Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - Anyone else going through tough times right now?
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post #29 of (permalink) Old 08-10-2020, 11:01 PM
Disheveled and Lost
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 795
I have gone to 800 or 900 pro sports games, (the last 9 years I've been going alone) and a ton of movies before the coronavirus disaster. I finally had time to rest and my body physically shut down, and all i want to do is sleep even 3 or 4 months later. To the last poster, I feel like i am staying alive basically to pi** people off. Not much of a social life to speak of. My business took off on ebay, but I still feel like a worthless loser. Still hanging on to hope that a woman i had a FWB over 4 years ago will take me back, doesn't look like much of a possibility. A few girls wanted to keep seeing me, either they wanted me to pay for everything or they were boring so i cut them off. The one's i liked I got impatient and scared them off. Not liked in my town or the entire New York City area. Even throughout the coronavirus, except for maybe March or early April, all I see are people out dating and laughing with their friends or boyfriend/girlfriends, as if everything is completely normal. Every time I see a hot chick in public with or without a guy, i want to literally commit suicide. I try to not go out as much as possibly to avoid seeing hot chicks, it is literally to the point that I feel much better never leaving and exposing myself to everything I am missing. And NO ONE is going to convince me the grass is not greener. I would rather date the ugliest girl on the planet and argue with her 10 hours a day than spend another year or 5 with my cat. If I could pretend I am not missing out, I could maybe think staying in reading and watching TV isn't half bad. I have a nice apartment in a rich area and a few rooms, decorated beautifully, and no one ever visits. The poorest bums I see in public manage to be walking with hot chicks often, so there ya go. What a life. I also work my azz off on my online store last few years, and everyone in public still shuns me, so what is the freakin point of anything, i may as well shut down the store, i am just too far into it and invested literally hundreds of hours to perfect my listings, otherwise i probably would have ditched everything. Want to move to the country or anywhere without crowds and attitude and congestion. My neighbors apartments are all scrunched together so not a lot of room to breathe. I like the idea of living in the middle of nowhere alone with miles of space around me. My life has been going to pro sports games and movies cramped in seats next to people or standing or in tiny train cars with a lot of delays and sweaty people all around me, so that would be a change i guess. Hard to say if I would lose my mind faster in the country with acres of land around me or just staying in my current situation. I am in the middle of New York City with more things to do than anywhere in the world and I still couldn't get a freaking date most of my life. And it wasn't like i was a shut-in, I was out at a game or movie or event almost every night, so I was OUT in NYC and couldn't meet anyone
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