No...Doesn't scare me off at all. I agree with everything you stated. As a therapist, I am blown away every week hearing my client's past experiences with therapists and their complete lack of effort and/or basics to what is most important for effective treatment to take place. 85% of effective treatment is solely on the therapeutic relationship. One of the biggest factors in the relationship is understanding & being non-judgmental.
At the same time, I don't feel your points speak as much to the ineffectiveness of these techniques, and more so in the therapist someone is seeing. A therapist should NEVER say things like: 'you aren't working hard enough'. That's a complete lack of knowledge on the debilitating symptoms anxiety and/or depression bring in. One concern is most clients will get scared off of seeing ANY therapist once they experience one that is just a bad therapist. As a result, All therapists are viewed as bad and/or a belief sets in that therapy is ineffective. Instead, they should recognize that there are bad therapists and good therapists out there. If they experience judgment from one, do not go back and continue to search for someone that has the most basic (and most crucial) set of traits in place: Supportive/Understanding/Non-Judgmental/Patient/Flexible. This is pretty easy to spot...If you are not seeing those traits in them, they are not a good fit for probably anybody.
Too much emphasis has been placed on the specific models therapists implement and the type of therapy they 'specialize' in. Find someone who can relate or understands that the lack of progress is more so due to the debilitating symptoms that surface when significant stress arises.
At the same time, those that seek therapy do need to realize that the true work takes place in between sessions. The session itself is more like a piano lesson. Getting good at the piano requires practice in between performances/lessons/etc.