Scared that my life will never change but I don't know how to turn things around
I'm 31 and I have had social anxiety for as long as I can remember.
My life is way off track. I spent a lot of my 20s unemployed or studying. I worked a few undemanding office based roles and only for short periods.
Most people my age are quite settled now and the people I went to university with are a million miles ahead of me. From what I gather, most of them got nice jobs very quickly. It is like they had passwords or cheat codes that I didn't know about, as I got higher grades than they did.
A lot of the blame lies with myself as I haven't applied for enough jobs due to anxiety. However, I have had a number of rejections and I find telephone interviews very stressful - to the point that I avoid them altogether.
In an attempt to do something I have decided to volunteer on Saturday at a local run. I feel anxious about it even though I will only be marshalling. It's a regular event that I often take part in, so I hope that I can put it on my CV as my experience section is sparse.
I feel like I am starting from the bottom and I feel so pathetic about everything. I just don't know what the catalyst for change will be, if I ever change at all. I am taking baby steps by volunteering, but I know that the anxiety will always be there and that just gets me so down. I feel like a self-concious teenager who never grew up.
Can anyone relate to this at all?