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Would you have formal wedding?

1K views 36 replies 29 participants last post by  rabidfoxes 
#1 ·
If you were getting married would you have a formal wedding? For me, I'd rather just elope somewhere or get married at a courthouse! Weddings to me are just stressful, and a waste of money. It's amazing to me how much money a wedding costs for the short amount of time it lasts. The money could be spent on a vacation, buying or renovating a home to live in together or even on future children (if you decided to have children or adopt)!

I've only been to about 6 weddings, surprisingly.

To me a lot of weddings these days are just done to show off how many friends or how affluent or well connected somebody is by who they invite or how many bridesmaids or guests they have. There would be no point to me to have a wedding, I don't have that many friends or people to invite, unlike these big weddings you see pictures of on Facebook.

Also I had two friends that got married. There was a very long wedding ceremony (probably an hour!) and then it was almost another hour to the reception, and they had it catered and had a limo, a honeymoon and a brand new house to come home to. But the wedding ended up with a divorce about 2 years later.
 
#2 ·
One word. NO.

NO WEDDINGS, NO GIRLFRIEND, NO SEX, NO KIDS... NOTHING OF THAT CRAP I WILL EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE. IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE IT. EXCEPT FOR SEX I DON'T EVEN WANT ANYTHING OF THAT... JUST NO. I WON'T EVER NEED THAT...
 
#7 ·
I agree that weddings are a colossal waste of time and money. Plus they're basically big social events which I absolutely hate.

I'm actually kind of diametrically opposed to weddings on several levels other than just never wanting to be married and hating social events. I'm a very casual person, so formal occasions just irritate me. I really dislike the frilly decorations they typically use for weddings, with all the white and pink, ribbons and lace and stuff. Ick. And those tacky white lights everywhere too. I hate emotional speeches and I hate dancing. Even the food is typically too fancy for my tastes. Plus I hate having to wear a monkey suit for ANYTHING, or even just a shirt and tie -- if I'm going to have to be somewhere for hours then I damned well better be able to wear a T-shirt and jeans! Especially at an event that is thrown at least in part for me!

I've only ever been to four receptions that I can recall -- because Mormons have these weird private wedding ceremonies that most people can't actually attend. But I can't imagine that more "normal" weddings are much better. I'm glad that I'm well past the age that people I know have gotten married; if I never attend another wedding it'll be too soon.
 
#8 ·
If it ever happened for me, reality probably would be out in nature with chairs, tables, few people.

Yeah, copying a wedding of someone I know. But was simple, beautiful.

But if an ideal scenario, Palace of Versailles and with this dress at 1:38+.

 


I feel weird even thinking about things like this, but yeah. :b
 
#9 ·
We had a fairly formal wedding. My wife's Italian so it was sort of expected - although we didn't have to have a church one, which was something. We still had the big white cars and flowers and everything else though - it scared the living daylights out of me.

I'd taken enough medication to knock out half the people there - and I was still scared stiff. Not something I'd recommend for someone with anxiety issues. I would have much preferred a very small one in a garden somewhere with just a few people.
 
#10 ·
Small themed wedding at halloween, corpse bride & I'd have a shovel to pretend I just dug her up.
 
#11 ·
I can't see myself ever getting married. Since it is a fairly pointless ritual that involves making promises that you could just as easily make without it. I don't imagine I will ever actually be in a relationship again either. And I would probably only be in a relationship with someone who also isn't interested in the whole marriage concept. So one way or another, I don't think so.
 
#12 ·
It's fun attending other people's weddings, but I don't think I'd want one for myself. I don't plan to marry - in the off chance that I do, I'd probably just have a small courthouse wedding with the necessary witnesses to process the paperwork, and avoid the whole song and dance. As the would-be bride, it's just way too much pressure, work, attention, and money.
 
#13 ·
I don't really like marriage from a legal perspective, but regardless I'd probably prefer to do something free/cheap and weird. Not sure what, some esoteric/creative peculiar thing. Rituals are fun to me but only if they're weird. Really don't like family get togethers, very awkward and that whole thing just seems stressful and an obligation, which isn't exactly what I want to be doing/thinking about at that time. I don't see it as joining two families or any of that archaic stuff anyway.
 
#18 ·
hm possibly but only for my future-wife if she wants it. I'd want to have people I'm comfortable with there, so that would be maybe 10 people. possibly including my dad, but I'd rather not have any other family there. but yeah I guess future-wife would want her big family and many friends there which would be a bit overwhelming. I'd go along with it for her and because her family is nice. or maybe shes like me and her family isn't coming, just close friends, thatd be cool. and we can arrive on hover bikes, while fleeing from the climate conflict, zooming past the looters and derelict buildings.
 
#19 ·
I was at a family wedding this past weekend. It was actually done pretty well. I made the mistake of hinting that I would want a wedding like that. The mother of the bride is my mother's first cousin and she is cool, but it was implied that I was getting married right away. I don't have a girlfriend (the siste of the bride said she'd find me someone :lol).


I can picture the formal wedding with me wearing a tuxedo for the first time (I would be at least 45 years old by then).....doing a Viennese waltz a la Dancing with the Stars with my new wife. My brother would be my best man (my nephew would be the ittle ring dude) and I would rub in that he eloped in Las Vegas so I couldn't be his best man! :mum


That's a big change from 10-20 years ago when I was upset that it would never happen. Now, it's hope and a possibility.
 
#22 ·
I don't exactly "plan" on getting married. If it happens, it'll happen. It's not exactly my goal in life to get married. I think I'd be content just being in a long term relationship with someone, but if he wanted to get married and I could see myself being with him indefinitely, then I would marry him.
 
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#35 ·
Being the centre of attention for one minute is embarrassing enough, an entire day is hellish.
That. I wouldn't use the word 'embarrassing' myself ('uncomfortable'?) but this pretty much encapsulates my first thought when I read the question of this thread.

Then there are other problems. I wouldn't want family there, and they would be hurt. I wouldn't want friends either, not en masse anyway, as I prefer 1-2-1 and smaller circles to large groups. I don't want to wear a cake dress or be a bridezilla. Actually, the whole wedding thing is more about things I don't want than things I want. Which leaves the question: why bother then?
 
#24 ·
I've only been to one wedding that I was old enough to remember much. I must have been around 14 or so. I had SAD at the time but once I got past the greeting line thing and some champagne it wasn't that bad SA wise of course since no one is focused on you. I only attended the reception.

If not for the severe stage fright I wouldn't care one way or the other. The thing that seems popular now are farm weddings, especially around here, lots of venues. ex.https://thefarmatcottrelllake.com/site/ Another one just up the road from that one, a horse farm, is now focusing on weddings. https://www.birchtownstables.com/ Well I live on a farm so I guess if we had one here it might be a little less stressful. But I don't even have much of any family left and distanced myself from friends after high school so there wouldn't be many from my side of the family that's for sure. I just watched a video of a distant cousin's wedding in Poland...it was really formal... anyway that's what made me think of this thread.
 
#27 ·
I've sometimes wondered about this when I think of myself having a wedding. Since I wouldn't have many friends to bring, so it would be a bit empty. Now, I know there are some girls out there that are social but marry shy guys that don't have that many friends. I've seen that happen, they're smart enough to know that just because a guy doesn't have to come from a popular successful family or have a lot of friends to be a good husband. So I know it must happen that there are weddings where the bride has most of the guests.

Also it seems to me, that as guys we usually don't care about the wedding! It's what the spouse wants, I would think most guys just want to get through it and everyone to be happy. LOL
 
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