Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down one ****post at a time
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Well I had a toxic friendship but I didn't really like them at all ever from about the age of 6-10 we weren't even 'friends' it was just hard to get away from them because doing so drew too much attention from other people but I basically jumped on the first chance I had to get away from them 100% at 18 and didn't look back. It's difficult to write about partly because I've blocked out various details especially when very young, but I haven't really come across anyone else who has described a similar situation to what I went through maybe some similar details but it was just bizarre really and isn't really similar to your case.
So yeah I'm not sure about how to deal with the part where you still need the person for your own emotional attachment. I think it happens when you don't have any other relationships or support (which is also why abusive people try to turn people against you or cut you off from other people.) But you definitely need to get away from him because he definitely sounds like a narcissist and he's shown that he doesn't actually care about your feelings since he's OK with hurting you.
The difficult part is, especially as an adult, finding new quality relationships is hard. If you could find a decent quality therapist that might work in the mean time though.