Social Anxiety Forum - View Single Post - how did your mental illness begin ?
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post #17 of (permalink) Old 01-31-2020, 01:21 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Originally Posted by jesus alejandro View Post
i always think about my past trying to figure out what my life would be like if this accident didnt happen , and thinking about my past makes me depressed , there are times where i regret making children for some reason which is all related to my mentall illness , i changed as a person to a point where i dont take life decisions serious anymore , before i had a regular mind set where somebody builts a family and do what he suppose to do no matter how hard it gets , now im just living for the moment , i had no knowledge about it and didnt think that something like that could affect me , but the medication are helping me alot and studying about it was also a major help , depersonalization is a state where you feel like you re dreaming , or where you feel like you are high , it is kinda fun and exciting and trippy at times , specially when you get used to it , but when it happened the first time it was a very unpleasant experience because i had no knowledge about it ,

at what age did you enjoy life the most was it around 13 or 14
No, I don't think I'd say about 13 or 14 mate. I had a lot of fun in my late teens and also throughout my 20's with my girlfriends. Went and stayed over in Germany for a while etc in my mid 20's. But the time I look back on with the most fondness is the last 25 years or so - with my wife and my son. Nothing comes close to that - actually everything else just seems a bit silly in comparison tbh.

What you say about it feeling a bit trippy is a bit like mania with me - it can feel like that sometimes. But other times very intense and very unpleasant. So I have to decide whether to keep taking medication - which has side-effects.

It's good you have your family mate - at least that gives you something to hold onto. I hope you're doing okay anyway.
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