Originally Posted by unemployment simulator
thanks mate. yea that's what I have tried to convey on here before, how people look at me. it's a big factor in my social anxiety is how I am perceived. I suspect it has something to do with an unfortunate combination of looks and other things in my outer personality.
my size is big, over 6 foot and a bit overweight at the moment. I have a shaved head (currently a buzzcut as I am balding) I have to keep it short because of male pattern baldness if I want to look tidy. and I typically dress using colours that reflect my mood, blacks or dark colours. so I basically look like a henchman or villain. but it's also my personality too, I am not particularly refined, I am clumsy I can come across as a bit of a thoughtless oaf. I tend to put my head down, usually a confidence thing and I am a loner. I have had to deal with suspicion from others all my life. I have got it from neighbours for most of my adult years, people always seem to be watching and scrutinizing me. sometimes life can feel like I am walking around with a sentence for committing a crime, it gets me angry and depressed.
Sorry to hear that mate. I think I've seen other people mention a similar thing on here.
I've noticed people tend to reflect the way we feel about ourselves - to some extent anyway. I know when I used to be addicted to the Xanax (plus I suspect I was also manic at the time) I would be very over-confident and even something as simple as walking into a supermarket people would step back out of my way. Not out of fear or anything - but they would just give way. It was weird. I'd say the opposite is probably also true.
Nowadays I sort of know how I'm feeling more and try to control it. I tend to walk around or sit on the trams with a half-smile on my face - and if anything people tend to smile at me in return. (they're probably thinking what the hell is this dick-head smiling at though)