A feeling of universal "contamination" has conquered me. I can't escape seeing "contamination" everywhere I look at. What I think started as a form of resistance in order not to drown in the monster called "society" and being "contaminated" by it has become itself an autonomous monster that now is drowning me and my ability to love. He makes me wonder what worth does human life have. A very dangerous question, but he will not be defeated by empty words and shallow morality, and for him everything is shallow. But what alternative can I offer to this monster? Can I really persuade him that the world is not that bad? Can I convince him that he is asking too much, that in fact he will never be satisfied because he was born from the thought that satisfaction itself is the supreme danger, the end of life and vitality? "But what about all the possibilities of life that are dying at each second, what about all the souls that are being crippled, transformed in mere shadows of what they could be... no, what they should be, what they really want to be?", he would answer me. "What do you intend to do without me? I am a monster born to fight another monster, because only a monster can defeat a monster. Because in order to resist such a huge monster you need all of your energy canalized to fighting, all of your feelings canalized to hate. Carelessness results in irreparable harm, weakness in complete annihilation. I warn you, if you surrender a new 'satisfied' one with your name and your body will be born, but you yourself will die".
I don't know how all of this is going to end.