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post #2 of (permalink) Old 09-27-2020, 04:08 PM
tehuti88
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At the bottom of Lake Algonquin (Michigan)
Language: English
Gender: Female
Age: 44
Posts: 28,978
My Mood: Crappy
Yes, mostly online. Much of it was before "online bullying" was even recognized as a thing; whenever I reacted or mentioned it, to anyone online or off, I was told to "Get off the computer and go for a walk, it's just the Internet, it's not real!"

I've been criticized, mocked/ridiculed, trolled, impersonated, parodied, been blamed for things I didn't do, had people call my personal experiences lies, banned without cause, stalked, harassed, and even threatened with rape once. Hahaha, just log off and take a walk, it's just words on a screen, it's not real.

Nowadays it's recognized as a real thing, there's awareness and all. Makes me feel pretty bitter about the way everybody brushed it off back when I was the one being hurt.

I went through what would nowadays be considered "bullying" several times in school as well, though again, back then, it wasn't recognized as bullying and even I didn't consider it that (the term "bullying" was mostly reserved for threats and intimidation whereas what I went through was mocking and ridicule). And again, the reaction I got from others whenever I reacted was generally "Just remember, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!'" I wanted to say that yes, words DO ****ing hurt, but what was the point.

The one time I told a guidance counselor about two girls bullying me every day when I waited in the hall after lunch, he was apathetic about doing anything about it, insisting that his hands were tied since I didn't know their names. I said I could ID them from a yearbook, and I did so--still remember their names to this day. Guidance counselor was still reluctant but said he'd talk to them and get it settled. Well, he must've changed his mind because nothing was ever done, the two continued bullying and teasing me in the hallway after lunch (they'd follow me around, snickering just within earshot; when I'd go to get a drink from the fountain one of them would jump in front of me to cut me off while they both laughed; passive-aggressive **** that could be excused as "Oh, I didn't even know you were there!" like typical coward bullies)...I ended up going to wait in the hall at the other end of the school just to get away from them. This almost made me late for my next class every day. Nobody cared.

The irony is the guidance counselor was the one who'd requested to start seeing me because I was so shy and quiet and depressed in school...I didn't go to him on my own. Lot of good it did, he was just one more in a long, long line of professionals who pretended to care but then decided I wasn't worth the effort. Having professionals brush off your pain all the time is just as bad as the bullying, it proves you don't matter.

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

***

(Devetko's boyfriend Stan Brooks & Det. Reichert are horsing around.)

Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )

***

"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island
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