I think I've reached a point where maybe I just need to accept that I'm always going to be anxious and awkward in all social situations no matter how much I try and practice and expose myself socially. Can't even really look people in the eyes. My mind is forever neurotic as hell, and I'm tired of trying to fix that so I can be socially accepted. Maybe I need to try medication again. I just hate talking to my doctor about this stuff. My doctor prescribed me zoloft a couple years ago but I quit earlier than I should have because I was worried it was altering my demeanor in weird ways and not helping.