Thanks for your input man.
This year changed everything. Iíve become a different person than I ever was this year. And Iím sorry about your sister.. I never thought my brother would get a girlfriend and it surprised me because I always thought he was gonna single his whole life. I guess I got used to how life always was and I never bothered changing things because I donít like change unless itís for the better. So far this year has changed things for the worse.
Anyway, thanks for replying. I hope thereís a light at the end of this tunnel.
No problem, thanks about my sister, with her it isn't really anything she ever said to me or about me, just the fact that she completely ignored me for our entire childhood and demanded to be the center of attention and blab nonstop while i was told to shut up. It is a weird psychological battle with her, I have avoided seeing her for about 6 years now, but she pretends to want a relationship with me and be upset, but all she wanted was to see me once or twice a year and text me once or twice a year. Would rather cut it off than let her think she has me some fake positive person in her life or support. She has enough people kissing her a** and I refuse to be one of them.
Well the last 5 years or so, i have become very bitter, a woman leaving me about 4 years ago combined with my best friend of 7 years ditching me about 9 years ago make me have no faith in people or desire to know anyone. I am so tired and run down i don't have the energy anyway. My point is, stuff going wrong can really change a person's demeanor or outlook, i am a very negative person with no patience now for years. I can be Mr. Happy Idiot with a smile on my face and embrace positivity, but how long can I keep up that BS? I am not really complaining, I am content on some level now to avoid people. The less energy i put into friendships or relationships the better, this way when it doesn't work out i can say i didn't invest too much