Good idea to do the volunteer thing. May meet some good friends or people with common interests.
Your 31 and still have plenty of time to improve. Im 42 and I am light years ahead of where I was when I was 22.
Also consider the fact that people feel the need to follow the model life plan are 'normies' and need to do that to feel average or better. When you are coming from a history of having SA you're not comparing yourself with the same yard stick and should have more confidence despite 'being behind'
It's never good to be comparing yourself all the time with others anyway, there's always a taller mountain - those who have the wife and kids and career would be comparing themselves with richer people who go on more holidays/better schools, those will compare themselves to millionaire entrpreneurs, those will compare themselves to billionaire moguls.
So make some small goals for improvement every day. Small improvements every day make a huge difference. A year later you will be amazed what you can accomplished.