The fact that breaks me when I see my dad being engaging with my cousin is that he always says she's a happy person so that's why she got the job and gets jobs easily.
That really trigger me because I could have been a happy person. But I grew up around him being moody, depressive and complaining. He would always scold me whenever I was happy. So I'm scared to be happy around him. And I'm scared of people because I've been put down my whole life.
He's so proud of her. She was working at a restaurant and he would say she's the manager even though she wasn't.
He's always dismissive of me. A few months ago I went to a job interview a bit further away than my previous jobs. I usually get anxious about saying anything about myself to my mum around him. I told her. He heard it, scoffed and said that's far and walked away.
You can understand why I'm so triggered when I see him taking an interest in other people's children.
My deceased brother friend is married to my mum's cousin and my dad talks to him happily. Whereas my dad abused my brother when he was young and allowed his side of the family to abuse him.
My brother had schizophrenia and had an episode. He bear hugged my dad and was punching him in a rough housing way. My dad told him he should die and that my dad would be better off if he died.
One time my brother's friend (the one who is married to my mum's cousin) was having issues with his relationship and he came over and ranted to my dad.
My dad took him out to eat to calm him down.
He told his own child to die and is emotionally supportive towards another person's child.
It breaks my heart remembering how my brother was treated.