. As John Bradshaw says: "There is shame about shame. People will readily admit guilt, hurt or fear before they will admit shame." So I am saying, you must face the truth and deal with it instead of hiding from it.

This is why I say that a section of this forum needs to be devoted to the subject of toxic shame. Or at least this thread should be make into a “sticky” in which it is always available for those here to read. Because if it affects so many of us, then doesn’t it make sense that everyone here know about it?

I know there are probably several members here that have seen my various postings in the past concerning this subject. I imagine some of their reactions may be along the lines of, “Why do you keep posting about it?” My response to that would be: “Well, should I ignore that toxic shame is actually the cause for SA in most people and instead continue worrying about the symptom?” (SA is a symptom of the actual problem – that of toxic shame) “Isn’t the reason everyone is in this forum is because they want to know what causes SA and what to do about it?” “Would everyone rather complain about their problem and not want to cure their problem?”

I hope I got my point across as to why toxic shame MUST continue to be discussed in this – as well as any other – social anxiety forum.


"Shyness can be a serious problem when it is rooted in toxic shame." - John Bradshaw, toxic shame expert

Visit this thread link to find out the cause of SA for most of us and what to do about it:
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